


Edo 99

by sleepydragon03



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), ノラガミ | Noragami
Genre: F/M, M/M, check back here because idk if and when they will happen, dark themes will happen eventually, tags will be added as neccesary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-24 08:11:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 47,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14950922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepydragon03/pseuds/sleepydragon03
Summary: Shenanigans and dumb stuff happen in the ninety ninth precinct of Edo





	1. Mickey Mouse Club House

**Author's Note:**

> ALRIGHT EVERYBODY! I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS. This is my Brooklyn Nine Nine Au. I’m not writing this all the way through and then posting, I’m writing each chapter then posting, probably not very often, I’m working on other fics. Also I know nothing about Japanese law enforcement this is going to be very westernized, but I thought Edo 99 sounded cool. Also it’s not going to be very law enforcement centralized just everybody goofing around and having a good time. 
> 
> This is going to be mostly a comedy but it will also will deal with darker themes I will update the rating and trigger tags as it becomes necessary because I have no idea where this is going.

“Alright squad, gather round,” Tenjin said, standing in the doorway to his office next to a young boy who looked very much like he didn’t want to be there. “This is our new intern, Yukine. He’s here on court ordered community service.”

“Nice,” Yato said, leaning back in his desk and kicking his feet up. “What a winner.”

“Shut it, scrawny,” Yukine snapped.

“So, what’re you in for?” Yato asked, grinning.

“Vandalism,” Yukine grumbled, crossing his arms defensively.

“Wow, real tough guy, can’t wait to break him in.” Hiyori snorted.

“If by break him in you mean push him away by showering him in gifts of hand knitted sweaters and hand drawn art?” Hiyori asked

“You said that you liked those!”

“They were beautiful.”

“Alright Yukine,” Tenjin said, “This is the squad. Kofuku is my secretary, her husband Daikoku is Sargent.” The two of them waved. “In the back are Take and Kiun, they’re partners.”

“Stay away from them they’re _super_ weird,” Yato said.

“Yato’s in love with Hiyori and has been for years,” Take said in retaliation.

“Guilty!” Yato said proudly, grinning at Hiyori. She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. “Everyone already knew that! I am unashamed!”

“You’re unbelievable,” Take said.

“As you’ve already heard, this is Yato, his partner is named Hiyori.” Yukine looked vaguely alarmed. “Then we have Kazuma and Bishamon.”

“Are they _normal_?”

“Not even close,” Yato said. “Bishamon is terrifying, and Kazuma sits up straight. Like, I don’t think I’ve ever seen his back touch the chair.”

“And you never will,” Kazuma said, looking coolly at Yato. Yato gave him a horrified look. Yukine was looking rather green. He looked pleadingly up at Tenjin.

“Can I just go to Juvie instead?” Tenjin chuckled.

“You’ll get used to it here, they’re all really good people. You’ll like it.”

“And you’ll probably have a hand knitted sweater by the end of the week, even though it’s June,” Kiun said.

“Ha! The jokes on you, I finished it already!” Yato said, pulling a gift bag out of his backpack.

“Ha!” Kofuku cried, punching the air. “Pay up everybody!”

“No way!” Bishamon groaned.

“I should have known,” Hiyori said, “he’s been knitting at his desk since the Captain said we were getting a new intern, he told me it was an afghan, but it was too closely knit!” Yato gave her an adoring look.

“I _love_ that you know that.” Yato got to his feet and presented Yukine with the package proudly.

“Thanks…” Yukine said, peering into the bag with trepidation. Kofuku walked around the office collecting cash, obviously having won an office betting pool.

“Don’t worry, Yuki,” she said. “Yato’s sweaters are very soft and warm, we all love them even though Take pretends to hate them.”

“Also, Yato, Hiyori, there’s been a robbery over on seventy-fifth street, I want you two over there now to check out the crime scene.”

“Alright!” Yato said. “I’ll just have to feed Mickey!” The entire station groaned and Yukine looked around, confused.

“I don’t understand, who is Mickey?”

“The rat that lives in Yato’s desk,” Bishamon answered.

“The what?”

“He’s not a rat, he’s a gerbil!”

“If you think he’s a gerbil then why did you name him Mickey?” Kazuma asked, looking like they’d had this discussion several times.

“I had an uncle named Mickey!”

“Your dad was an only child and you never knew your mom’s family,” Hiyori said dryly.

“She _could_ have had a brother named Mickey!”

“Just admit that you know it’s a mouse!” Take cried, annoyed.

“He’s a gerbil!”

“You named him after Mickey Mouse, Yato!” Daikoku said.

“You even said you wanted to find him a Minnie,” Kiun interjected.

“Those are all gerbil names!” Yato protested, sliding open his top left drawer to reveal a small mouse and a habitat that Yato had built for it.

“Why is there a rat living in his desk?”

“It’s a gerbil!”

“It’s there because Yato left food there, so it moved in, and then he made friends with it, and he cries every time the captain tries to make him get rid of it,” Kofuku said. Yukine looked horrified.

“Mickey is my friend!” Yukine looked to Tenjin, who looked like he was seriously regretting the choices that had led him to this point in his life.

“I took it to the vet to be sure it doesn’t have any diseases one day while Yato was distracted, we’re all perfectly safe,” Tenjin said. “It’s been vaccinated.”

“Mickey is like the station mascot!” Yato said, filling the little water bottle he’d attached to the drawer.

“Why would we want our mascot to be a rat?” Kazuma asked. “Everyone hates rats, they’re an infestation.”

“He’s a gerbil! He is lovable and cute!”

“Ugh,” Hiyori said. “I can’t have this argument again.”

“Again?” Yukine asked.

“Just finish feeding Mickey and let’s go.” Yato patted his mouse/gerbil on the head before sliding the drawer closed and squirting some hand sanitizer in his palm, one of the conditions of Tenjin allowing Mickey to stay. Yato had to sanitize his hands after every time he played with him.

“So long to everyone, Hiyori and I are going to go solve another crime!” No one acknowledged Yato as he and Hiyori left, though Hiyori made a face at Bishamon, who laughed.

* * *

 

“Man, this case was too easy, a robbery in a video cam store?” Yato whined. “We got the robbers on thirty angles and twice in HD!”

“They only had two HD cameras?” Hiyori asked. Yato nodded morosely.

“It’s not even a good camera store.”

Hiyori and Yato walked down the street eating corn dogs from a cart that had been right outside the video store. Hiyori has paid, as usual.

“They can’t all be episodes of Law and Order, Yato. We’d go nuts.”

“You already _are_ nuts,” Yato teased. “Eating a corn dog from a street vendor in downtown Edo? You’re just asking for food poisoning.”

“You’re eating one too!” Hiyori protested.

“Yeah, but I have a gut of steel, I could eat garbage, but you? You’re definitely laying out of work tomorrow.”

“And if I do you’ll bring me soup and your Magic Feel Better Milkshake like you always do because you’re such a kind stalker and I _still_ don’t know how you got my address _or_ a copy of my keys.”

“And you never will,” Yato said mysteriously, grinning. Hiyori rolled her eyes.

“Whatever, you probably got those recipes on Pinterest.” Yato gasped in indignation.

“How _dare_ you! Those recipes have been passed down in my family for generations.”

“I thought you disowned your _adopted_ family after your father's arrest.”

“I didn’t disown their recipes.” Hiyori snorted, then choked.

“God, what is that smell.” Yato looked grimly at her.

“Hiyori throw away your corn dog, I recognize that smell.”

“You’ve _got_ to be kidding me.” Hiyori tossed her corn dog into a nearby trash can and brushed off her hands. “Where is the smell coming from?”

“The breeze is coming from that direction,” Yato pointed down a nearby junky alley, phone already in his hand.

“You check the dumpster,” Hiyori said.

“No way, I got the dumpster last time.”

Hiyori groaned and covered her mouth and nose with her hand. She had to climb the outside of the dumpster to peer over the edge. Yato sidestepped her and walked deeper into the alley, gagging as the smell worsened. He swore quietly when he saw a white sneaker with a smear of red.

“Hiyori…”

“I’ve got it,” Hiyori said, jumping down from the side of the dumpster. “White male about twenty.”

“Wait what?” Yato asked, turning away from the shoe briefly to face her. She looked confused at the shock on his face.

“I...found the body, what’s wrong?”

Yato looked back at the white sneaker and then down at his feet, stepping carefully around the alley to get a better look. He sighed when he saw the foot was attached to an unmoving body.

“Damn,” he said. “I’ve also got a body.” Hiyori groaned, then lifted her phone to her ear. She turned away to make the call while Yato crouched down to get a better look.

“Hello dispatch this is Detective Iki, my partner and I found two bodies in an alley near seventy-fifth street while responding to a call.”

_What happened here?_ Yato wondered. One in the dumpster, one on the ground.

“Yato,” Hiyori called, “can you tell anything about that one?” Yato shook his head.

“I can’t tell, whoever they were, they’re facing away from me now, I don’t wanna move the body until CSU can get here.” Hiyori nodded and turned back to her call.

Yato got to his feet and looked around before noticing the building on his side had a fire escape. He jumped up and grabbed the ladder, pulling it down before climbing up to look over into the dumpster without disturbing the crime scene. Hiyori glanced over at him before replying to something dispatch said. His hand touched something wet and he looked down at it, grimacing when it was red.

“Hiyori,” he called, holding up his hand to her. She saw the blood and shook her head, then said something else to dispatch and hung up. “Looks like our crime scene is bigger than we thought,” he said.

“Well since you’re already up there why don’t you tell me what you see?”

“I see dead people,” he replied. Hiyori gave him an annoyed look.

“Alright, Alright, I see blood, someone's window, and a trail.” The blood led up the fire escape.

“Well don’t follow it on your own!” Hiyori said. “The captain has told you before, Yato, no going off on your own!”

“But the blood is still wet!” Yato protested. “What if I find the murderer at the end?”

“What if you get shot? Again?”

“Please, that happened once! The other time it was just debris! I’ll be fine! Backup is on its way. You stay down there and be sure no one messes with the crime scene.”

“Yato!” Yato ignored her and followed the blood trail, climbing up to the fifth floor, where he found a bloody handprint on the window.

“Hiyori, I think I found another crime scene!”

“Don’t go in!” She said.

“Don’t worry I won’t,” he said peering around carefully.

“What do you see?”

“Blood, signs of a struggle, I think I’m looking into the living room.”

“Great, you said you wanted something interesting. Here it is.”

“Now I feel kinda bad for saying that.”

* * *

 

“Alright everybody, settle down while Yato briefs us on the case,” Tenjin said, stepping aside to allow Yato to stand at the podium.

“Before he starts I just want to let everyone know that Yato wished for this,” Hiyori said, smirking at him.

“I did not!” Yato protested. “I said that I wanted something interesting to happen, not that I wanted to find two dead bodies!”

“So, you don’t think that two dead people are interesting?” Take asked.

“I feel like no matter what I say to that I’m going to look like a bad person,” Yato said.

“Good call,” Yukine interjected.

“Why are you even here?” Yato asked him, noticing the intern for the first time.

“I dunno,” Yukine replied. “I just saw people congregating.”

“Whatever,” Yato said, turning back to the screen showing crime scene photos. “This morning after we went to that super lame robbery and Hiyori ate street food from Downtown Edo-” a chorus of “ew”s took over the briefing room.

“What?” Hiyori asked, looking around indignantly. “Yato ate it too!”

“Yeah but we already know he’s disgusting,” Bishamon said, “you’re supposed to have standards.”

“ANYWAY, ten bucks says Hiyori is too sick to come into work tomorrow.”

“I’ve got twenty that says she’s has to duck out before the end of the day!” Kofuku replied.

“Can we get back to the briefing please?” Hiyori asked, looking annoyed.

“Alright, fine, so after Hiyori ate super gross corn dogs off the street-”

“You make it sound like they were on the ground!”

“We found two dead bodies in an alleyway next to our store where the super lame robbery took place.”

“Are the two crimes being investigated as related?” Kiun asked.

“We’re looking into the possibility, but there’s nothing that suggests a connection other than the location. While waiting for the CSU to get there I climbed onto the fire escape to look into the dumpster where one of the bodies was found without contaminating the crime scene-”

“And he still accidentally contaminated the crime scene,” Hiyori put in.

“Hey! This is my briefing, Hiyori, get your own! I _found_ another crime scene on the fire escape when I climbed up there to get a look in the dumpster. I followed the blood trail until its end and found a window with a bloody handprint on it. Inside there were signs of a struggle. CSU is there right now looking over the place to see what other evidence they can find.”

“Evidence you haven’t contaminated yet, you mean,” Bishamon said.

“I didn’t! I just touched the blood a little bit on accident!”

“Gross,” Yukine said. “What if you got a disease from it?”

“I didn’t get a disease, kid, that only works if the blood gets into an open wound!”

“Are you sure about that?”

“...No. Hiyori will you make me an appointment with your dad?”

“No. You’re a grown up do it yourself. Also, stop making appointments with my dad to ask for my hand in marriage, he’s a busy man he doesn’t have time to waste on you!”

“I’m a paying customer!”

“You’ve never paid your bill at our hospital and your insurance doesn’t cover ‘lonely and desperate.’”

“Oh, _burn_ ,” Bishamon said, leaning forward to high five Hiyori. Yato pouted.

“You guys are so mean.”

“Is there anything else about the _case_ that we need to know, Yato?” Tenjin asked, exasperated.

“Nope, just that Hiyori is definitely going to be sick tomorrow and it’s karma for being mean to me in briefings.”

“Go sit down,” Tenjin said, stepping back in front of the podium as Yato plopped into the empty seat next to Hiyori. “Alright team, I want all hands-on deck for this one, a double homicide never looks good on the headlines and Mayor Ameratsu is already on my back to get this one solved quickly.”

* * *

* * *

 

“Yato? Where’s Hiyori?”

“She’s home sick with food poisoning today, Captain. I’m heading over during my lunch hour to bring her my Magic Feel Better Smoothie and some soup.” Kofuku walked from her desk and dropped twenty dollars on Yato’s desk. He grinned at her.

“And you’re totally fine, even though you ate the same food?” Yukine asked.

“I have a steel stomach,” Yato said. “Hiyori though…” he made a pained face then turned back to his computer.

“Alright, I want you to take Detective Kazuma out and knock on doors in the apartment building and see if any of the other tenants heard anything.”

“Alright, door duty!” Yato cried, pumping his fists in the air and spinning around in his chair.

“You are the only person alive who enjoys door duty that much,” Bishamon said.

“Aww, come on, you get to meet some of the best people!”

“Some of the weirdest,” Daikoku said.

“You guys are just mean!” Kazuma got to his feet and put on his jacket and stood waiting for Yato to finish saying goodbye to Mickey the gerbil slash mouse. He refilled the water container then closed the drawer. “Alright let’s go meet the people of Edo!”

* * *

 

“That last lady was scary,” Yato said, eyes wide. Kazuma nodded.

“I’ve never known anyone to scream that openly and fearlessly into the faces of detectives she didn’t even know.”

“What did the E-P-D ever do to her?”

“I don’t know, we should ask Viina when she gets back, I don’t speak Spanish.”

“I heard the word ‘zapatos’ which I think means shoes.”

“Why would she be yelling at us about shoes?” Kazuma asked. Yato shrugged.

“I don’t know, but I’m glad she stopped.”

Kazuma reached out and knocked on the door, and Yato screamed when he saw who answered. Kazuma shot him an alarmed look.

“ _TOMONE?_ ” Yato cried, looking incredulous.

“Yato?” The woman shouted, face going quickly from shock to fury. “What the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you get my address?”

“Why the hell do you live here?” Yato snapped, looking irritable. “Of course, you have to live in the same building as my murder!”

“ _Your_ murder? Did you finally kill someone? Living up to your father’s reputation?” Yato prepared to make a snappy retort, but Kazuma stepped in in a rare show of temper.

“I don’t know who the hell you are, but we’re detectives with the Edo Police Department, and we’re here to talk about a double homicide that occurred in this building last night.”

“Kazuma, meet my ex-girlfriend, Tomone, you never had the _displeasure_ of meeting her before.”

“This is _that_ Tomone?”

“Yup. Isn’t she lovely?” She glared at Yato then turned a pleasant smile on Kazuma.

“I’m so sorry Officer, I’m not very reasonable when I’m around _him_ ,” the word dripped venom.

“It’s Detective, actually, and you’ll have to contain yourself. We have a few questions.”

“Of course.” She kept her eyes fixed on Kazuma, and Yato looked anywhere but at her while Kazuma asked the questions.

“Were you home around ten o’clock last night?”

“Yes, I was watching a movie with my new _boyfriend_ ,” she said.

“Great, maybe he did it.”

“Yato,” Kazuma snapped. Yato threw his hands in the air and turned away.

“We were together all night. We were watching an action movie.”

“Did you hear anything suspicious? Was there arguing or a lot of loud noises?”

“I didn’t hear anything, and if I did I probably assumed it was part of our movie, I’m sorry.”

“No, thank you for your time,” Kazuma said, backing away. She sent Yato a dirty look before closing the door. He blew a raspberry at the closed door and stalked away, back stiff. Kazuma jogged to catch up to him.

“I can’t _believe_ she said that to you,” Kazuma said. Yato stopped and turned to him, smiling.

“I can’t _believe_ you snapped at a civilian!” Kazuma sighed as Yato threw his arms around his neck.

“Well it was rude,” Kazuma said, patting Yato on the head. “You two are on pretty bad terms.” Yato nodded.

“Yeah, we started seeing each other a few months after the trial, when Hiiro was away.”

“Ohh,” Kazuma said, understanding. “How is Hiiro, by the way?”

“Good, her grades are going up, the counselor at that school is really helping her.”

“Has she adjusted to boarding school?” Yato nodded.

“She’s made some friends there, and she’s coming home for the holidays.”

“That’s great!” Yato grinned.

“I’m excited!” Kazuma smiled at the bright grin Yato was wearing, apparently unaffected by the comment Tomone had made about his father. Kazuma looked around.

“I think that’s everyone on this floor, we should go up one more.” Yato nodded.

* * *

 

“E-P-D open up!” Yato said. A man covered in blood opened the door.

“Oh my god,” Kazuma said, reaching to help him with one hand and for his gun with the other, unsure of how to react with so little information.

“Oh, hey, don’t worry, it’s corn syrup, I’m planning a prank for my boyfriend, I’m gonna make him think I’m dead.”

“Do you want him to leave you?” Yato asked, eyeing the corn syrup warily.

“No, why? Do you think it’s too much?”

“Absolutely.” Yato answered.

“Alright, hey thanks for the save man,” The man said, then closed the door behind him.

* * *

 

“Edo Police, open the door please,” Kazuma said.

Yato’s jaw dropped and his eyes filled with delight when the man who lived there opened the door wearing a three-piece suit and a cowboy hat. He had a _very_ long handlebar mustache.

“Hello sir, we’re with the Edo police-”

“You already said that.”

“Right, sorry, we’re here to ask you if you heard anything strange last night around ten o’clock.”

“I’m afraid not, I just got back into town this morning, I was out on my ranch. My best horse has been ill these past few days, and my stable hand thought it’d be good for her to see me again.”

“What’s your horses name?” Yato asked, unable to stop himself.

“Mouse. My daughter named her when she was just a yungin.”

“That’s an amazing name for a horse.” Yato said.

“Why thank you for saying so!”

“Thank you so much for your time,” Kazuma interrupted. “And if you think of anything else please, stop by the ninety-ninth precinct.”

“Of course.” The man closed the door and Yato turned his delighted expression towards Kazuma.

“Isn’t door duty the _best_?”

* * *

 

Yato let himself into Hiyori’s apartment with the key he’d had made and announced his presence, and the fact that he’d brought food. He set his food on the table and followed the sound of retching to the bathroom, where Hiyori was kneeling on the ground in front of the toilet.

“I told you,” he sighed, pulling her hair back and using the hair bow on his wrist to tie it up out of her face.

“I was _hungry_ ,” she moaned, glaring at him from the corner of her eye.

Yato reached behind her to the sink and switched it on, grabbing a wash rag and wetting it. He passed it to her and she wiped her mouth, shooting him an annoyed look.

“I hate that you can eat anything.” Yato shrugged grinning. “How’s the case?”

“Great! I got assigned door duty!”

“I’m so happy for you, did you take Kazuma?” Yato nodded. “Find anyone cool?”

“I saw a guy in a three-piece suit with a cowboy hat and a handlebar mustache! He told me about his horse named Mouse!”

“You’re joking!”

“I’m not! It happened, and you can ask Kazuma!”

“Anyone else?” Yato grimaced.

“You’re not going to believe who lived in that building.”

“Who?”

“Tomone.”

“Your ex-girlfriend? The one you dated after _him_?” Yato nodded. He leaned back against the wall, staring up at the stained stucco ceiling.

“Yeah, I told her there was a murder and she asked if I did it, and said I was turning out like my dad.”

“That’s _horrible_.”

“Yeah, but you know how things ended between us, I guess I can’t blame her, I yelled when I first saw her too.”

“But did you say anything that nasty?”

“No.”

“Well there you go.”

“Kazuma yelled at her for it though,” Yato said, smiling, “so it was worth it to get to see that. He didn’t even know who she was at first either, because they never met.”

“Wow,” Hiyori commented, turning her head to spit into the toilet, “I bet that made you happy.” Yato nodded.

“After that we met the handlebar mustache guy and I forgot about it until just now. Kazuma asked about Hiiro, too.”

“She’s coming home for the holidays, right?” Yato nodded. Hiyori smiled. “I’m glad. You’ll bring her by the station, right?”

“Of course.” Hiyori turned her head and retched again, but her stomach was too empty to expel anything. Yato sat up and rubbed her back soothingly.

“I brought soup and my Magic Feel Better Smoothie, and the case file, if you’re feeling up to it.”

“Maybe later, if I live that long, I feel like I’m dying.”

“You’re not dying, here,” Yato said, helping her to her feet, “let’s get you laying down and I’ll heat up the soup. Remember to drink the smoothie slowly so you don’t overwhelm your stomach.”

“My dad _is_ a doctor, you know,” she said.

“And yet you still eat street food.”

“Shut up.”

Yato escorted her to the couch where he tucked her under a quilt he had made, with love notes in the quilting, and dropped the case files within her reach. He then went into the kitchen and turned the stove on and dumped the soup into one of Hiyori’s pans. The smoothie he took out of his cooler bag and put a bendy straw and little umbrella in before taking it over to Hiyori, who had already opened one of the case files and was flipping through it.

“See anything you like?” Yato joked.

“Hmm,” she replied. Ignoring him as he pressed the back of his hand to her forehead to check her temperature.

“You’re a little warm.”

“So the second victim was a woman, older than the boy we found in the dumpster, were they in a relationship?”

“We don’t know yet, but the woman was married, Bishamon is questioning the husband now.” Hiyori shot him a curious look.

“Aren’t you lead on this one, why aren’t you doing the interview?”

“Because I have a partner to take care of, and she’s scarier than me anyway.” Hiyori’s lips quirked into a small smile.

“You’re right, she’s plain terrifying, but you’ve got some scary in you too.”

Yato returned to the kitchen to check on the soup while Hiyori asked him questions about the case.

“Did door duty turn up anything useful?”

“You mean other than a revisit of my unfortunate dating life?”

“Yes, other than that?”

“We had one or two people who said they heard arguing.”

“Nothing else?”

“Nope. Tomone has a new boyfriend.”

“Maybe he did it.”

“That’s exactly what I said but Kazuma got mad at me!”

The soup heated to boiling and Yato took it off the heat and poured it into a ceramic bowl. He grabbed a spoon and stirred it around a bit, blowing on it, before returning to Hiyori’s side. He snatched an empty garbage can in case Hiyori needed to barf again and then settled on the ground in front of the couch near her waist. He set the soup on the coffee table as she took a sip of her smoothie.

“You’ll have to wait a while on the soup, it’s really hot.” Hiyori nodded.

“The prints on the bloody handprint, do they match either of the victims?”

“No, I think they’re probably from the killer.”

“They look pretty big, I think they’re a man’s handprint. Twenty bucks says it’s the husband and Bisha will have cracked him by the time you get back.”

“Twenty says this case isn’t that simple and the husband really is innocent.”

“You’re on.”

“If I win I’m buying _so many_ of those four cheese melty buns!” Hiyori groaned.

“Your diet is a travesty.” Yato grinned at her.

“Do we have the victim’s phone records yet?”

“They’re in this other case file here.” Yato handed it to her and he took the one she was holding and opened it, flipping through the victim’s information. They sat for several minutes in companionable silence, Yato enjoying Hiyori’s heat at his back. After a few minutes he sampled the soup. “Alright, this is cool enough to eat, do you think you can stomach it?”

“Maybe a little.” She put down her case file and sat up slowly, using the arms of the couch for support. Once she was sitting Yato joined her on the couch and passed her the bowl.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to feed you?” He asked, smiling sweetly.

“No thanks,” she snapped, giving him a wary look. He sighed morosely and sat back, picking his file back up and perusing it. “I don’t know what it is about your Magic Feel Better Smoothie and soup, but it always works wonders.”

“It’s because it’s made with love!” She rolled her eyes but didn’t protest.

“Hey, look at this number, it’s not an Edo area code, and it called the male victim like ten times the night of the murders.”

“It says it belongs to someone named Evan Richards. Could he possibly have a more mundane name?”

“Not everyone can be ‘Starfish Pine’ Yato,” Hiyori said.

“Starfish Pine was a good one!” Yato reminisced. “I mean she was an arsonist, but what a cool name!” Hiyori rolled her eyes.

“I pity your kids, they’re all going to have ridiculous names like Vanilla Wafer or Central Park.”

“If I have a daughter I’m naming her Sakura and you know it!” He stuck his tongue out at her and hid his face behind his file.

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” He lowered his file again and smiled at her.

“Vanilla Wafer is still on the table for a boy, though.” Hiyori made a disgusted sound and threw her head back, chuckling. Yato’s phone rang and he answered it.

“What’s up, Kazuma?”

“Hey, are you with Hiyori?”

“Yeah, of course, why?”

“How’s she doing?”

“Alright, she’s stopped throwing up because there’s nothing left for her to puke, we’re trying to put new stuff in her stomach now and we’ll see in a bit how that works out.”

“Well tell her I said I hope she’s feeling better soon, and also the husband didn’t do it.” Yato let out a whoop of triumph and put his phone on speaker.

“Kazuma can you say that again?”

“...The husband didn’t do it? He has alibi and it checks out.”

“Yahoo!” Yato cheered, grinning at Hiyori.

“Why do I feel like you just won a bet?”

“Because he did,” Hiyori groaned. “And he’s going to blow all the money on junk food.”

“Of course, he is his diet is a travesty.”

“I’m right here you know,” Yato said.

“We know,” they replied together.

“Whatever, thanks for the info, is there anything else?”

“Only that the toxicology came back and both victims had been drinking but were below the legal limit.”

“Alright, thanks.”

“No problem.” Yato slid his phone back into his pocket and pulled out the crime scene photos.

“Look at this open wine bottle, I bet anything that these two were on a date and someone came in.”

“I think so too,” Hiyori said. “The killers handprint almost definitely belongs to a man, maybe the male victim had a boyfriend? Or the woman had a guy on the side?”

“I can go back to the apartment later with Kazuma and check for evidence of a partner.” Hiyori nodded and ate some more of the soup before setting it back on the table.

“Thanks for stopping by with your Magic Feel Better Smoothie and soup, Yato,” Hiyori said suddenly.

“No problem, you know I can’t stay away from you,” he winked exaggeratedly at her and she rolled her eyes.

“You can leave your key on the table on the way out.”

“I _could_ , I do have more at home.” Hiyori gave him a horrified look. “Look on the brightside, you’ll never be locked out of your apartment!”

“I guess so.”

Yato checked his watch, he still had thirty minutes left in his lunch break, and Hiyori lived pretty close to the station, so he could stand to stay later. He glanced around the apartment. Hiyori was usually pretty tidy, but she wasn’t feeling well enough to clean up after herself. While he was here he might as well do the dishes, and maybe the laundry. He got to his feet and began collecting the few dishes that had been left out and took them to the sink.

“What are you doing?” Hiyori asked.

“Helping,” Yato said. “You’re sick.”

“You don’t have to do that, really, it was nice enough of you to bring the soup and smoothie, you don’t need to clean up after me too.”

“I know, but I want to. You’ll feel better faster in a clean apartment. Are the dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty?”

“Clean, but really, Yato, you don’t have to.”

“I don’t mind,” he said. “You help out the people you love.” Hiyori’s cheeks turned faintly pink the way they did when he said something genuine about his feelings for her instead of his usual over the top gifts and confessions.

He hummed to himself while he emptied the dishwasher, glancing up every now and then to see Hiyori looking over the case files. He smiled, this was comfortable. He was more at home when he was with Hiyori than when he was with anyone else. He was overcome briefly with the longing for Hiiro to be here too, helping him with the dishes like the three of them were a family. _Maybe one day_ , he thought.

How long had he been in love with Hiyori for? Looking back, it seemed like he’d loved her all along, since the first day they met, but he’d been… otherwise occupied back then. He’d come to realize it after the trial and everything that happened with _him_ , when she’d been so kind and gentle, and he’d realized he couldn’t live without her. He’d tried a lot harder to win her affections then, whereas now he was just happy to be by her side. They’d settled into a comfortable rhythm, and she didn’t hold it against him when he slipped up and did something outrageous like sending out wedding invitations to her family. Well, that had actually made her _very_ mad. Yato chuckled.

“What’s so funny in there?” She asked.

“Do you remember the first time I asked you to marry me?” Yato replied, and Hiyori made a sound of outrage. “Still mad, huh?”

“In front of everyone! Why are you the way that you are?” Yato laughed harder and stopped loading the dishwasher, afraid he’d drop something.

“Oh, come on, it was a beautiful proposal!”

“And very, _very_ public! God, it felt like everyone in Edo was there! And they were all staring at me, some of them were even cheering ‘say yes’ it was horrible.”

“To be fair I didn’t _ask_ them to chant, they did that on their own.”

“My mom saw the video on YouTube, and she yelled at me for three hours over the phone for not telling her I was in a serious relationship.” Yato clapped a hand over his mouth.

“You never told me that!”

“Once I explained that you were just some weirdo stalker-”

“Suitor.”

“That I worked with I spent the next few hours convincing her not to come down here and file an official report with Tenjin. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to freak out. I’d already made you cry that week.”

“That’s very sweet of you.”

“I hide this quilt every time she comes over, so she won’t freak out again.”

“Probably for the best.” Yato closed the dishwasher and turned it on, then left the kitchen and began collecting dirty clothes off the floor and chairs.

“Yato really, the dishes were enough, you’ll be late for work.”

“I have enough time to start a load of laundry, Hiyori. Just stop fighting and let me take care of you.”

“I feel bad when you do all this for me,” she said.

“Then consider the twenty dollars I won in our bet payment for services rendered,” he said, disappearing into her bedroom.

Hiyori knew without having to look that when she got up and went to bed later that night she would find her bed made and pillows fluffed. She looked around the tidy apartment, unable to hear Yato bustling around in her room over the sound of the dishwasher but knowing that he was back there cleaning. She wasn’t sure what was more alarming, the fact that Yato was alone in her bedroom or the fact that she didn’t _actually_ feel alarmed by that.

There was once a time when Yato being in her apartment and going through her laundry would have felt like a horrible invasion of privacy, but now it just felt _right_. She had been startled by the ease at which she relaxed into the role of being taken care of, working through her illness while Yato did household chores. She could almost see Hiiro standing beside him drying dishes as he washed them, and that scared her. Having Yato around had become simply part of her life, one that she wasn’t sure she could do without anymore, and she was beginning to imagine what it would be like if this were her life every day.

She shook the thought away. She couldn’t be having these thoughts about _Yato_. Not again. She’d started feeling them shortly after the trial when he’d been so broken and destitute, and he’d _needed_ her, but not in the way he’d imagined. He hadn’t needed another romantic entanglement then, he’d needed a friend, so she’d buried her feelings down deep and forgot all about them for a time. She couldn’t be having them after so long of saying no, because what if she said _yes_ and then things didn’t work out? He’d be crushed, and she couldn’t crush him after he’d been through so much and finally started to be okay again. He deserved better.

Still though, the sound of him humming as he did the dishes had brought an involuntary smile to her face and had done far more than his Magic Feel Better Smoothie. She heard the dryer turn on, and the washing machine a few moments later. She waited for him to come back through the door and say something ridiculous before leaving, but he didn’t.

Curiously she got to her feet and wrapped the love note quilt around herself before making her way slowly into her bedroom. She found Yato kneeling on the ground, humming, and folding her clothes. She didn’t bother to wonder how he’d known which of her clothes she preferred folded and which she wanted hung, she was sure he’d been through everything, and probably taken a few things while he was at it. He glanced up when she entered the room and smiled.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah.” He went back to folding, separating the clothes into stacks before he finished and began putting everything in its proper place. “Give it back,” she said tiredly.

“Give what back?”

“Whatever it is you took. Underwear, a dress, put it where you found it.”

“I didn’t-”

“Yato,” she interrupted in a scolding tone. He grinned sheepishly and pulled a tank top out of his pocket.

“Sorry.” Hiyori sighed.

“Just put it back.” He folded it neatly and placed it in the drawer before closing it. “You’re hopeless.” Yato shrugged. He checked his watch.

“Well I better go, don’t wanna be late with the captain breathing down my neck. Those case files are yours, I have copies at the station” When he brushed past her in the doorway he ducked down and kissed the top of her head. She punched him lightly on the shoulder, ignoring the way her heart hammered, hoping he would attribute the blush she felt rising in her cheeks to her fever.

“Get plenty of rest,” he called when he closed the door. Hiyori collapsed against the wall and pressed a hand against her pounding heart.

* * *

* * *

 

“Hiyori,” Tenjin said, “I didn’t expect you to be back so soon! When Yato said you had food poisoning yesterday I thought you’d be out for the rest of the week.”

“It’s the Magic Feel Better Smoothie, Captain, it’s magic,” Yato said proudly. Hiyori shrugged.

“I’d love to argue with him, but it never fails,” Hiyori said.

“What’s in this magic smoothie?” Yukine asked, looking up from his work.

“It’s the ‘Magic Feel Better Smoothie’ and I’m not telling you,” Yato said. “It’s a secret family recipe.”

“I think he’s making that part up,” Hiyori said.

“I think so too,” Kazuma said. “He never talked about it when we were kids.”

“Well I didn’t know about it then!” Kazuma rolled his eyes and turned back to his work, his back still perfectly straight.

Yato opened the top left drawer of his desk to say hello to Mickey and refill his food and water. He reached over and stroked his head softly a few times while he ate. The drawer was set up pretty well, for a desk drawer, Hiyori had insisted that if Mickey were going to live there he have ample room to play. Yato had wasted several work days collecting tax payer dollars fixing it up. He’d rigged the drawer to be deeper, so it would have a running wheel and a small habitat for him to crawl around in. There was also a small light, so he wouldn’t have to be in the dark all the time. The bottom of the drawer was lined with newspapers and pine chips that were changed once a week. One of the conditions of Mickey’s residency was that Yato keep the drawer clean.

“Oh wow,” Yukine said, peering over his shoulder, “I just thought you had a rat in a drawer, but he’s actually got a pretty sweet rig in there, hasn’t he?” Yato nodded proudly.

“Hiyori made me do it, and now I’m happy, I think Mickey really likes living here.”

“Why wouldn’t he? He’s got it made, he never has to hunt for food or water, it’s all right there for him.”

“Do you want to pet him?” Yato asked. “I have hand sanitizer here, you have to use it after you touch them even though he’s had all his shots.”

“Um, I think I’ll pass,” Yukine said, stepping back and holding out a file to Yato. “Uh, the guy you asked for is in interrogation room one.”

“Oh! Hiyori! I found the male victims boyfriend; do you want to interrogate him with me?”

“Oh, I’m not really up to one hundred percent yet, maybe I should just watch from the viewing room. Take Bisha, you guys do bad cop worse cop.”

“I thought it was good cop bad cop,” Yukine said.

“Not with Viina and Yato. He may not seem like it, but Yato can be pretty scary,” Kazuma said, shuffling some papers. “Try starting out nice, though Yato. I think I’ll watch as well, you should come, Yukine.”

“Cool,” Yukine said.

“Good cop bad cop _then_ bad cop bad cop, I like it,” Yato said. “Even if I don’t like _her_.” He stuck his tongue out at Bishamon.

“Die,” she said simply, getting up from her desk and pulling on her green military style jacket.

“You two get along well,” Yukine muttered.

“They’ve never gotten along,” Kazuma told him. “We all went to school together, they used to get into a fight once a week.”

“So how are they supposed to work together if they hate each other?”

“There’s something special about your bond with people you’ve known your whole life. Even if you hate them, you know them better than anyone. Those two at least trust each other to do their jobs, and that kind of trust layered on top of their long relationship is a powerful thing, when they can manage to get along that is.”

* * *

 

“So, Mister Richards,” Yato said, smiling sweetly at the man. “How are you today?”

“Um, bad,” Richards said, casting an uneasy glance at Bishamon and the glare she was fixing on him. He edged away from her and Yato thought that maybe he wouldn’t even need to turn on his scary face, Bishamon had barely dialed her scary up to a four and the suspect was already squirming to get away from her.

“I understand, you recently found out that your boyfriend was cheating on you, is that right?”

“Yeah, also that he died? I’m not thrilled about that either.”

“Really?” Bishamon rumbled, sitting back in her seat and crossing her legs. “I would think you’d be happy, I mean, after all, that cheating bastard is dead.”

“That’s a horrible thing to say, Ma’am.” Richards said.

“Yes, it is, Detective, you should be ashamed of yourself,” Yato agreed. Bishamon kicked him under the table.

* * *

 

Kazuma groaned.

“Can’t they just cooperate for five minutes without fighting?”

“They just need to get back into their groove,” Hiyori said faithfully, “they can do it, it’s just been a while since they’ve had to work together.”

“I hope you’re right,” Kazuma said. “This guy's alibi didn’t check out, all we need is a confession. If they screw it up and we have to release him he’s in the wind.”

“Wow, you guys sure have a lot riding on this,” Yukine said. “I hope you chose your team wisely.”

“We did, Yukine. Kazuma, have a little faith in your best friend.”

* * *

 

“I think you’re being too harsh, Detective,” Yato said, “this guy has just gone through a trauma. Remember when my last relationship ended badly, and I was devastated for a week?”

“You mean when you curled up outside Hiyori’s door for a week crying and she had to exit her apartment through the fire escape?” Bishamon jabbed. Yato made a face, he hadn’t meant for her to bring up real events. Rude.

“ _Yes_ ,” and now the suspect was looking at him like he was insane.

“Dude…” He said.

“What I was trying to say _is:_ this guy must be in so much pain right now and you’re being mean to him! I mean I’m just _thinking_ about losing my precious Tomone and I’m already tearing up!” Yato’s lower lip began to quiver.

“Ugh, here we go again, on and on about Tomone.”

* * *

 

“Finally,” Kazuma said, smiling in relief. Hiyori sighed happily.

“See I _told_ you it would work out,” She said.

“Um, are you guys watching the same interrogation as me?” Yukine asked. “It looks to me like Yato just broke down crying in front of a suspect.”

“Because he has a plan,” Kazuma said. “Yato can cry on command.”

“Either that or he’s really neurotic, no one knows for sure,” Hiyori added. Kazuma nodded.

“How do you know he isn’t just freaking out about his break up, then?” Yukine asked.

“Because he _hates_ Tomone,” Kazuma said. “We saw her the other day and all they did was fight.

“ _And_ when he trapped me in my apartment for a week crying I had just refused his fifth marriage proposal, after he broke up with Tomone he broke into _Kazuma’s_ apartment to cry, not mine.”

“Um, that really happened? I thought she was just messing around.”

“Nope, that happened.”

“Are you guys sure this guy shouldn’t be in some sort of mental health facility?” Yukine asked. Hiyori laughed.

“Probably.”

“Just watch,” Kazuma said.

As the three watched Yato descended further into hysterics, moaning Tomone’s name and sobbing, crocodile tears pouring down his face. Yukine grimaced. Yato threw himself forward onto the table, crying loudly.

“I’m so sorry for you, you must be feelling so much worse than me. I can still see her if I want to, but your boyfriend is dead! Gone forever! You’ll never see him ever again or hold him or get to watch him sleep and laugh because he looks cute when he’s dreaming! I’m so _sorry_.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry for my partner, he’s an idiot.”

“Um, sir, really, stop crying. Please. I’m not that sad, really, so you don’t have to be sad for me. I’ll be fine, and you will be too, don’t worry. She probably wasn’t good enough for you anyway.”

All at once Yato stopped sobbing and sat up, wiping his face on a tattered handkerchief. It was thanks to the layout of the interrogation room, with Yato and Bishamon facing the two-way mirror, that Yukine was able to absorb the full effect of Yato’s change.

“Huuuh?” He asked, eyes solidifying into rings of arctic ice, burning Yukine with their cold. “I thought you said you were doing badly, like any sane person would be. Your boyfriend just died, you should be devastated. Why aren’t you devastated?” Richards recoiled as far back as his chair would allow. Yukine felt like taking a step back as well.

“Because he killed him and his mistress, that’s why.”

“He _was_ cheating on you, being cheated on is awful, isn’t it?” Somehow Yato made the words sound like a threat. Yukine pitied Mister Richards, with both Bishamon and Yato swooping down on him, looking like feral lions ready for the kill.

“Why aren’t you sad?” Bishamon snapped, pounding a fist on the metal table. Her fist left a dent.

“Because he got what he deserved!” Richards said, startled.

“And you’re the one who gave it to him, weren’t you?” Yato hissed, lips twisted into a nasty smile. “You caught that bastard with his _whore_ and then you snapped.”

“It wasn’t the first time! He’s been cheating on me with anything that moved! Hell, he probably slept with the two of you!”

“So, you killed him,” Bishamon said.

“That’s right! And I’m glad I did it!” Yato and Bishamon sat back in their uncomfortable steel chairs and fist bumped, looking smug. Hiyori punched the air and Kazuma let out a sigh of relief.

“W-wait!” Richards said. “I want a lawyer!”

“It’s a little late for that, dumbass,” Bishamon said, heading to the door of the interrogation room.

Hiyori and Kazuma went into the hallway to meet them with congratulations.

“What’s the matter, Yato? You got the guy,” Hiyori asked when she saw the look of distaste on Yato’s face.

“I used the W word.” Bishamon bent low and swiped Yato’s legs out from under him. He crashed to the ground, head cracking painfully against the tile. The other three winced.

“There, your penance.”

“I know you did that to be mean, but actually I feel a lot better now, thank you.”

 


	2. Dog Fraud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unlocking a bit of Yato's Tragic Backstory(tm) towards the end of this chapter. Also it hasn't really been proofread and it's 11 at night I just wanted to get this chapter up I'm sorry if this sucks XD

“Look what I found on YouTube, Yato,” Yukine said, holding out his phone and smirking evilly.

“What?” Yato took the phone and lit up with delight. Yukine furrowed his brow in confusion. “Everybody guess what Yukine found!” He shouted.

“What’s that?” Kazuma asked.

“A video of my third proposal to Hiyori! We should all watch it together in the briefing room, I’ve never been able to find a video of it before!” Yukine looked around, surprised to see everyone nodding in agreement. He’d found this video to be mean to Yato, it had actually been quite hard, and he couldn’t understand why he wasn’t embarrassed.

“That’s because I filed take down requests on all of them!” Hiyori said, “I was trying to keep my mom from seeing it, I don’t believe I missed one!”

“What’s going on?” Tenjin asked, leaving his office at the commotion.

“Yukine found a video of my third proposal to Hiyori!”

“That was nice of him,” Tenjin said, giving Yukine an approving nod.

“What?” Yukine asked disbelievingly.

“Let’s do it and rate it,” Take suggested. His suggestion was followed by a series of enthusiastic ‘yeah’s and a mass migration to the briefing room where there was a large flat screen television for a better viewing experience.

Once they were all piled into the conference room, with Yato and Hiyori in the seats of honor and the rest of them were sitting with white boards in their hands ready to write down their scores. Even Tenjin was participating while a very confused Yukine pulled up the video on the monitor.

“Wait a minute, this video is titled ‘idiot gets rekt after failed marriage proposal’ is there going to be any footage of the actual proposal or is this just a video of Hiyori yelling at him?” Kazuma asked.

“I still want to watch it if it is,” Take said.

“I didn’t yell _that_ much,” Hiyori protested, looking faintly uncomfortable.

“Yato cried,” Kazuma reminded her.

“Yato always cries. He cried this morning because Mickey licked his finger.”

“THEY WERE SWEET MOUSE KISSES BECAUSE HE LOVES ME!” Yato cried. Hiyori made an ‘I told you so’ face at Kazuma.

“Okay everyone shut up, the movie is starting,” Bishamon said. Yukine hit play and Yato’s face lit up at the first frame.

“Yes!” He whispered. “It’s the whole thing!”

A street violin player changed songs abruptly at Hiyori as she walked past, laughing at a joke Yato had told. She looked at the violin player curiously, then looked at Yato suspiciously. She opened her mouth to say something, but he spun away, looking delighted. Hiyori crossed her arms and frowned, unamused, obviously aware of what was happening. To everyone’s delight except her own, Yato started singing.

“It’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do…”

“Cliché song choice, Minus three!” Bishamon called.

“It was new at the time!”

“Your singing isn’t as horrible as I expected, plus one half,” Take said.

Yato stripped off his jacket and cast it to the side, revealing a sequined vest and broke into a choreographed dance with the violin player. Hiyori’s face was obviously burning even on the shaky camera footage, though when Yukine looked from the on-screen Hiyori to the lady in question in real life he saw she was trying to conceal a small smile, whereas Yato was grinning proudly.

“You were very enthusiastic,” she said gently.

A crowd gathered around Yato and the dancer, and several smartphones were held up recording, but Yato paid them no heed, he had eyes only for Hiyori, though he seemed oblivious to Hiyori’s discomfort. She turned to leave, but a wall of people blocked her path. Yato took her by the hand and spun her around. As he dropped to one knee four people holding a large bird cage rushed forward and released doves into the air. They took flight right as Yato asked the question.

“Will you marry me?”

“Nice effect, Yato,” Daikoku said, sounding impressed.

“Doves are very classy, plus three,” Tenjin added.

“No,” the Hiyori on the video said, loud and slow as if to make sure Yato understood. She looked _livid_.

“Now we’re getting to the good part,” Bishamon said, rubbing her hands together.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Yato? Proposing _again?_ Do you want me to report you to HR? How would that look on your record, or to social workers trying to decide if you are a suitable guardian for your younger sister? This needs to _stop_ and you need to focus on Hiiro and stop chasing after me!” Hiyori was shouting now, pointing an angry finger in the devastated Yato’s face.

“You _know_ that these proposals are going to be shot down, and you still _waste_ money on them. Didn’t you tell me just a few days ago you were worried about how much the school the psychologist recommended for Hiiro cost? How many times do I have to tell you that _we’re never getting married_ for you to get it? How much money that you could have been saving for Hiiro did you spend on this? _Doves,_ Yato?”

“This is brutal,” Kiun winced.

“Now I feel bad for looking forward to this part,” Take said.

“I may have gone overboard…” Hiyori admitted. Yato in real life was wearing a pained expression as he watched his own face crumple on the video.

“This is _irresponsible_ and _inconsiderate_!” She hesitated when Yato’s shoulders started shaking. Presumably he was crying, but it was impossible to tell from the video. When she resumed speaking her voice was gentler. “Yato, stop crying, this isn’t a decent way for a police officer to behave, especially not one who is a single dad. Be someone your sister can look up to.” That had been exactly the wrong thing to say, because Yato let out a high-pitched wail. Hiyori sighed and dragged Yato to his feet and away from the crowd. The video ended when she elbowed her way through the mob and out of sight.

“Damn Hiyori,” Take said.

“I felt that all the way over here. Now I feel bad for not being nicer to you after that happened,” Kazuma said, giving Yato a sympathetic look.

“She was right though, I _did_ spend too much money on that proposal. I started going more economical after that.”

“I liked it!” Bishamon declared, to no one’s surprise. “You were _brutal_!”

“You’re pretty scary, Hiyori,” Yukine chimed in.

“I _am_ sorry I was so harsh. I was really embarrassed but I should have been more patient.”

“There’s always proposal number seven!”

“Oh God no,” Hiyori groaned, looking ill. “ _Please_ tell me you haven’t already started planning.” Yato flashed her his most innocent smile but she did not fall for it. “ _Yato…_ ”

“I can’t spoil the surprise!” He said, eyes lighting up. “I should go for doves again since money isn’t as tight now!”

“Don’t you _dare_!” Hiyori said, pointing a warning finger in his face. Yato looked from Hiyori’s eyes to the tip of her finger, then back to her face, smile never wavering. “Yato I’m not saying no and meaning yes, I’m saying no and _meaning_ no!”

“Okay,” Yato said, but didn’t stop smiling. Hiyori did not like that look one bit.

“Kazuma, you’d tell me if Yato was planning another proposal, right?”

“Nope, we made a blood pact in elementary.”

“Ew!” Kuin protested.

“You mixed blood? Seriously? What is wrong with you?”

“It was the week before we watched the aids video!” Kazuma defended, “We didn’t know any better! Besides, we were kids, it’s not like he had any diseases.”

“You made a blood pact in elementary to never tell when Yato was going to propose to Hiyori? How long has he been in love with her?” Yukine asked.

“Not that long!” Yato snapped.

“No, we made a promise to always be best friends, there was a whole set of rules and everything. I saw it in _Huckleberry Finn_.”

“And how long did it take Yato to break all of the rules?” Take asked, sounding amused.

“He didn’t,” Kazuma replied seriously. “It was a blood pact.”

“Wait, what?” Bishamon asked. “He’s seriously never broken one? Yato never follows any rules.”

“They’re not rules, they’re promises!”

“So, neither of you have ever broken any of the rules you made way back when you were kids?” Hiyori asked in disbelief. Yato and Kazuma shot each other a loaded look and seemed to come to a wordless agreement.

“Yup,” Yato said at the same time Kazuma replied “that’s right” and then they both got to their feet and hurried out of the briefing room, leaving through different exits.

“Wait, what?” Bishamon asked.

“Did what I think just happened happen?” Kiun asked.

“How strange,” Tenjin said thoughtfully.

“Does that mean Kazuma broke one of the promises?” Yukine asked.

* * *

 

“How _could_ they?” Yato whined, “they’re _evil_ and they deserve to rot in prison!”

“Good thing that’s what we’re here for,” Kazuma said, patting Yato on the shoulder. “We’re trying to make sure that happens. We’re the police, it’s our job.”

“Well we better get these guys!”

“We’ll do our best, Yato. They’ll have the full force of the EPD coming down on them,” Tenjin said.

“ _Anyway_ ,” Bishamon continued, rolling her eyes, “We’ve been tracing this animal trafficking ring for months and finally we’ve got a solid lead. We’re going to need everyone’s help to take these guys down. Take and Kiun, I want you staking out their last known base of operations. Kazuma and I are going to interview the people who bought dogs with falsified papers, which is how we got our only solid lead. Yato and Hiyori you guys are going to trace the fake papers and find out where they’re coming from.”

“We’ll get them!” Yato cried, “they’re going to jail for being mean and dog fraud!” The entire room groaned, and Tenjin dismissed the meeting.

“What? Dog fraud is a thing!”

* * *

 

“I don’t know enough about dog certifications to know what is wrong with these. Do we have authentic papers to compare them too?” Yato asked, holding the falsified documents up to the light.

“I called the American Kennel Club and they’re sending some over, they should be here after lunch.”

“You’re so smart.”

“Thank you.”

“Where do you even go to say your dog is purebred or…” he paused to peer down at his case file, “not a cat.”

“For the cat thing I would say kindergarten, but you get Pedigrees through the American Kennel Club. They’re sending information about the process with the paperwork.”

“Petigrease?”

“Pedigrees with a D. You have to have one for your dog to participate in dog shows for money.”

“Hiiro and I watch the Thanksgiving on every year!”

“That’s sweet.”

“Maybe I should buy her a puppy.”

“Maybe you should wait until she is living with you full time, so she doesn’t miss her puppy growing up.”

“You’re right… but we still don’t know when that might be.”

“What happened? I thought she was doing better.”

“She _was_ ,” Yato sighed, leaning back in his chair and throwing down his pen. “But she attacked her roommate. I have to drive up Thursday for a parent teacher conference.”

“She _attacked_ her roommate? She hasn’t had a violent fit in years! I thought she was past that, what’s going on?”

“I thought so too, but she’s been dodging my calls, and when she does pick up she says, ‘everything is fine, Yato.’ Like I’m going to believe that.”

“Could she be starting another cult?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know why she’d be getting into fights over it, she was pretty slick about it last time, remember it was one of the others that blew the whole operation last time.”

“When is the last time you went to see her? Maybe she’s lashing out to get your attention.”

“Maybe, I’m driving up after work Wednesday and taking off Thursday and Friday to spend time with her. The headmaster told me the school is having a cultural festival and it’s open to the public.”

“The headmaster told you? Not Hiiro?”

“Yeah,” Yato replied. “I don’t know why she didn’t tell me. When I get up there I’m going to try to get at what’s wrong.”

“I hope you work everything out with her, and that this doesn’t affect her coming home.”

“Thanks, but do me a favor and don’t tell anyone, okay? I don’t want to worry everyone until I know what’s going on.”

“Yato, of course I’ll keep it to myself if that’s what you want, but you’ve got to know we’re always worried about Hiiro, she’s a part of the family.” Yato smiled gratefully.

“Thanks, I’d rather not distract everyone from the case right now. If it turns out to be a big deal, I’ll let everyone know when I get back.”

“Does Kazuma know? Is not keeping secrets in that blood pact of yours?”

“Of course, Kazuma knows, he was the first person I told.”

“So, you’ve _really_ never broken one of the rules from the blood pact?”

“It was a promise, Hiyori.”

“You’ve broken plenty of promises before.”

“Not this one.”

“And there’s no way that you’ll confirm or deny if _Kazuma_ broke one of them, right?” Yato tapped his nose and winked at her. “Thought so.”

“So, what are we going to do while we wait for the paperwork from the AKC? I have no idea what a pedigree is supposed to look like!” Yato said.

“I don’t really know, desktop football?” Yato’s face lit up.

“You dare to challenge the reigning champion?”

“Oh, I dare alright,” Hiyori said, a challenge in her voice.

They stared each other down silently for thirty seconds, each sizing the other up. Thirty seconds of silence passed before the storm when they both leapt into action, shoving files and other office clutter to the side. Yato very nearly knocked his monitor onto the floor, but it was saved by Hiyori.

“That’s one point to me!” She exclaimed.

“No way!”

“Yes way! I just saved you from having to pay for this! One point to me!”

“Fine.”

“I get the ball first!”

“Fine!” Yato retrieved one of the many paper footballs from his desk drawer and tossed it to Hiyori, who promptly tossed it back.

“Nope, it’s definitely a rainbow flowers day.”

“How could I have not realized?” He retrieved the football he’d made with leftover scrapbook paper. He flicked the new football to her and she caught it between her chest and hand.

“Nailed it,” she said. Yato shot her a thumbs up. Hiyori dropped into her commentator voice. “Alright, it’s one and oh, Hiyori won the lead early with the magnificent and heroic save of the computer monitor as Yato struggled to save his dignity and title as reigning champion.” Yato snorted with laughter, then spoke in his own commentator voice.

“Will Hiyori manage to defeat the reigning champion after fifty-seven consecutive and _fantastic_ losses? She has proven herself to have less than no hand eye coordination and frankly _sad_ battle strategies. She would have to overcome _overwhelming_ odds in order to secure a victory here today against the amazingly skilled Yato of the Edo Police Department.”

“Yato does not realize that his ego will be his downfall,” Hiyori ducked down and narrowed her eyes at Yato, who was smirking mischievously at her. “I don’t know what you’re planning, punk, but you’re going to eat my dust.”

“What is it, nineteen-fifty-nine? Who says punk? I’ll beat you and I’ll talk like a normal person while I do it!”

“No way! I’ve been planning this game since the last time you beat me!”

“So, since last week.”

“A whole week of planning!”

“Like, six days I think.”

“Quit nitpicking me, Yato! You’re distracting me from my impending victory!”

“If you can’t handle a little trash talk then you don’t deserve the title!” Yato cried, blocking Hiyori’s shot and punching the air in triumph.

“Seriously?” Daikoku asked. “You two are doing this now?”

“What _are_ they doing?” Yukine asked, standing to the side of their desks and watching the events unfold.

“It’s desktop football,” Kofuku offered. “They have a game about once a week, Hiyori always loses, and they are _very_ competitive. Sometimes things get out of hand and they’re a huge distraction.”

“How out of hand are we talking?” Yukine asked trepidatiously.

“One-time Hiyori punched Yato in the face.”

“I’m still sorry about that,” Hiyori said.

“Don’t be, it was awesome,” Yato replied.

* * *

 

“So… you bought this cat because you thought it was a dog?” Bishamon asked, biting her lip as she struggled to keep from laughing.

Kazuma was tapping his foot faster than was strictly necessary while he looked at the cat that was supposed to be a dog. It didn’t even _look_ like a dog, and it was _ugly_. It had a squished face and more fur than Viina had hair. Which was saying a _lot_. He glanced over at her rather elaborate hairstyle with braids woven into braids and twisted into something elaborate and beautiful. She kept it up and out of the way while they were in the field, and not for the first time he wondered how _long_ it took her to do all that braiding.

“Yes,” The man replied irritably.

“And what made you believe that it was a dog?” Kazuma asked as the cat meowed.

“Well he _said_ it was a dog, and he has a pedigree and everything.” Viina’s face twitched and Kazuma knew that she was close to breaking.

“Could you come down to the police station sometime this week and describe this man to a police sketch artist?”

“Yeah, sure,” the man replied.

“Well thank you so much, your information has been a huge help,” Viina told him.

Her face split into a smile as soon as the door closed and Kazuma pressed his lips together and shook his head stiffly. He took her by the upper arm and herded her towards the elevator, fighting back his own laughter.

“Keep your cool, Viina, not where he can hear us.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m super cool,” her voice shook. Kazuma kept his hand on her arm until the elevator doors closed behind them and they collapsed laughing against the walls, laughing.

“I don’t _believe_ this,” Viina said, “a fucking _cat_.”

“How could he think that cat was a dog?” Kazuma asked, leaning against the wall of the elevator. He reached out and pressed the button to go down while Viina laughed loudly.

“He was so off put about it too! It didn’t even _resemble_ a dog? And that smushed face?” Kazuma pressed a hand to his forehead.

“It’s like Yato with that damned rat.”

“Should we go back and give him Yato’s number? They’d be a perfect couple.” Kazuma barked out a laugh.

“I _wish_ but I told Yato I’d stop setting him up with people I just met after that last guy turned out to be a flat-earther.” Viina practically screamed with laughter.

“A _what_?”

“A flat-earther,” Kazuma groaned. “Apparently I have garbage taste in men.” She laughed even harder at that.

“To be fair, so does Yato.”

“That is fair, but a little mean.”

“Alright fine, to make up for it the next time he calls that rat a gerbil I’ll ignore it.”

“How generous of you,” he grinned at her. Her face still glowed with laughter.

Kazuma’s heart stuttered, and he wished for the thousandth time that he could be as brave as Yato though perhaps with some self-respect. He couldn’t believe that he was living in a world where he was considering asking Yato for relationship advice, but how _did_ he just come out and tell Hiyori how he felt?

“Let’s go to lunch, I’m going to need at least an hour to recover for this before we talk to another witness, I won’t be able to keep a straight face.”

“Alright, we wouldn’t want to ruin your badass reputation,” Kazuma said.

Bishamon flashed him her most powerful scary expression then, the one that she saved for none but the worst offenders and Kazuma audibly choked. A split second later she laughed merrily at his expense and Kazuma released a long breath.

“That is not fair you are so _scary_.”

“I know,” she replied simply, brushing out of the elevator as the doors opened. Kazuma remained standing there for a few seconds before following.

* * *

 

“So far we know of fifteen dogs and one cat, but there’s no telling how many animals they’ve sold that the owners haven’t figured out that the papers are faked yet.”

“We’ll have a composite sketch of the suspect by the end of the week, we’ll probably get a lot of calls once we run the photo on the news.”

“Assuming that they used the same salesmen for multiple sales, we know this is a pretty big operation there may be more than one person.”

“But why bother with all of this for such a small payout? We know they’ve got their fingers in more lucrative pies, so why the dogs- and cat?” Viina asked in between bites of her Belgium waffles.

“An operation that big probably has a massive overhead, the dogs offer a way to pad their budget with relatively low risk,” Kazuma suggested.

“Man, I really hope we get these guys, getting a huge bust for the nine-nine would be great.”

“Maybe if we get these guys the brass will finally approve the money for a new copy machine,” Kazuma thought aloud.

“It spat ink at me last week! If I hadn’t been wearing black it would have ruined my clothes! Luckily you couldn’t tell much of a difference.”

“Is that why you were in such a bad mood on Tuesday?”

“I wasn’t in that bad of a mood!”

“You smashed another computer monitor.”

“I do that all the time.”

“Fair enough. You’d save a lot of money if you didn’t have to keep replacing things you broke, though.”

“Maybe if we catch these traffickers I can convince Captain to put a ‘Bishamon’ allowance in our budget so I can break things without paying out of pocket.””

“I’m sure the taxpayers would love to hear that their money is enabling your bad temper.”

“They wouldn’t say anything to my face even if they wanted too.”

“You’re… not wrong,” he said, thinking of her expression from the elevator. Viina laughed again and took another bite of her waffles. She had decided it was a breakfast for lunch kind of day, so they’d entered the realm of the unknown: Denny’s. She liked the altered sense of reality here.

“So how come I didn’t know about this blood pact from when we were kids? We were together all the time I don’t know how you managed to keep it from me.” She laughed at the distressed look on his face. “Don’t worry I’m not gonna try to make you spill all your secrets.”

“To be honest, I think you knew even if you didn’t know you knew,” Kazuma answered. Bishamon tilted her head in thought.

“I guess you’re right, I always knew there was a stronger bond between you two than with most people. Did you really break a rule though? You’re the most rule abiding person I know.”

“I’d rather not say.”

“So yes,” she said, leaning back against the booth and fixing him with a piercing gaze. “Interesting.”

Kazuma sighed in resignation. Perhaps it was unavoidable, what with the suspicious way he and Yato had behaved this morning and his refusal to answer just now. Even so, Viina wasn’t the gossiping type, and the farthest this information would spread would be to Hiyori. Yato had never spoken of either one of the events ever again, and more than likely he never would. Yato was good at keeping secrets, it was Kazuma who let things slip.

Twice.

“And Yato _really_ never broke a rule? He _lives_ to break rules.”

“Not these, not ever.”

“Hmm.” Bishamon continued to watch him thoughtfully. “Does he tell you everything? Including about his wet dreams about Hiyori?” Kazuma groaned and smacked his face against his hand, and she laughed at the obvious truth in his actions.

“Why is he the way that he is?”

“I wonder if they’ve made any progress in the investigation,” she asked.

“Nope, five minutes ago Kofuku snapped me a video of the two of them playing desk football.”

“Was Hiyori losing again?”

“Of course.”

“Unless she makes a magnificent comeback they’ll be fifty-eight and zero. Why can’t they just do their work like grownups?”

“Because Yato isn’t a grown up and Hiyori indulges him too much,” Viina answered.

“I think she tempers his wild streak a bit, actually, and he hasn’t had a fit of rage in years.”

“You’re probably right.”

Kazuma spotted something strange in the file and dropped his fork to peer closer at it. Viina, taking note of his idea face, leaned forward as well.

“This says three different people said they got the numbers from one of those tear away posters in a laundromat.”

“What do you say, Kazuma, shall we do some laundry?”

“I think we shall.”

* * *

 

“Alright team, Bishamon called the number and set up a buy,” Tenjin told the bullpen later that day. “Tomorrow she’s going with Hiyori to meet the seller. This is our best chance to get a solid lead on these guys, I want all hands on deck. Yato and Kazuma you’ll be in a car one block to the east and Take and Kiun are going to be in a car one block to the west.”

“Great, I love sitting around and doing nothing all day,” Yato said sarcastically.

“That must be why you do it all day,” Kofuku said, smirking at a glaring Yato.

“Rude.”

* * *

 

“You’ll be amazing, Hiyori! You’re the most amazing girl in the world!” Yato gushed, grinning despite the fact she couldn’t see him.

“Thanks, Yato,” she replied, amused.

Mission apparently accomplished Yato set the walkie talkie down and picked up the paper crane he’d been working on, admiring his work.

“How do you do it?” Kazuma blurted, the question that had been clawing its way up his throat finally ripping from his mouth unbidden.

“I just looked it up on YouTube,” Yato said, giving him a confused look. “I told you yesterday that I was going to learn origami.”

“What? No, not that; Hiyori. How do you-” his throat closed around the words, but Yato’s eyes lit with understanding anyway.

“ _Oh_ , you want to know how to ask Bishamon out,” he grinned evilly, as if he’d been waiting for this moment for their entire lives. Considering how long Kazuma had been in love with Viina he might just have been. Kazuma made a distressed sound in the back of his throat and Yato gave him a half sympathetic and half amused look.

“I can’t believe I’m actually asking _you_ for relationship advice. Oh, um, no offense,” he added when he realized how that sentence sounded.

“None taken, I’m a disaster,” Yato said.

“How do you just _say_ how you feel about Hiyori so easily, and to anyone and everyone?”

He was half expecting Yato to say something flippant and silly and was surprised when Yato leaned forward to set his origami crane gently on the dashboard wearing a thoughtful look.

“It wasn’t easy at first,” he said eventually, “but it was even harder to pretend that I didn’t feel anything for her at all. I don’t envy you, Kazuma. The whole time I was trying to hide it I felt like I was drowning. There was this horrible _weight_ on my chest and I couldn’t get it off, but at the same time there was something inside me _fighting_ to get out and it was so _exhausting_ to keep all of that in check.”

“That’s exactly how I feel,” Kazuma said, sagging.

“When I first told Hiyori that I loved her I was still so messed up from the trial and everything that happened with _him_ , and I was trying to hold myself together and take care of Hiiro, and I just didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with all that. I exploded in the weirdest way possible and proposed to her before I’d even asked her out.”

“Wait,” Kazuma said, “if you know the proposing thing is weird, why do you keep doing it?” Yato grinned mischievously.

“For the love of doing it! It’s so much fun, I’m actually working on proposal number seven, I have a notebook full of ideas, want to see?”

“ _No_ ,” Kazuma said firmly.

“Well fine then.”

“But seriously, I get the _why_ , but _how_? How do you just look her in the eyes and tell her how you feel without shame?” Yato scoffed. It was an ugly prolonged sound that matched the curl of his lip and roll of his eyes perfectly. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest.

“I have plenty of shame, but if I focused on that I’d just be drowning in my own fear, Kazuma.”

“I don’t know if I could ever be that brave.”

“Bravery is just a decision you make.”

Kazuma blinked in surprise and surveyed Yato during this brief moment of seriousness before he caught sight of Hiyori and lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Look, it’s the girls!” He snatched the walkie talkie up again and pressed the talk button, any trace of his former melancholy gone. “Hiyori you look so pretty! Those criminals are gonna get a look at how gorgeous you are and be begging to turn themselves in.” Bishamon made a disgusted sound.

“I really hope that when we catch these guys they play this recording back in court, so you have to explain this to a jury of your peers.”

“I would be _honored_ to tell a room full of people how much I love Hiyori. In case you haven’t noticed I do it every day.”

“Actually, I have,” Hiyori said, “and if anyone on the jury has any ideas on how to make his stop-”

“We could kill him,” Bishamon suggested.

“I could fire all of you and hire an entirely new detective squad,” Tenjin’s voice cut in, startling all of them.

“Sorry Captain, I didn’t know you were on the line,” Yato said.

“Half the nine-nine is on the line Yato and judging by how money is exchanging hands over here I’d say you just won Daikoku about three hundred dollars.”

“Aw man, what was the bet on this time?” Yato asked.

“How long it would take you to tell Hiyori you loved her,” Daikoku’s voice said. “I’m taking my lady out to a fancy dinner tonight!”

“There’s the seller,” Kazuma said, taking the walkie from Yato. “Straight ahead about two hundred feet, Viina.”

Bishamon pretended to laugh at something Hiyori pretended to say, and the girls slipped easily into the guise of ordinary city people out to have a good time and buy a dog. Kazuma watched as Yato’s face smoothed into a cool focus, on high alert for anything that might pose a danger to Hiyori or Bishamon.

“Hey!” Hiyori called, waving merrily at the suspects. “Are you the dog guys?” The two men gave each other amused looks.

“Yeah, we’re the dogs guys.”

“Awesome!” Bishamon crooned. “We’re the ones who called about buying a dog!”

“We’ve got a great deal on a purebred lab,” once of the men said.

“Why so cheap for a purebred?” Bishamon asked, blinking innocently.

“Well I’ve got a boy and my friend here has got a girl, we like to compete them, but one night I had to watch his dog and now we’ve got more little purebreds than we know what to do with,” the guy said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

“Well lucky us,” Hiyori said. “Do they come with papers? I’ve always wanted to do dog shows.”

“Oh yeah, they’re certified by the American Kennel Club and everything,” the second guy said.

“Great,” Tenjin said, “now get them to take you back to their kennel and see if you can plant some bugs.”

* * *

 

The next day the men hadn’t taken Bishamon and Hiyori to their kennel, but had sold Bishamon a dog, which she had named Skull Crusher. However, Take and Kiun had managed to follow the men back to their base of operations and were sitting on a roof across the street until the end of their shift when Bishamon and Hiyori would take over for them.

“So far Take and Kiun have reported shipment of cats, dogs, and birds. I don’t get it, why those three specifically?”

“There the most common domestic pets other than fish I’d guess. Domestic animals have a larger market of people who are less likely to know when they’re being scammed,” Yato said. “How’s Skull Crusher doing by the way?”

“Great, one day of doggie day care and he’s already smarter than you. Better at understanding the word ‘no’ too.”

“Who put money one Bishamon refusing to give the dog up?”

“Everyone, we couldn’t do a bet because everyone knew that that’s exactly what would happen.” Bishamon glared and Yato laughed.

“What about the birds?” Kazuma asked, ignoring their conversation. “Exotic bird smuggling is a pretty big deal, and not easy. Where are they getting the birds from?”

“I called the FBI and they’ve had their eyes on a certain port into the city, we’re putting an undercover on it to watch for any interaction.”

“Great, now we’ve got to deal with those guys trying to snipe our case too,” Yato grumbled.

“You don’t have to deal with anything for the next two days,” Hiyori said sternly. “You’re going to be at a cultural festival and you’re not going to call any of us for constant updates on the case, _right_?”

“Of course!” Yato said, as if the very thought of him calling to check on the case was offensive. “I’ll be giving Hiiro so much attention she’ll wish I wasn’t there!”

“Or pay her a normal amount of attention so she doesn’t feel smothered,” Kazuma suggested dryly.

“Great idea Kazuma, I hadn’t considered _that_.”

“What case? We don’t know anything at all!”

“Maybe Bishamon and Hiyori will see something once they relieve Take and Kiun.”

“But by then I’ll already be on my way to see Hiiro, so I’ll miss it!”

“Your life is so hard,” Bishamon drawled.

* * *

 

“You are officially on your long weekend, Yato, you had better have a good reason to be calling,” Hiyori said, rolling her eyes at Bishamon.

“I love you! Isn’t that a good enough reason?” Bishamon, evidently able to hear him, made a noise of disgust. Hiyori stood and took several paces away on their rooftop.

“Not today, I’m not going to give you any updates on the case. Hang up and focus on driving.”

“I don’t want updates on the case! Okay, well, if there’s anything new tell me, but I was calling to ask if you wanted a present from the festival! There’s going to be stalls and things like that! Crafts made by students to raise money for their clubs.”

“What is Hiiro’s club selling?”

“Um, I don’t know actually, but I’ll get you something from her booth, unless its food. I called the principal and apparently she’s also in a play, she’s a ghost or something.”

“Really? Do you think she was acting out because of nerves? Maybe that’s why she didn’t tell you about it?”

“I don’t think that she wanted to do it, participating in group activities is a part of her rehabilitation program. Naturally I’m bringing the camcorder to record it for everyone.”

“I’m sure she’ll be delighted about that. Don’t forget to just _be there_ you know and experience the moment while you’re there. Don’t focus too much on the recording.” She could hear the smile in Yato’s voice.

“Of course, now about the case…”

“I’m hanging up now Yato.” She turned around to see Bishamon waving her over frantically.

“No! I just want to talk to the love of my life-”

“Got to go, there’s movement.”

“Wait what?” She heard Yato ask before she hung up and slipped her phone back into her pocket.

A large truck was backing into a loading dock and crates and cages were being unloaded. A man got out of the driver’s side and approached one of the men who had sold Bishamon Skull Crusher. Hiyori could hear the shutter of Bishamon’s camera clicking away. She ducked low behind the short wall of the roof and dialed the Captain.

“We’ve got them,” Hiyori said, “A shipment of animals and what looks to be fake documents.”

“Great, I’ll get SWAT on the line. You sit on that location until we get there, I want you in on the raid as well.”

“Got it.”

* * *

 

“I don’t know why you put up with him,” Bishamon said eventually.

“Oh, he’s not that bad,” Hiyori said. “He’s harmless.”

“He has a key to your apartment.”

“He mostly uses it to bring gifts and the Magic Feel Better Smoothie,” she said, smiling with the memory.

“Oh no, Hiyori, you don’t like him again, do you?” Hiyori choked.

“What? Of course not! Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I don’t believe it, I thought you were over that a long time ago!”

“I was, I mean I am! I mean-” She stopped. Obviously, this lie wasn’t working. Honestly sometimes it was like Bishamon could _smell_ the lies.

“I can’t believe you like that moron! He has no sense of boundaries!”

“He’s a really good guy, okay?” Bishamon gave her a disbelieving look. “You can’t see it because you don’t want to, but he is. He’d do anything for anyone, including you, but he’s got a lot on his plate right now and the last thing he needs is a distraction.”

“Isn’t that the same excuse you used last time?”

“That was right after the trial! It wouldn’t have been right!”

“I don’t know, he seems pretty distracted to me already. In fact, you actually dating him might help him focus more, all the energy he’s putting into trying to convince you to date him could go somewhere more productive, and it’s not like you don’t want too.” Hiyori was surprised at the _logic_ in Bishamon’s reply.

“I don’t know…”

“So, you’re in love with an idiot who is in love with you, what’s next?”

“Getting the evidence, we need to get a conviction,” Hiyori said sternly, “or maybe we could talk about how _you_ still haven’t asked out Kazuma.”

“I just love collecting evidence, don’t you?”

* * *

 

“Surprise!” Yato cried, bursting into the room, after having knocked of course. His visitors badge swung wildly with his momentum.

“It’s not a surprise if I know you’re coming and you knock before you come in,” Hiiro replied, getting up to hug him nonetheless. Yato kissed the top of her head and sat on her neatly made bed, patting the space beside him.

“Yeah but I didn’t tell you I’d be here tonight!”

“You text me an hour ago and told me to get ready for dinner.”

“Oh yeah.”

“You’re such a mess sometimes.” Yato chuckled sheepishly.

“Well then, are you ready?” Hiiro nodded. Yato leapt to his feet. “Then to Red Lobster we go!”

“Can you _afford_ Red Lobster?”

“Yes!” He said defensively. “I’m not a b-cop anymore, and I’ve been doing lots of overtime!” Hiiro gave him a skeptical look. “I have! I can show you my balance on my phone if you want!”

“Okay, okay I believe you.” She herded him out of the room and closed the door behind them. “How are things at work?”

“Dog fraud.”

“What?”

“Our case is about Dog Fraud.”

“You mean like animal trafficking or something?”

“Animal trafficking among other things. He’s also selling dogs with fake papers from the American Kennel Club. Also, he sold a cat as a dog. Bishamon bought one, a real dog not a cat.”

“Don’t make things up, Yato, you’re a grown man, it’s unbecoming.”

“I’m not making it up!” He defended. “I’ll prove it!” He pulled out his phone and dialed Hiyori before Hiiro could say anything else.”

“Yato I can’t talk-”

“I need you to settle an argument!”

“Oh my God.”

“Hiiro doesn’t believe that these guys sold a cat as a dog and somebody bought it!” He heard an exasperated sigh on the other end of the line.

“Hi Hiiro, sweetie.”

“Hi Hiyori.”

“Unfortunately, your brother is telling the truth, now I’ve _really got to go_. We’re preparing for a raid.”

“What, really?” Yato asked. “What the hell kind of evidence did you two get on that stakeout?”

“It’s a long story but we seemed to have stumbled on their biggest shipment yet and several major players showed up. I really can’t talk.” She hung up the phone before Yato could say goodbye and he grinned triumphantly at Hiiro.

“Seems like you’re really missing out on an interesting investigation,” she teased. “I wonder how cool Hiyori is going to be tonight without you there to see it. How do you think they got the fake papers?” Yato narrowed his eyes.

“Wait a minute, since when are you so interested in my job? You’re just trying to keep me distracted so I won’t ask about what happened, aren’t you?”

“No!”

“Yes!” Yato snapped. “Why did you hit that girl?”

“No reason?”

“What did she do to you?”

“Looked at me funny.”

“Are you trying to start another cult?” He asked.

“It wasn’t a cult!” She snapped, “and no!” Yato stopped walking and pulled Hiiro close to the wall and out of the way.

“Hiiro, I won’t be mad, you can talk to me. I’m not Dad. Those parenting classes the judge made me take really helped, I’m a lot better at communicating than I was before you started going here. Let me help you.”

“There’s nothing wrong!” She threw his hand off and stormed back towards her room.

“Where are you going?”

“Back to my room, I’m not hungry anymore.” Yato followed her down the hall, stopping when she slammed the door in his face. He raised his fist and knocked gently.

“Can I come in, Hiiro?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“I’ll sleep out here, you know I will.”

“I’ll call security.”

“I’m a cop.”

“Go away.” Yato turned and thunked the back of his head against the door and slid to the ground noisily so she’d know what he was doing.

“I guess I’ll just sleep right here then. Maybe I’ll show random passersby your baby pictures. I uploaded all of them to the cloud you know, so I can show my coworkers whenever I want. Who sleeps in the room next to yours? What boys do you know? I bet they’d love these.”

The door whipped open so fast that Yato tumbled back onto the floor and he was looking at Hiiro’s angry and upside-down face.

“You are the most _insufferable, annoying, rude-_ ”

“I’m your brother, all of those things are in the job description.”

“Well being nosy isn’t!”

“Actually, it is, page three, article five, paragraph two. You haven’t seen it because younger siblings don’t get to read the older sibling handbooks. Also, I have a court order saying your business is my business. It’s notarized and everything.” She kicked him in the head and he sat up indignantly.

“Why are you acting out?” He snapped. “Are there problems with other classmates? Are you being bullied?”

“No! Just go away!”

“Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Tell me and I’ll fix it!”

“That’s not it either!”

“Then what is it? _Please_ tell me and stop destroying people stuff and kicking people’s heads!” Yato pleaded.

“Why can’t you just leave it alone?”

“Because I got a call from the school saying you’d attacked another girl and that it might affect your rehabilitation program and you might not get to come home for the holidays! I really miss you and I’ve been looking forward to you coming home for a visit since the principal declared that you had permission to leave the campus again! Do you know how long it’s been since we lived together, or spent a whole day together without having to worry about your curfew?” Hiiro’s face crumpled and she sat down hard next to him.

“Years.”

“Exactly, and if there’s something that’s bothering you, tell me so I can help you and you don’t have to act out anymore.” She clenched her jaw and looked away.

“I-she- the poster she had on her wall just made me really mad, so I asked her nicely to take them down, I really did! But then she wouldn’t so I tore them down and tried to shove them down her throat.”

“ _Hiiro_ ,” Yato whispered. “Over a poster? What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t, okay? I just got _so mad_ and all I could hear was Dad telling me that I had to take what I wanted to get people to respect me and-”

“Dad was a-”

“I know Dad was a lunatic! But I still hear his voice in my head and it’s so hard to ignore sometimes!” Yato reached out and placed his hand on her hair.

“I hear him too, I know it’s hard, but posters Hiiro? What could have possibly been on that poster to make you so mad?”

“It was nothing.”

“If it was nothing you wouldn’t have made her eat it.”

“It’s not important.”

“It seems pretty important. Getting angry over nothing was always my thing, not yours, remember?”

Hiiro made a frustrated sound and got to her feet and vaulted onto her bed. She grabbed her pillow and pulled it down over her head. Yato closed the door and sat next to her.

“Hiiro, you know they’re going to tell me tomorrow at the parent teacher meeting, I’d rather hear it from you first.” She gripped the pillow tighter over her head and he rested a hand on one of her fists. “Talk to me, I won’t be angry.”

“You won’t be angry, but you’ll be upset,” she said.

“What does that mean, why would I be upset?”

“Because she’s obsessed with true crime, Yato!” Hiiro cried, sitting up and gazing at Yato with wide eyes ringed with red. A small seed of familiar dread sprouted deep in hit gut. “ _Especially_ serial killers!” Yato gulped.

“Hiiro…”

“The poster was Rabo’s mugshot, alright? I couldn’t stand to look at it and she wouldn’t take it down, so I _shoved it down her throat_ because she has no idea what he did to us and I couldn’t explain it because it was too embarrassing!”

Yato found himself unable to speak around the lump in his throat, so he pulled Hiiro in for a hug. They sobbed as the years old but still fresh wounds split open again and spilled new tears until there were no more to shed. All the pain and shame that rode on the back of that name were as new as if the trial had ended only yesterday, and not years ago. Sometime later Yato sat back, still sniffing, and wiped at his sister’s cheeks.

“Hey, let’s go to Red Lobster, they won’t close for a few hours yet.”

“Really? Still? You’re not mad at me?”

“Of course not,” he said gently, “I just wanted to understand. I do irrational things when I’m reminded of him too. There’s no excuse for hurting someone else, but let’s go get some good food and forget about this for a while, okay?”

* * *

 

“Yato,” Hiyori said tiredly, “it’s late.”

“I know I just… needed to talk to you.”

“I’m not telling you about the case.”

“No, it’s… about Hiiro,” He whispered.

Hiiro’s roommate had been moved to another room after the incident and left her bed vacant. Yato had decided to stay there that night to be closer to Hiiro, but he’d snuck out after midnight to call Hiyori.

“What’s going on?”

“Did I wake you up?”

“No, I’m just getting home, after the raid we had to interrogate the suspects. I can talk for a while, did you find out why Hiiro’s been acting out?”

“Yeah,” he replied, throat tight, “it’s my fault.”

“Was she trying to get your attention.”

“No, she… she freaked out because her roommate was a fan of true crime and had a poster of _him_ on her wall.”

“Him? You mean?”

“Rabo.”

“That’s not your-”

“I’m the one who brought him into our lives when we were still both so vulnerable and messed up, Hiyori. _I’m_ the one who invited a goddamn murderer into our home for _years_ right after we got out of that house with our father, and I’m the one who ignored every fucking red flag that exists.” His breath hitched, and his voice cracked as he slid heavily down the wall to sit on the carpet.

“Rabo had us all fooled, Yato.”

“All of us weren’t living with him though, just me. All of us didn’t believe him when he said the blood on his clothes was from breaking up a bar fight. I’m such an idiot, and now Hiiro’s got even more issues because I didn’t know my fucking boyfriend was a murderer. Some detective.” He swiped away a few tears.

“It’s been years, it’s time to forgive yourself. All you and your sister can do is try to move on and recover.”

“She wouldn’t tell me why she got so mad at first, you know.” Yato’s voice cracked again. “She tried to protect me, my _baby sister_ tried to protect me, she didn’t want to bring him up, so I wouldn’t have to be upset. What kind of guardian am I if she feels like it’s her job to protect _me?_ And why wouldn’t she, I’m crying in the hallway of a middle school dorm room after midnight, so my sister won’t hear me.”

“Yato,” Hiyori said sternly, “it’s late, and you’re too tired to see that you’re being too hard on yourself. You took the same profiling course I did, and you know that people like him are experts at tricking people into believing they’re normal. He knew that you were young and vulnerable, and he took advantage. You’ve been working so hard to take good care of Hiiro, don’t you dare say you’re not an amazing brother, because you are, and Hiiro wanting to protect you says she thinks the same thing. You can’t keep punishing yourself for things you did when you were young and broken.”

“What about the things I’m doing when I’m less young but just as broken?”

“Like paying for extra parenting classes to be sure you don’t wind up like your father? Or going to counseling to get yourself right so you can be there for her? You’re making up for your past mistakes, Yato.” He laughed emptily, though he felt his spirits lifting slightly at all the praise.

“Gee, Hiyori, I had no idea you thought so highly of me.”

“Of course, I do, Yato, you’re an amazing person. What’s done is done and beating yourself up over it won’t change it.” Yato ran a hand through his hair, intensely grateful Hiyori was willing to put up with him.

“God, Hiyori, I love you so much. I know I say it a lot, but I do. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Probably be just as dedicated to your sister, but you’d be giving Kazuma an ulcer.” Yato smiled and wiped at his cheeks again.

“I hope you’re right. Hiiro deserves the best.”

“As far as I’m concerned she’s got it.” Yato sniffed loudly a few times.

“You really are the best Hiyori. Thanks for listening and talking some sense into me.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

“Yeah,” he said softly.

“Now go to sleep. Everything will look better in the morning.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Night.”

“Night, love you.”

Yato hung up the phone and tilted his head back so it rested against the wall. He stared at the ceiling for several long moments before he got to his feet, and went back to bed, kissing his sleeping sister on the forehead before settling down on the other side of the room.

 

 


	3. Benched

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yato get's benched because he did something dumb (adachitouka, if you're listening...)

“Yato, what are you doing?” Daikoku growled, looming behind him.

“Don’t worry about it,” Yato replied quickly, pretending several vital screws from Take’s chair weren’t hidden behind his back.

“These pranks never go well, Yato, Take never thinks it’s funny.”

“That’s what makes it funny! I’ll put them back afterwards I promise!”

Daikoku gave him a disapproving look before shaking his head and walking away. Yato removed the last screw and scampered back to his desk, opened the top drawer and pretended that he was playing with Mickey as he waited for Take to arrive.

“You’re going to regret this,” Hiyori said disinterestedly, “you always do.”

“Oh, come on, this one is harmless, it’s going to be so funny!”

“He’s going to kill you.”

“Yato’s right then, it _will_ be funny,” Bishamon interjected.

Yato pulled a face at her then turned back to the elevator, perking up when it dinged, and the door opened, revealing Take and Kiun. Take blew gently on a cup of visibly steaming coffee while Kiun told him a story.

“Ho boy,” Kazuma said helplessly.

The detective squad watched the following events as one would watch a train wreck, with silently dawning horror and morbid fascination. Take chuckled at the resolution of Kiun’s story as he sat down, his chair collapsing backwards and dumping hot coffee all over his chest. Take’s cry of alarm stretched into a scream of pain. Yato and Kiun leapt to their feet at the same time wearing matching expressions of horror.

“What the hell?” Kiun shouted.

Take sat up painfully and looked around in confusion his face darkening when his eyes landed on Yato, still on his feet, gaping helplessly.

“Yato! I’m going to kill you!”

Take scrambled to his feet and Yato bolted, darting around several uniformed officers to the sound of Bishamon’s delighted laughter. Several people converged on Kofuku’s desk with money out.

“See, I told you it was going to be funny, Take is going to kick his ass.”

* * *

 

“This is a new level of stupid, even for you, Yato!” Tenjin shouted, pacing back and forth as Yato cowered before him. “Takemikazuchi is in the hospital with second degree burns and a fractured hand.”

“To be fair he did the fractured hand on his own,” Yato said, indicating his spectacular black eye. Tenjin leveled an unamused look at Yato.

“You deserved that.”

“That’s fair.”

“You want to know what else is fair?”

“Not really.”

“I’m taking you off active duty indefinitely, effective immediately.”

“You’re benching me?” Yato cried.

“Yes. You have been benched.”

“What about Hiyori?”

“Hiyori will be partnered up with Kiun until you prove to me that you can act like a grown up. Dismissed.”

“But-”

“I said dismissed.”

Yato stood and dragged his feet out of the office, plopping down in his chair and collapsing onto his desk.

“That bad huh?” Hiyori asked, not looking up from her computer.

“I’m off active duty indefinitely,” Yato groaned.

“What?”

“You’re with Kiun until Tenjin decides that I’ve been good enough.”

“Wow, he must have been really mad at you.”

“He even said that I deserved this black eye.”

“Well that’s just true. Take _did_ end up in the hospital.”

“I can’t believe that you’re siding with him!” Yato cried, sitting up just enough to give Hiyori a devastated look.

“I can’t believe that you nearly melted Take’s flesh off,” Bishamon said, not bothering to conceal her delight. “You’ll never make it back into the field, from now on you’ll be a house mouse, just like your rat!” Kiun snorted with laughter.

“Seriously, you owe Take an apology,” Daikoku said. “You’re going to go to the hospital personally to apologize and you’re going to do his paperwork for a month after he gets back, _no over time_.”

“ _More_ punishment? After Tenjin already benched me?”

“That’s right! Keep complaining and see what you get.”

“Ten bucks says it’s more punishment,” Bishamon chimed in.

“Why are you still here?” Daikoku snapped at her. “Don’t you have cases to be working? As for you, Yato, I have a laundry list of chores for you to do once you finish your paperwork.”

Yato groaned and smacked his head on his desk as Bishamon and Kazuma collected their things and left as quickly as they could.

* * *

 

“So, you don’t have any real work to be doing?” Yukine asked as he watched Yato wobble dangerously on the worst chair in the precinct, trying not to die for the sake of clean windows in the break room.

“I _do_ but Daikoku yelled at me a bunch and told me to clean the break room, so I’m cleaning the break room.” Yato glanced over his shoulder and narrowed his eyes at Yukine’s long sleeved shirt.

“You’re doing that wrong,” Yukine said, “If you keep using that paper towel you’ll get streaks and paper particles.”

“I had no idea that you were such an expert on window washing.”

“I always get window washing duty on cleaning day at home. I think I saw a clean rag in the supply closet. I’ll be right back.”

“Thanks,” Yato said, watching Yukine leave.

* * *

 

“Alright intern looks like you’re going to be helping me out today because I’m lonely and want someone to talk to,” Yato said when Yukine returned.

“That sounds like a you problem.”

“Now it’s a you problem, you’re an intern, it’s not like you’ve got anything better to do.”

“Alright, fine. What are we doing first?”

“Well I’m finished in here, so I figured we’d start off easy with the kitchen, and then if you think you’re brave enough then we’re levelling up and doing the men’s restroom.” Yukine grimaced.

“I don’t think I’m brave enough. The floor has an entirely different texture when you look at it! All the way up to the door! How is that even possible?”

“Men are disgusting,” Yato said seriously, without irony.

* * *

 

“Oh God, this food must have been here for months,” Yukine gagged, peeling back the lid of a Tupperware container with mixed disgust and fascination.

“Yukine don’t breathe that in, mold can kill you!” Yato cried. “Put it in a biohazard bag and throw it in a furnace.”

“That might not be enough,” Yukine replied, holding the bowl as far away from his body as possible.

Yato stood on the same wobbly chair with his fluffy fluff scarf tied around his face as he scrubbed the freezer out with bleach. When Yukine returned from his trip to the furnace he stood and watched Yato work for a few seconds.

“You should quit your police job and be a housekeeper, you’re much better at it,” Yukine said.

“No way!” Yato said, glancing down at Yukine. “I’m a really great detective!”

“But you’re better at cleaning than you are at your real job,” Yukine repeated, pulling another disgusting Tupperware from the back of the fridge and placing it into a biohazard bag.

“Cleaning is fun, but detective work is _more_ fun!”

“What made you want to be a cop?”

“Die Hard.”

“Seriously?”

“No, I just like shiny things and the badge was calling my name.”

“Your parents must be so proud,” Yukine said dryly. Yato snorted.

“Can’t imagine that my old man likes cops.”

“Why’s that?”

“He’s in jail.”

“Same hat,” Yukine said, surprised.

“What?” Yato asked, pulling his head out of the freezer to look at Yukine.

“I said ‘same hat’ it means me too.”

“Oh, same hat then.” Yukine groaned.

“I shouldn’t have taught you that, you’re going to be saying it all the time, now aren’t you?”

“All the time,” Yato affirmed, “what else do the young people say?”

“I’ve created a monster.”

“That doesn’t seem like a trendy catchphrase, Frankenstein,” Yato climbed halfway back into the freezer wondering how the hell that stain got all the way at the back of the ceiling anyway?

“So, there’s something that I kind of want to ask you,” Yukine said, sounding unsure.

“What is it?”

“Are you really in love with Hiyori or is that just some sort of running joke?”

“Of course, I’m really in love with her! Why would I ever joke about being in love with Hiyori! She’s amazing!”

“See, now I can’t tell if you’re messing with me.” Yato laughed. _Am I really so ridiculous?_

“It’s not a joke, I’m really into her.”

“And you just say it, all the time, unrestrainedly?”

“To anyone and everyone who will listen,” Yato said brightly.

“That’s so weird, what will you do if she gets a boyfriend?”

“I’m legally obligated to go on a blind date with one of her new boyfriend’s friends. She made me sign a contract and she hides it so I can’t destroy the evidence.”

“You’re hilarious.”

“I’m not joking, ask Hiyori. Oh my God, actually ask her to show it to you, it’d give me another chance to destroy it!”

“Umm…”

“Do yourself a favor and _never_ go on a blind date,” Yato said, apparently now on a tangent. “They’re _terrible_ , _especially_ ones set up by Kazuma. If he tells you he has a younger cousin or friend about your age _run_ in the other direction.”

“What’s so bad about dates that Kazuma sets up?”

“He attracts nutcases like moths to a flame! I don’t know what it is about him, but everyone he’s ever set me up with was crazy! One lady didn’t believe in dinosaurs. _Dinosaurs_.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m not! How does he find all of these crazies, and more importantly, why does he always want to set me up with them?”

“I can’t imagine why,” Yukine grumbled.

“I’ve snuck out on so many dates.”

“Classy.”

“What else was I supposed to do?”

Yato pushed himself onto his tiptoes to reach the stain and the wobbly chair slipped out from underneath him. He plummeted to the ground, taking Yukine with him. Both shrieked, and the precinct shook with the force of their fall.

“What the hell happened?” Daikoku cried, running to the scene then rolling his eyes in exasperation. “Will you two idiots get back to work?”

“You could at least ask if we’re okay,” Yato groaned, climbing off Yukine.

“Yukine, are you alright? Yato, get back to work.”

“Seriously?”

“I’m fine, he’s too scrawny to cause any serious damage.”

“I’m not scrawny!”

“Get back to work, Yato,” Daikoku repeated.

“Okay _mom_.”

Yato got to his feet slowly and stretched like a cat before flipping the chair back on its feet.

“Whoa there,” Yukine said, taking it away, “Maybe it’s time to find a different chair.”

“Good idea.”

* * *

 

“God, cops are disgusting,” Yukine groaned, voice muffled by the scarf Yato had stolen from Hiyori months ago. Even with the scarf covering his face his eyes still burned from the fumes from the very large amount of bleach that Yato had poured into the mop water. Yato opened the door for ventilation and then started pouring bleach directly onto the floor, clutching his fluffy fluff scarf tightly over his face.

“These are the same bathrooms that the civilians and suspects who come into the station use, so I like to blame the mess on the criminals.”

“Yeah sure, but who uses the bathroom more consistently?”

“Criminals pee more. It’s the guilt.”

“And here I thought the bathrooms at my group home were bad. I’m never complaining about them again.”

“Which group home is it?”

“The one on tenth.”

“Same hat!” Yukine rolled his eyes.

“You lived there too?”

“Yeah! It’s a lot nicer than the one on second.”

“...There isn’t a group home on second street.”

“Exactly! It was so bad they shut it down.”

“Were you there when they did?”

“I was the reason they did! The cops brought me home after I got in trouble for trying to steal a dog and saw what was going on then called DHR.”

“You tried to steal a dog?”

“Try not to step in the bleach, it might burn your feet, and it’ll ruin your shoes.”

“You tried to steal a dog?”

“I was about to be taken to a kill shelter!”

“Oh, so you were a vigilante?” He asked sardonically.

“You sound like Daikoku when he arrested me.”

“Daikoku? Like the Sargent?”

“Yeah, he arrested me a couple of times, worked pretty hard to help me out, though. He didn’t file any charges for the dog thing, either.”

“That’s really cool of him.”

“Yeah, scrub the graffiti off the stall walls but don’t read it! It’s not for young eyes!”

“You know I’ve used this bathroom before, right?” Yukine replied, grabbing a magic eraser that Yato had had in his jacket pocket and grabbed a spray bottle of bleach. This much bleach in a small room, even with the door open, couldn’t be good for the two of them, but Yukine didn’t protest. He had to use this bathroom after all.

“I wonder if the ladies’ room is this dirty?”

“I don’t know I’ve never been in there.”

“Really?”

“Why the tone of surprise?”

“Because I’m surprised. You mean a creepy stalker like you has never followed Hiyori into the bathroom?”

“I’m not an animal! It’s the _ladies’_ room!”

“You draw the line in weird places.”

“It makes perfect sense to me.”

“So, you can break into her apartment and steal her stuff, but you can’t follow her into the bathroom?”

“Bathrooms are private!” Yukine gave him an incredulous look, unable to form a response.

“What the hell is that smell?” Tenjin asked, stepping into the bathroom. “Are you two idiots trying to fry your brains?” He snapped.

“We want a clean bathroom, it’s awful in here!”

“Well I don’t want to call the coroner to come pick up your dead bodies. Clean up this bleach and get out of here.”

“Fine!” Yato said, “I can call Hiyori!”

* * *

 

“Are you going to answer it?” Kiun asked, watching Hiyori curiously as she sighed at the name on the screen.

“Of course, if I don’t he’ll just keep calling anyway.” She lifted her phone to her ear. “Hey Yato.”

“Hello my love! Tenjin gave me a break from cleaning because I was using so much bleach in the men’s bathroom he was worried I would die from the fumes.”

“It still probably wasn’t enough bleach, that place is disgusting,” Kiun commented, and Hiyori moved away from him.

“Well I’m glad to hear you’re actually doing something, I thought you’d just be crying to Mickey all day.”

“Daikoku is really mad at me, so I had to do something. How are you on this fine morning? Missing me I bet!”

“Well you’ve been texting non-stop so it’s almost like you’re still here,” she said, forcing a smile.

“I’m always with you in spirit!”

“Right, how could I forget? Did you call because you needed something or because you just wanted to talk?”

“Who says it can’t be both?”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“Nonononono wait! I have a real reason!”

“Is the reason that you missed me?”

“Not the only one!”

“Goodbye Yato.”

“WAIT! What do you know about the intern, Yukine?”

“No.”

“No what?”

“No to whatever you’re thinking of. Don’t scare the intern away, Yato, not again!” She stepped out of the flow of foot traffic and leaned against a wall.

“I’m not thinking of doing anything! He’s been helping me clean and now we’re friends.”

“If you’re friends why are you asking me what I know about him?”

“Well… he’s a lot like me when I was his age. Too much, I think.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Did you know that he lives in a group home? And that his dad is in jail?”

“And he has a record, he really is a young you.”

“Well at his age my rap sheet was a lot worse, so that’s something.”

“He’s surpassing you already,” Hiyori joked, smiling bemused at Kiun. “Maybe one day he’ll be my new partner and you can retire and start an etsy shop of hand knitted sweaters and rat clothes.”

“I should make clothes for Mickey!”

Kiun’s phone rang and he stepped away to take the call.

“Take, what’s up? Are you still high on painkillers?”

“No, they downed my dose so I’m lucid now, but they changed my bandage again, which sucked.”

“You’re not in pain, are you?”

“Nah, I called because I’m super bored, tell me about your case.”

“It’s just a standard b and e, we were heading over to the scene when Yato called and Hiyori stopped to talk.”

“Yato? Let me talk to that son of a bitch!”

“You can’t! He’s not here. He’s at the station, Tenjin benched him, he’s off active duty.”

“Good! Put him on! I wanna give him a piece of my mind!”

The next ten minutes were a ludicrous catastrophe. Kiun pulled Hiyori’s phone away from her and held it up to his own and rolled his eyes. Yato and Take yelled at each other through two phones while passersby stared, and neither of them actually understood what the other was saying.

“You’re such an ass, Yato!”

“There’s something you want to ask?”

“Yes! I think that You’re an ass!”

“So why don’t you just ask! I was talking to Hiyori!”

“I’m not talking to Hiyori I’m talking to you!”

“You’re both idiots, I’m hanging up,” Kiun said.

“Wait don’t hang up!” Yato cried.

“How is that the one thing that you heard perfectly?”

“Take, I’m really sorry about the chair thing, I didn’t mean to hurt you! I’ll make you a cake!”

“...what kind of cake?”

“How did he hear _that_ perfectly?” Kiun asked.

“Coconut?” Yato suggested.

“...fine.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Hiyori and Kiun exchanged incredulous looks and hung up before Yato and Take could find something else to argue about.

* * *

 

“Great, because of the fiasco with Take and Yato we missed our appointment and the security guards are on lunch right now,” Hiyori said, peering into the darkened store front.

“Well, since we’re here why don’t we do a little canvassing? The people in the apartments across the street might have seen something.”

“Door duty? Without Yato?” Hiyori asked, horrified. “That’d be like cheating!” Kiun gave her a disbelieving look.

* * *

 

The second that the door had opened Kiun had locked eyes with a giant owl that sat calmly atop the head of the civilian man that they were questioning. While Hiyori questioned the man about anything he might have heard or seen last night Kiun was gazing, unblinkingly, into the dark depths of the owl’s eyes. He hadn’t moved at all, and Hiyori was starting to think he was having an out of body experience.

“What the hell just happened to you?” Hiyori asked when the door closed and Kiun blinked slowly back into reality.

“I think that owl was trying to eat my soul.”

“Are there any normal people in the nine-nine?”

“I’m not the one who was unaffected by the demon owl!”

“You’re crazier than Yato.”

* * *

 

“Okay, time to get back to work. We’ll give the floor one more scrub with bleach mixed with water and we’ll scrub everything one more time and call it done.”

“Are we cleaning the ladies’ room?”

“No! The ladies’ room is off limits!” Yukine shrugged.

“Alright, less work for me.”

“After this is the evidence room. Be sure not to break the seals on any of those boxes.”

“Or what?”

“Or a murderer could go free. If that evidence gets contaminated the cases have to be dismissed.”

“...I’ll be extra careful.”

* * *

 

“Okay so this video takes confirms what that man with the demon familiar told you while his minion tried to consume my soul.”

“Yes,” Hiyori said, giving Kiun a pointed look as the security guards looked at them like they were nuts. “The perps broke in then ran west on forty-ninth street. I called Yato and he’s checking other cams in the area to try and track their progress. Also, he drowned the men’s bathroom in bleach, cleaned the break room, and organized the evidence room.”

“He’s had a productive day. We should take him off active duty more often, our cleaning crew doesn’t even go in the men’s room any more. They said it was hazardous and stopped cleaning it when the department refused to provide hazmats.”

“I’ll call my CI’s and see if they know anything about diamonds for sale. This seems like pretty novice work, I doubt these crooks know how to contact high level fences.”

“Wait, wait, wait, is it the same one that accidentally got you and Yato super high that time?”

“We didn’t _know_ they were edibles!”

“Maybe don’t trust the food that your criminal informants make for you?”

“It wasn’t my fault! There was no note, so I assumed they were from Yato! He thought that I had made them and helped himself!”

“He stood on his desk and tried to convince the entire precinct that Robert Wagner was responsible for the death of Natalie Wood.”

“Yeah but Yato does stuff like that anyway, he doesn’t need to be high. Also, he’s right about the Natalie Wood drowning.”

“Not you too.”

“There’s no way she would have tried to get back to shore on her own, she had a lifelong phobia of water!” The security guards jumped at her sudden outburst and Hiyori and Kiun looked at them uncomfortably and lowered their voices.

“You two really are perfect for each other.”

* * *

 

“Alright my love, so I managed to track the movements of our perpetrators all along forty ninth street, they turned down fifty second and then disappeared into a parking garage with no security cameras.”

“So, we lost them,” Hiyori said, exasperated.

“Of course not! Who do you think you’re talking too? I’m a master detective! I checked the cams on all the ATMs and traffic cams on every street the garage connected too, and when that turned up nothing I checked all the streets that connected to _those_ streets and found where your diamond thieves unloaded their take. You’ll find the stolen ice in that shady pawn shop on fifteenth. They climbed to the top of the parking garage and jumped onto the roof of a nearby building and climbed down the fire escape.”

“Yato? You’re the best.”

“Thank you!” Yato said, humming happily. “Can you believe that I solved your case from the comfort of my own desk while watching Yukine changed out the chips in Mickey’s drawer?”

“Yato don’t make him take care of your mouse.”

“He’s a gerbil, and Yukine volunteered. They’ve really bonded you know!”

“That’s good to hear. Thanks, Yato, for the help.”

“Anything for you!”

* * *

 

“Good work, Hiyori!” Tenjin said, coming out of his office as Hiyori perp walked two very large, very frightened looking men to the holding cell. Yato thought that he’d never seen anything more beautiful. Two uniformed officers escorted the other two perps into the holding cell as Kiun followed with a sack full of diamonds.

“We couldn’t have done it without Yato,” Hiyori replied. “He actually did all the work right here from his desk.”

“It’s true, and he’s even going to bake Take an apology cake,” Kiun added. Tenjin glanced over at Yato, who was gazing unashamedly at Hiyori as she booked the perps into holding.

“And he was really cool today! He taught me how to catalog evidence and we burned all the moldy food in the refrigerator!” Yato, still transfixed by the love of his life manhandling armed robbers into a jail cell, didn’t notice that everyone was jumping onto the ‘let Yato back into the field’ train.

“Yato was very good today,” Kofuku added, smiling sweetly. The spell that Hiyori had placed on Yato with her awesomeness broke when she plopped down unceremoniously across from him and he noticed the analytical expression Tenjin was surveying him with. Yato looked at him with his best puppy dog eyes and folded his hands under his chin.

“I was very good today!” He said. Tenjin paused for a moment.

“Alright, when Take comes back you can go back into the field, until then you’re doing housekeeping.”

“Yahoo!” Yato said. He turned to Hiyori and grinned happily. “Why don’t we go get drinks together and tell each other about our days? I missed you!” Hiyori, about to say no out of habit, paused, then said yes.

“Alright.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m going with you to get drinks, I missed you too,” she leaned closer and lowered her voice conspiritally. “Kiun thinks that Natalie Wood’s death was an accident.”

“How can he even call himself a detective?”

“I don’t even know, but let’s get out of here, I have _so much_ to tell you.”

* * *

 

“ _What_? You _cheated_ on me?” Yato cried, sitting forward in his seat. The movement around them stopped as heads turned in their direction.

“I couldn’t help it!” Hiyori hissed. “I didn’t _want_ to do door duty without you, but we needed leads! Do you want to hear about the weirdo we met or not?”

“Just one weirdo?”

“Just one, and Kiun reacted really weirdly to it too.”

“Okay, tell me everything.”

* * *

 

“I can’t _believe_.”

“Kiun was even weirder than the owl guy! You need to make Take the magic feel better smoothie to get him back in the field sooner! I want my partner back. You at least can handle door duty.”

“HIYORI THAT’S SO SWEET!” Yato wailed. Hiyori rolled her eyes and smiled.

“Whatever,” she said. “How was your day, you’re getting along well with Yukine?”

“Oh yeah! He’s a good kid, he helped me all day, even after I accidentally obliterated him when I fell off a chair.”

“Well that was nice...”

“Yeah, I didn’t fall far, but Daikoku yelled at me.”

“He’s still mad about the chair thing, huh?”

“Yeah,” Yato said sullenly. “But I’ll get to work on that apology cake tomorrow. Maybe if Take isn’t mad anymore Daikoku will get off my case.”

“Well we can only hope,” Hiyori said. “So, hurry up with the smoothie.”

“Sorry, Hiyori, the smoothie only works with illnesses, not physical injuries.”

“Well that’s a bummer, and here I was thinking I’d be getting my partner back soon.”

“Well if it isn’t Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb,” Bishamon said, plopping down between them.

“You’re Tweedle Dumb!” Yato and Hiyori cried at the same time. Kazuma laughed as he sat down across from Bishamon.

“Hiyori, congratulations on the high-profile collar. Yato, good work on the men's room,” he said.

“I helped with the collar and you know it!” Yato said.

“What about you two?” Hiyori asked, “How was your day?”

“Chased a few leads, nothing panned out,” Bishamon replied.

“Bummer.”

“They can’t all be good days, Hiyori, come with me to get a drink.” Yato waited for the girls to get out of earshot before leaning towards Kazuma conspiritally.

“So, drinks after work,” he said suggestively. Kazuma sighed. “Have you given any thought to how you’re going to ask her out? I have a few boxes of stuff leftover from my last marriage proposal that I haven’t donated yet.”

“I’m _not_ using props and costumes to ask her out on a date, she’d shoot me.”

“You got me there, why don’t you shoot it into a wall or burn it into a field of crops, or something? She’d like that.”

“You give terrible advice.”

“Okay mister ‘silently pining for literal decades’ what do you have planned? More silent pining?” Yato raised an eyebrow triumphantly at Kazuma’s silence. “Okay, so for Bishamon you just gotta go for it, just ask her.”

“Right, because that’s realistic.”

“Just go for it! If you’re waiting for her to ask you, that’s a little middle school for your age, you’re a grown man who gets shot at for a living. How scary can a girl that we grew up with be?”

“Very scary, Yato! Very Scary!”

“You’re right,” Yato said with a shudder.

* * *

 

“So, sorry to crash your date, I didn’t know the two if you were here when I told Kazuma we were coming.”

“You told him? Not asked? Also, it’s not a date, we’re just hanging out.”

“And whose fault is that?” Bishamon asked coolly.

“Whose fault is it that Kazuma doesn’t know the two of you are on a date tonight?”

“I might tell him later. Maybe we’ll try again on a night we don’t run into that idiot Yato.”

“That idiot would probably be the best man at your wedding.”

“Shut up.” Hiyori chuckled and glanced back over her shoulder at Yato, who was grinning slyly at Kazuma. He caught Hiyori’s eye and winked, she winked back, beaming.

“They’re talking about you, you know,” Hiyori said when she turned back around.

“How can you tell?” Bishamon asked, lifting her eyes to the mirror over the bar, watching them.

“Yato is wearing the version of his mischief face that he wears when he smells romance in the air.”

“Maybe they’re talking about you.”

“If he wanted to talk about me he wouldn’t have waited until I was gone. He wouldn’t have wasted the alone time to talk about me.”

“You have a point. So why don’t we take this opportunity to talk about him?”

“Why don’t we talk about Kazuma?”

“I have that situation under control, but you on the other hand-”

“Alright fine. I’ve been trying to find the right time to ask him out, but I don’t know what that looks like.”

“So, stop waiting for the perfect moment and just ask him out! It’s not like he’s going to say _no_.”

“But he’s so into grand gestures, I should at least wait for the right _atmosphere_.” Bishamon chuckled.

“Hiyori, that poor man is so in love with you he thinks that you hung the moon and stars, you could jump him in a back alley next to a dumpster and he’d remember it as the best night of his life.”

“You might be right, but that doesn’t mean that I _should_. Even if it was upsetting at the time he _did_ put so much effort into those marriage proposals.”

“You know what, you’re right, you need to ask him on a date before the next time he proposes to you or it will be _way_ more awkward.”

“I could say ‘no, but I will go on a date with you.’”

“You’re right, then he’ll only cry a _little_. But doesn’t that feel a little bit like a consolation prize to you?”

“Dammit you’re right. So, what about you, are you planning on just ordering Kazuma to date you?”

“Maybe I’ll jump him in a back alley next to a dumpster.”

“Romantic, make sure to leave room for Yato and I.”

“Find your own dumpster.”

“Hiyori!” Yato crooned, waving, “hurry up!”

“Right, _he’s_ my dumpster. How could I have forgotten?” Bishamon laughed and carried her beer over to the table and sat down, leveling a look at Kazuma that set his ears burning.

_Okay, maybe she really does have a better handle on her situation than I do._

Yato observed this interaction and shot Hiyori a delighted look. She smiled back. He colored slightly under his eyes and Hiyori wondered if he saw something else in her smile.

While the two of them shared their moment Kazuma and Bishamon shared a knowing look.

 


	4. Halloween Heist: Quest for the Grail

Trumpets sounded through the precinct, startling its occupants, as Hiyori entered the bullpen dressed in her honorary regalia as Queen of the Nine-nine, a golden goblet in hand. Yukine followed after her, carrying a boombox. All heads turned towards her as Yato leaned back in his seat appreciatively- it wasn’t often that Hiyori put on a big show. 

“As defending champion I am exercising my right to introduce this years heist, and it’s target. So come one, come all, to Halloween Heist: Quest for the Grail. Your prize will be this-” she lifted the cup above her head dramatically- “goblet that I bought at a yardsale for two dollars last week. This heist is a free for all with all participants aiming to get the Grail for themselves.” She gestured to two uniformed officers waiting in the kitchen, who carried in a pedestal and set it in front of Hiyori before moving to stand three steps behind her on either side. 

“The Grail will be kept here, in full view of everyone.” Hiyori extended her arms and the officers stepped forward, removed her cape and crown, and swept out of the room. “The regalia will be kept in the break room until it is time for me to be re-crowned the victor.” She shot Yato a glowing look, no doubt she’d thought ‘what would Yato do’ while planning this ceremony. She gestured to Yukine and he clicked a button, a celebratory tune began to play. 

“Let the heist begin!”

Darkness engulfed the precinct. Yukine shouted in alarm and Yato leapt to his feet, fumbling for his phone to light the darkness. 

“What’s going on?” Yato shouted, finally locating his phone and turning on the flashlight, first turning it to where he’d heard Yukine scream. Yato located him clutching onto Hiyori like his life depended on it, looking terrified.  _ He’s afraid of the dark, _ Yato realized with a jolt. 

Another light shone, this time coming from Kiun’s desk, and it shone on the pedestal, where a coffee mug now sat. A cry of outrage cut through the darkness from the captains office before the lights switched back on, revealing the bullpen exactly the way it had been when the lights had shut off, save the missing relic. 

“What the hell happened?” Bishamon raged, looking ready to kill. 

“Hiyori, you’re the closest! You did this” Kiun accused. Hiyori looked scandalized, glancing over at Yato who had joined her at Yukine’s side to try and make him feel more safe. 

“How could I? As soon as the lights shut out Yukine grabbed onto me, I’ve been here the whole time!”

“We all saw her when I turned my flashlight on as soon as the light went out, she hadn’t moved, and her hands were full,” Yato said. “And before you go pointing more fingers, it wasn’t me either. It was someone callous and moral less!”

“Here we go,” Bishamon said. 

“It was that crazy chick!” Yato cried, throwing out his finger to point at Bishamon. 

“Whatever, you’re even more underhanded than I am, I bet it really was you and that you put it in the drawer with that filthy rat so no one would take it!”

“So you  _ admit  _ that you’re underhanded!” 

“Oh my God,” Bishamon said, rolling her eyes and looking at Kazuma for help. He merely shrugged. 

“Enough of this arguing,” he said after a moment, “the Grail is gone now, deal with it.” 

“Whatever, I’ll still be crowned at the end of the night.” 

“Yeah, right, you don’t have a chance this year,” Kiun said. 

“Bold words from someone who has never won.”

“I was on the winning team three years ago!”

“Yeah, but the  _ plan  _ belonged to Take, and he was crowned King. Guess what, your other half isn’t here because his flesh is still melted off!”

“You  _ really  _ shouldn’t be saying that so proudly,” Yukine commented, the whites of his eyes no longer visible all the way around his irises. 

Yato frowned and sat down slowly, casting his suspicious gaze all around the precinct. The rest of the officers were quick to follow suit, and though their eyes landed on their computers and paperwork, their backs were rigid and shoulders tense. Well, Kazuma was always like that, but for everyone else it was unusual. 

Several minutes passed in intense silence while the competitors tried to survey each other to find out who had the grail without the others noticing. In his office Captain Tenjin clicked his pen repeatedly, looking out at his underlings, wondering exactly which ones of them he was going to have to destroy in order to come out on top again. It had been far too long since he’d won. 

“I can’t find my mommy, is the the police house?” A high tremulous voice asked. Yato turned in his seat to see a little girl wearing a mask that covered the top half of her face and heavy face paint on the bottom half. Everyone glanced around suspiciously, wondering if this was a trick, before Hiyori got to her feet and approached the little girl carefully. 

“Yes, sweetie, this is a police station, we’re police officers and we can help you find your mommy. Can you tell me her name?”

“Her name is mommy!” Hiyori cast Yato a helpless look. He got to his feet and knelt next to Hiyori. 

“Can you tell us your name?” 

Her eyes widened in horror beneath the mask and she backed away, drawing her thumb up into her mouth. Hiyori cast him a shut up look and Yato retreated to lean on Kazuma’s desk quietly, pretending that he wasn’t watching the little girl. Once it was clear Hiyori had a handle on the situation attention shifted away from them, and no one else saw the mischievous look that the little girl shot him. Yato just thanked his lucky stars that Hiiro had always been small for her age, and an amazing actor to boot. 

“Bishamon, maybe you should help Hiyori out, you’re weirdly good with kids despite the fact that you have no soul.” Bishamon shot Yato an annoyed look and got to her feet and approached the desk. 

She crouched by the little girls side and smiled gently, extending her hand and introducing herself. Yato shook his head incredulously as Bishamon made a piece of candy appear seemingly out of thin air. Kazuma looked on, face full of soft affection.  _ I don’t know why he thinks it’s a secret, he’s almost as obvious as I am. _

“You’ve got it pretty bad, huh?” Yato asked, giving Kazuma a knowing smile. His eyes strayed to Hiyori. “Same hat.”

“What?”

“Yukine taught it to me, it means ‘me too.’”

“Oh.” Kazuma sighed. “What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know about you but I’m going to defeat and humiliate the love of my life in a petty competition and then hold it over her head for weeks.”

“Not likely, this is going to be my year.”

“You  _ always  _ say that, and it’s  _ never  _ your year.”

“I’m going to win this year for sure.”

“It’s never going to happen, you’re not sneaky.”

“I can be sneaky!” Kazuma protested. “You’ll see, I’ll figure out who has the grail!”

“If you don’t know, then you’re already behind.”

“You’re bluffing.” He was. 

“Am not, and we  _ all  _ know that it’s not you.”

* * *

 

Tenjin was proud of the precinct he had cultivated over the years. His detectives were talented and intelligent, and though they had their issues they were a team and they had each others back when they needed it. That being said, he was planning on tearing them apart. He got to his feet and opened his door, standing in the entryway to his office as he often did when he was mulling over a problem. He looked at each detective in turn, Yato and Kazuma chatting at Kazuma’s desk, Bishamon and Hiyori trying to cajole a name out of the little girl, and Kiun pretending to be working. Kofuku and Daikoku had taken the night off to go on a date, deciding not to participate in the heist this year. 

Hiyori and Yato were out as suspected thieves of the Grail. Even if one of them had arranged the power outage, both of them had leapt to Yukine’s side when he’d screamed and hadn’t had the opportunity to take it. Kiun was the next closest, but had seemed genuinely shocked when the glass was gone, and he wasn’t that good of an actor. The only other viable suspect was Bishamon, who was agile and intelligent. She was perfectly capable of pulling this off. But where had she hidden the Grail?

She seemed quite at ease as she spoke with the little girl, trying to gain her trust enough to get her name and find her mommy. No doubt the Grail was hidden in a secure location, but where?

There was only so far even she could have spanned round trip in that short amount of time, however. The nearest option was the kitchen, but Tenjin knew that it was out of the question. The kitchen was a high traffic area, making the risk for the accidental discovery of the Grail far too likely. It was much more likely to be someplace that few people looked, perhaps the ceiling? He glanced surreptitiously over her person and desk, there didn’t appear to be any ceiling dust in her hair or on her desk, which didn’t necessarily rule out the ceiling, but made it far less likely. 

He looked around the room carefully, aware of suspicious eyes on him but paid them no mind. He brought up the precinct’s layout in his mind, mapping out the possible paths Bishamon could have taken. He desk was right next to the hallway that led to the bathroom. That hallway led to several places in the precinct, but most of them were too far even for Bishamon, as terrifying as she was, she wasn’t the Flash. She  _ could  _ have hidden it in the ladies room, which would protect it from all but one of her opponents, but the bathrooms were poor hiding places. 

The briefing room, the interrogation room, and the supply closet were also on that hallway, and all at once he realized. The Grail was in the supply closet. Yato and Kazuma were talking, neither of them looking at him, a perp had just been handed to Kiun for trespassing, and Bishamon and Hiyori were still busy with the little girl. Tenjin slipped away quietly and walked casually down the hall, as if nothing were out of the ordinary.

* * *

 

Yukine walked past Yato and Kazuma on his way to the breakroom and Yato excused himself from the conversation, following Yukine to the vending machine. Yukine's eyes him suspiciously. 

“Hey, kid, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, why?”

“Well because earlier you looked like someone had a gun to your head just because the lights turned off. That’s a pretty severe fear.”

“Shut up asshole, what do you know?”

“Hey, hey now,” Yato said, raising his hands in surrender, “I’m not making fun of you. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, plenty of people are afraid of the dark.”

“Yeah, and all of them are little kids,” Yukine grumbled, face flaming. 

“Not true, I’ve known grown adults afraid of the dark, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

“The other kids at the group home all make fun of me for it.”

“Well what do they know? They’re a bunch of kids. Seriously, Yukine, I’m telling you, don’t worry about it.” Yato wrapped an arm around Yukine’s shoulder which was promptly thrown off. 

“Get your hands off me, sweaty,” Yukine said, but there was no venom in his tone. Yato backed up a few steps and gave Yukine an appraising look. 

“How’d you like to be on the winning team for your first ever Halloween Heist, kid?” 

“Thanks, but no thanks. I helped Hiyori with the boom box because she promised to tutor me in math, but I’m not going to participate in this dumb game.”

“Aww, come on, I’ll buy you an ice cream!”

“How old do you think I am, exactly? Six?”

“You mean to to tell me that you’re not?” Yato asked sarcastically. Yukine rolled his eyes and inserted his coins into the vending machine and punched in the code for his Bugles. 

“I’m not going to help you with your stupid game. I’ve seen your marriage proposals online-”

“You found more?” Yato exclaimed excitedly. Yukine ignored him. 

“I don’t want any part in whatever it is you have planned.”

“Oh come on, Yukine, heists like this require subtly and subterfuge, not theatrics and fireworks. There’s a time and a place for those things-”

“And it seems to me that you have yet to find them, seeing as how Hiyori isn’t wearing a ring.” Yato clasped his chest in dismay. 

“That’s so mean!” Yukine shrugged disinterestedly and left the room. Yato was so busy nursing his new wound he didn’t see the consipirital look exchanged between Yukine and Hiyori.

* * *

 

Tenjin lifted the Grail from the soapy mop water as if he were drawing it from the crystal clear waters of the lake of Avalon and lifted it above his head in silent triumph, suds and dirty water streaming down his forearm to his elbow and soaking into his rolled up sleeve. He was unbothered. Bishamon thought that she had this heist in the bag but she was wrong. Sneaking into his office and closing the door quietly was almost  _ too  _ easy. He text Tsuyu to call his office, and when she did she picked up he asked her to wait a moment and he closed the blinds as if he’d wanted privacy for his phone call. Then he reminded Tsuyu that they were out of milk and hung up. 

He climbed onto a waiting chair with a screwdriver in hand and removed the grate on the vent and placed the Grail inside. He smiled to himself, brushed off the dust from his hands, and re-opened his blinds, smiling to himself. He had the Grail. The crown was his.

* * *

 

At Hiyori’s desk Yukine leaned down and whispered something in Hiyori’s ear. Bishamon, engaged in a game with Hiiro, didn’t notice, Hiiro, pretending to be engaged in a game with Bishamon, did. Hiyori suppressed a small smile and nodded, then handed him a file. He took it and left without another word. Hiiro narrowed her eyes and looked to where her brother was processing an egger at Bishamon’s desk. Yukine was definitely working with Hiyori. 

Hiyori hummed slightly and spun her chair around, glancing around Tenjin’s office quickly before turning back around. Yukine had had some very useful information about a mysterious bulge in the captain’s coat pocket when he’d emerged from the supply closet and slipped wordlessly into his office again. Hiyori was sure that Bishamon had taken the Grail and Tenjin had taken it from her. There was no reason to tell Bishamon this, let her go on thinking that the Grail was hidden safely away, that would make it easier for Hiyori to keep it safe once she obtained it. 

Hiyori wrote something down and subtly signalled to Yukine, who walked past and picked up the paper all in one motion. He stopped to recline against a wall and Hiiro glanced around, pretending to be startled by the criminals that were being brought in and out while she looked around for what Yukine might have just been assigned to keep watch over. Hiyori knocked and Yukine’s eyes cut to the office window, a dead giveaway. She didn’t know how, but the Captain had stolen the Grail from Bishamon without her knowing and hidden it in his office. Hiyori knocked on the door to spook him and Yukine’s task was to watch where he looked, which would give away the position of the Grail.

* * *

 

“Captain I just wanted to let you know we got a first name out of the girl, still nothing on the mother’s name, but we’ve gotten a rough description of the girl and her costume out to all the officers in this precinct and the bordering ones, still nothing. She says she’ll be in trouble if she takes off her costume so we can’t get a good look at her face.”

“Good work, she seems very young so she probably doesn’t understand that taking off the makeup will help us find her mother, and forcing her too will only make her trust us less.”

“Oh, and one other thing, she seemed afraid of Yato, and he thinks that she’s probably afraid of all men, but I think it’s just possible that she’s afraid of Yato because of the way that he is.”

“Probably, but keep her away from the other men just in case, Kazuma isn’t gifted with kids and Kiun is well… he’s just plain weird and would probably freak her out. You and Bishamon keep her busy.”

“Yes, sir.” When she sat down at her desk Yukine wordlessly handed her a file with a handwritten note tucked inside. Hiyori smiled, everything was going according to plan. At that moment the little girl accidentally knocked the jenga tower over right on top of Hiyori’s head. 

_ Well, almost everything _ , she thought.

* * *

 

Hiiro needed an opening to talk to Yato, but Bishamon and Hiyori were watching her like hawks. Probably they didn’t love the idea of losing a child who was already lost but in a building full of guns and criminals this time. Yato  _ needed  _ to know that Yukine and Hiyori had formed an alliance and were about to get their hands on the Grail. She  _ refused  _ to have sucked her thumb and talked in this stupid voice so no one would recognize her for nothing. 

_ Dammit _ , she thought.  _ If I can’t talk to Yato directly then what can I do? I need to get somewhere private to text him, because if they see I have a phone they’ll know I’m not a helpless and lost little girl. There are only four hours until midnight, if Yato can get ahold of it, then he can keep it that long.  _

“I need to use the bathroom,” Hiiro said, a little louder than necessary, hoping to catch Yato’s attention. It worked, and he could see him giving her a questioning look but now Hiyori and Bishamon were focused on her so she couldn’t look his way. She also couldn’t risk using one of their secret signals from when they were kids because Kazuma would recognize them almost for sure. 

“Can you take her? I’ve got a lot of paperwork to do,” Hiyori said, and Hiiro knew she was planning on using this opportunity to make her move on the grail. Bishamon nodded and took Hiiro by the hand and led her to the bathroom. 

“Do you need any help?” Bishamon asked kindly. 

“No thank you, I’m a big girl I can go by myself.”

“That’s awesome!” Bishamon said, injecting just the right amount of fake astonishment for such a proud occasion into her voice. Hiiro couldn’t even be disgusted because of how surprised she was by Bishamon being  _ this  _ good with kids. It was weird. 

Hiiro slipped into the stall and fished her phone out of her large kimono sleeve and text Yato as fast as she could. 

_ Hiyori and Yukine aligned, Tenjin has Grail, Hiyori to extract NOW _

She sent the message and waited until she got Yato’s usual unintelligible mixture of emojis back before locking her phone and dropping it into her sleeve. Now that she was here, she actually kinda  _ did  _ need to use the bathroom.

* * *

 

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay in there? The air conditioning vents don’t seem like the safest place to be,” Yukine said, sounding concerned.

“Don’t worry, the heating and cooling systems are separated and it’s the middle of winter, the system isn’t on and the vents are wide enough for me.”

“You’ve been in them before?”

“Sure have,” she said jovially. “I’ll tell you about it sometime later.”

“Was it for another Halloween Heist?”

“One of the times, but not the other.”

“How much time do you spend in the ceiling exactly?”

“More than the insurance company knows about that for sure. The department would get into so much trouble if they knew we climbed around up here sometimes.”

“So why do you?”

“Gotta do what you gotta do, I have a title to defend!” With that Hiyori stepped onto the chair Yukine had fetched for her and lifted herself into the ceiling in one smooth move.

She climbed through the vents, careful to move slowly and evenly so that her weight wouldn’t displace the ceiling and send white chip raining down in the precinct, thus revealing her purpose and presence. Despite her cautious movements she was at the Captain’s office in no time. In the place of the Grail she left a DVD copy of ‘Ocean’s 8’ as a joke and then slipped back out of the vents. 

Yukine looked stunned when she dropped to the ground, grail in hand, and grinned at him. He put it in his backpack as planned and headed to the roof, where last week Hiyori had shown him the place Yato used to keep his shame cigarettes before he quit smoking and started stress knitting.

* * *

 

Yato and Hiiro exchanged meaningful looks when Yukine went out on the roof while Bishamon was calling other precincts to see if they had a mom looking for her daughter to match their daughter looking for her mom. Now all Yato had to do was get the Grail, but how? Hiiro, his only minion, was tied up with Bishamon, but Hiyori and Yukine were free to notice if Yato tried to go onto the roof. What could they do? 

Kazuma was in the bathroom, which meant as soon as Bishamon turned her head she could signal to Yato her plan. Bishamon thanked the officer she was talking too, hung up the phone, and dialed the next precinct. Hiiro looked around quickly and gestured to Kiun. Yato’s eyes lit up and he nodded, understanding. 

Kiun was going to be their patsy.

* * *

 

It wasn’t hard to guide Kiun to the Grail’s location, he was a detective after all, not to mention, he had no idea that Yato actually knew any better than he did where the Grail was. All Yato had to do was plant the seed and then have his inside girl, Hiiro, bring it home by loudly asking Yukine if he could take her outside to play with him too next time. Next she created a distraction by crying loudly to give Kiun the perfect opportunity to slip outside and steal the Grail ten minutes until midnight.

While Bishamon and Hiyori were busy trying to figure out what to do with her if her mom didn’t come by the end of their shift Hiiro got up from her seat and tugged on the heavier one of Kiun’s kimono sleeves. What he  _ didn’t  _ notice was her sly pick pocket hands splitting the seam of his sleeve with her switchblade and dropping the grail into her own pocket while Yato set up her dramatic reveal. Two minutes to midnight Hiiro slipped into the break room and began taking off her makeup.

* * *

 

“Wait, where’s the girl?” Bishamon asked. 

“Don’t worry about her, crazy bitch, have you checked your watch?” Yato crooned. 

“What the hell, why are you being so creepy? What did you do to her? Who cares about the stupid heist when the kid is missing?”

“I didn’t do anything, and she’s not missing, and I care. I care because I won.” 

“Yeah, right,” Kiun said, “ _ I  _ have the-” he reached into his sleeve and noticed the ripped seam.  “What the hell, I just had it! I stole it from Hiyori!”

“What?” Bishamon asked, “I have the grail.” Tenjin stepped out of his office, for some reason holding a DVD copy of  _ Ocean’s Eight _ . 

“No, you don’t, I took it from you at the beginning of the night, and Hiyori must have taken it from me.”

“And Kiun took it from Hiyori,” Yato finished. “And  _ I  _ took it from him.”

“How?”

“With the help of my trusty accomplice.”

“Where is this accomplice?” Bishamon asked skeptically. 

A hissing noise emanating from the break room and smoke began to fill the doorway. 

“Oh she’s just preparing for her dramatic entrance.” At his words Hiiro walked out of the break room wreathed in smoke make-up and mask free, appearing, for a moment, to be the phantom that she was pretending to be, She walked with triumph, the Grail held proudly before her. 

“Hiiro!” The assembled crowd said as one, their faces wearing matching expressions of delight and surprise. It had been a long time since any of them had gotten to see her. 

“That’s right!” Yato said, “It was Hiiro who-”

“Who pretended to be a little girl who could spy for you, we get it,” Bishamon said, looking pissed. Yato, annoyed, continued. 

“Yes, and it was Hiiro who-”

“Stole the Grail when she told me my costume was like hers, yeah, we’re detectives, we figured it out.” Yato glared at him. 

“So you’ll know that it’s  _ me  _ who should have the honor of crowning my older brother King of the Nine Nine,” Hiiro proclaimed. 

“I couldn’t agree more,” Tenjin said warmly, “seeing as how you did all the work for him.”

“I think Hiiro should be Queen of the Nine Nine, honestly,” Hiyori said. 

“Yeah, she was really the star tonight,” Kazuma affirmed. 

“Whatever, you guys are just mad that you lost!” Yato said. “It’s time for my coronation.”

* * *

“I hereby Proclaim Yato, my older brother and legal guardian, the ultimate detective slash genius, and King of the Nine Nine!” Hiiro said, placing the crown onto his head, holding her chin high. 

“If I’m king that makes you a princess, which means you can boss all these losers around,” Yato said, grinning. 

“Right, my first order of business is that someone should buy me ice cream. Now. The ice cream at school is terrible. I want moose tracks or chocolate chip cookie dough!”

“Coming right up,” Kazuma said, getting up from his seat and walking with Hiiro to the ice cream bar. 

Usually after the heists the detective squad went out for drinks, but Yato deigned that inappropriate since Hiiro and Yukine were with them and whisked them all away to an ice cream store that was open late. 

“So,” Hiyori said, “your majesty, I’m surprised you were able to keep such a big secret.”

“I didn’t, not really.”

“Explain.”

“I  _ told  _ you she was coming home for the holidays, I just didn’t specify which ones.”

“Okay, so that’s a  _ technicality _ . How did you convince the headmaster to let you bring her home for the weekend?”

“He begged and cried a lot and got snot all over everything,” Hiiro called from the ice cream bar. Yato laughed along with the group. 

Tonight was a good night. 


	5. Steakout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bishamon and Kazuma stake out a meat processing plant, Yato and hiyori freak out about Hiyori’s mom’s incoming visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is a bit rough I have two lit classes and also wrote 2 chapters of Kung Fu Panda yesterday I'm TIRED.

Yato was distracted from the conversation he was having at Daikoku’s desk when Hiyori brushed past him and dropped a large bag onto his own desk before plopping down disheartenedly in her own desk. 

“Hold on a sec sarge,” he said. He approached his desk and peered into the bag, realization dawning when he saw his love quilt among other things. “Your mom is coming for another visit, huh?” Hiyori nodded, looking harried. 

“I’ve been scouring my apartment ever since she told me, but I’ve had to work late every day this week. I just need you to hold onto that stuff until she leaves.” Yato peered inside the bag and shifted things around, making mental notes of all the gifts he’d given her that might give her pause. 

“What about the throw pillow and the needlepoint in the guestroom?” Hiyori smacked her forehead. 

“I forgot.”

“What’s all this?” Yukine asked, rummaging unceremoniously through the bag. He pulled out a mug reading “Yato loves Hiyori!” that he’d made at Color Me Mine. 

“Things that Yato has made for me,” Hiyori said tiredly, “or some of the ones that are implicitly romantic.” Yukine looked back into the bag, brow furrowed. 

“All of this? Is that a quilt?”

“Our love quilt!”

“Why are you giving them back? Turning him down for real this time?”

“No!” Yato said defensively. “Her mother is coming for a visit and she  _ hates  _ me. If she sees all this stuff she’ll have a stroke.”

“They gave me an extra coffee,” Kazuma said, setting it down in front of Yato but picking it back up and giving it to Hiyori when he glimpsed into the bag of gifts. “You need this more.”

“Thanks, Kazuma,” she said. Yato took Kazuma’s coffee from his hand and had a sip of it instead. 

“When’s she getting in?” Kazuma asked, pulling out a scarf that had Hiyori’s and Yato’s initials knitted inside a heart at one end. Yato wrinkled his nose at the sight of it. 

“I wish you’d just throw that away and let me make you a new one. Look at that sloppy stitch work!” Kazuma took his coffee back, annoyed, as Hiyori snatched the scarf away protectively. 

“No way! It’s the first thing you ever knitted and that makes it special! Plus, it’s very warm!” Yato huffed, half annoyed that the scarf still existed and half pleased Hiyori liked it enough to feel protective of it.

“You made me go to that couples knitting class with you. The scarf must live on as a monument to my suffering,” Kazuma said. 

“So Yato just… makes stuff for Hiyori obsessively?” Yukine asked. 

“Not just Hiyori,” Kazuma replied, “he made this shirt for me, it’s got my name sewn in the back like I’m a kid or something.”

“That’s right!” Yato said, turning to look at the shirt better, “I didn’t recognize it at first. It’s held up well.” Kazuma nodded.

“The stitch work looks fine, by the way, you’re just nit picking,” Kazuma said as he departed. When he sat down Bishamon picked up his coffee and took a drink of it. Kazuma watched her, wide eyed, and then looked back at Yato and shook his head slightly. Yato snickered,  _ hahaha you just drank after me! _

“Did you remember to bring the wedding dress Yato sewed for you?” Kofuku called from across the precinct. Hiyori screamed loudly in response and hit her head on the desk, drawing Tenjin’s attention. He came out of his office, looking concerned. 

“What’s wrong, Hiyori?”

“Her mom is coming for a visit and she forgot half the things Yato made for her so her mom is going to have a heart attack,” Daikoku interjected. Tenjin grimaced sympathetically. 

“Is noone going to explain the wedding dress thing?” Yukine asked. 

“Kofuku get the paperwork ready.”

“Already on it!”

“No! There won’t be a report because Hiyori and I are going to use our lunch break to get the rest of it! I’ll drive and we can put it in my car.” 

“Thank you,” Hiyori replied gratefully, taking a deep swig of her coffee like it was whiskey. 

“A report? I don’t understand,” Yukine asked. 

“Hiyori’s mom filed a harassment report on Yato when she found out what a weirdo he is,” Bishamon said. 

“It was a whole ordeal,” Kiun added, “she can yell really loudly.” 

“Take an extra hour for lunch to make sure you get it all, I’m not eager to go through that again.”

* * *

 

“Alright, all of our equipment is set up, I think we’re good to go,” Kazuma said, looking around the rundown room with satisfaction. 

“Great,” Bishamon said, plopping down in front of their surveillance window. 

“You’re not going to double check?”

“Are you implying you haven’t triple checked everything? If you say we’re good then we’re good.” 

“Good point.”

“What would I do without you?” She asked without heart.

“More menial tasks, for certain,” he replied, sitting down at the other window. Bishamon snickered. 

“Thank you for taking care of everything, Kazuma,” she said, grinning. 

“You’re welcome.” 

“Tell me again about the case, you probably know the file by heart.”

“Did you  _ read  _ it before we came?”

“You know it’s so much more enjoyable to have things read to you.” Kazuma sighed and pulled out his copy of the case file. 

“We’re here for four days to try and gather intel and evidence on the Garner Meat Processing Plant.”

“Why are we staking out a meat processing place?”

“We traced most of the illegal animal products and byproducts flooding the ninety ninth precinct to this plant. We believe they are the distributor for a much larger, possibly international smuggling ring.”

“What kind of animal products are we talking?”

“Meat from endangered animals, ground rhinoceros horn, that sort of thing.”

“Gross and terrible.”

“Agreed. Viina! Start taking pictures! That’s our guy!” Viina sat up quickly and started taking pictures.

“Who is he?”  _ Click click click. _

“He’s the plant manager. We don’t know for sure if the owner is clued into the operations here since he’s rarely on site, but the manager is the active liaison between the sellers and the buyers. He can give us his contact who will have all the information we need to find out exactly how big this operation is.” 

“Who is the guy he’s meeting with right now?”  _ Click click click.  _

“Not sure, he’s not in the file. He could be just a random worker in the plant, or maybe someone from the ring.” Kazuma grabbed the parabolic microphone and directed it towards the men. 

“The police have been sniffing around here, Jason, what the hell? I thought we told you to be careful!” The strange man said. 

“We have been being careful! They came by and they didn’t get nothing, they left!”

“They were  _ here _ ?”

“Yeah, but I’ve already talked to all of my guys, the problem wasn’t with them! None of them talked!” Jason said, whispering angrily.  _ Click click click. _

“So you say, but my boss isn’t satisfied. Call all of your customers and be sure they haven’t talked. I’ll be in contact.” The man started to walk away, but stopped and turned back around. “We won’t go down because of your stupid mistakes, Jason. You had better hope that we don’t find any leaks in your operation.” The man got in his car and left.  _ Click click click. _

“Send the plate to Yato and have him run it, maybe we’ll get a name. And tell him to tell Tenjin to let up on our sources, they know we’re looking into them and they might spook.”

“Right.”

* * *

 

“Okay, two-three-Rebecca-Hiyori-Mickey-Five. Yeah, I’m running it now. Yeah, I’ll let him know, I think sarge is in charge of the informants though, so I’ll let him know too,” Yato said, writing down information as Kazuma relayed it. “Okay, here we go, your guy’s name is Gregory Harrison. Looks like he’s got a few priors for possession of illegal substances. One was pot, but two of them were for having elephant ivory. Looks like he’s one of your bad guys.”

“Thanks Yato.”

Yato hung up the phone and took his notepad into Tenjin’s office. 

“Captain, looks like Bishamon and Kazuma have a problem, the suppliers are spooked, they know that the police are looking into Garner and they’re thinking of pulling out. Kazuma says we need to relieve all pressure on them and their customers and make them think we gave up.” 

“Alright, tell Sargent Daikoku I’ve signed off and to let the downstairs sargent know to reduce uniform presence on their street.” 

“Sure thing.” Yato closed the door and relayed his information to the sargent before sitting back at his desk. 

“Did I hear you telling Tenjin that the people supplying Garner know about our investigation?”

“Yeah, you did,” Yato said, looking troubled. 

“Do you think Bishamon and Kazuma are in danger of being made?”

“Kazuma didn’t seem to think it was an issue, but I’m sure he’ll be taking extra security measures.” Hiyori nodded grimly. 

“I wish there was something we could do, just sitting here and waiting is the hardest part.” Yato nodded in agreement. “At least you can go out in the field and distract yourself with real police work, I’m stuck here at my desk doing paperwork.” Hiyori gave him a sympathetic look. 

“How did Take like that apology cake?”

“He said he’s not mad anymore, and his mom asked for the recipe.” Hiyori smiled. 

“Did you give it to her?”

“Of course! Cooking is an art that should be shared!” Yato said. Hiyori giggled, rolling her eyes playfully. 

“Have you ever considered quitting your job to be a kindergarten teacher, all those arts and crafts are a practically your calling.”

“No way! There’s nothing as good as taking bad guys of the streets. Plus I think if I ever used my scary face on a kid I’d get sued by the parents.” Hiyori barked a laugh.

“I’d be booking you for making a kid pee their pants.” Yato laughed. 

“Nah, the nine nine is where I belong! It’s where you are!” Yato said, expecting an eye roll and snide remark instead getting a glowing look that took his breath away. “I-uh,” he said, blinking. “Um, sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Yato, if I didn’t like all your flirting I would have reported you to HR a long time ago.” 

Yato’s mouth gaped open like a fish.  _ Like it? _

No, she hadn’t meant it like that, of course she hadn’t. He shook his head and got to his feet and went out on the roof for some fresh air. It had been a while since he’d reacted to something she’d said like that. What was happening to him? He and Hiyori had found a balance where he could be okay around her, why was he suddenly choking up again?  _ Get a hold of yourself, detective. _

* * *

 

“First comes the initial police report, then the investigators reports, then the witness list and statements,” Kofuku said, handing Yukine all the documents as she named them, pointing out identifying features so Yukine could recognize them more easily. 

“And.. that’s all that you put in the middle?”

“Yes!” Kofuku said. “You attach suspect lists and wrap sheets to the inside of the front cover. 

“What if they don’t have a criminal record?”

“Then you attach any background information that you’re given. You won’t be the one looking for that, you just assemble the files and distribute them. You still are accessing confidential police information, and leaking this information is a misdemeanor at best. So remember, what you see in the precinct stays in the precinct.” 

“Right,” Yukine replied. Why would he want to talk about stranger’s criminal records to people anyway?

“Repeat to me how you assemble police files and then I’ll leave you alone to do your work.” 

“Suspects on the inside of the front cover with their records or backgrounds, and in order, in the middle prongs: Initial police report, report by investigators, then witness lists, and statements.”

“Good boy, Yuki! You’ll do great here!” Yukine sighed and looked at the large stack of police files he was supposed to be assembling. It was a going to be a long day. At least when his suspension was over he’d just be here after school and on weekends.  _ Until then every day of my life will just be a blur of papercuts and mugshots I guess. _

* * *

 

“Viina, what do you- holy  _ shit _ ,” Kazuma completely lost sight of whatever it was he had been about to ask when he turned around and looked at Viina, whose long hair was actually down and hanging free for once. 

“What?” She asked, wide eyed and oblivious. 

“Your  _ hair _ .” 

“Oh, that. I forgot you haven’t seen it down since the academy, huh?”

“Yeah.” His eyes followed her hair all the way from the top of her head, across her shoulders,down her back, past her waist, to where it ended at the back of her calves. 

“How in the hell can your neck hold all that up?”

“It’s not  _ that  _ heavy.” Kazuma raised his eyebrows. 

“How much of your weight does your doctor think is  _ hair _ .”

“I’ve never asked.” Kazuma continued to stare, lips parted. “Come on it can’t be  _ that  _ much of a shock.”

“Viina…” Kazuma said weakly. Just… the  _ thought _ of all that hair. How much shampoo and conditioner did she use? Did she ever get tangled up in it in her sleep? Did it ever get caught in closing doors? “It’s… beautiful.. But…  _ how _ ?” She chuckled at his inability to formulate a complete thought. 

“What a surprise, I’ve never seen you speechless before, if I’d known you’d be this inarticulate I’d have taken my hair down sooner.” 

“I have to ask about the practicality.”

“I know you do.”

“What do you spend on  _ shampoo _ ?”

“I use like a bottle a week.”

“ _ Holy shit _ .” 

“Before you ask, I usually put it in a single braid before sex so it doesn’t get in the way.” Kazuma spluttered. 

“I was certainly not about to ask you that.”

“Well now you know,” she said, winking, “just in case.” She laughed as his face flamed. “Relax, Kazuma, you’re too high strung.”

“I think you should be less relaxed, Viina.” She laughed again. 

“Don’t be so uptight, Kazuma, it’s not good for your health.”

“I think you might be bad for my health.”

“Maybe that’s just what you need,” She said suggestively. Kazuma gulped and turned back to the window, face still red as a beet.

* * *

 

“Okay, okay, I have the throw pillow, the needlepoint, the bath set that I made for valentines day, and the knitted socks,” Yato said, checking things off on his fingers. 

“And I have the Wedding dress, the underwear which I  _ never wore _ , and the box full of love letters.”

“You kept them?” Yato asked, starting to feel some of that heat rising up to choke him again before he pushed it back.

“Of course! It’s not like they were normal letters, Yato, one of them was a handmade pop-up card, one was an origami flower that opened up into a picture you had drawn, it would have been wrong to just throw them away!” She said indignantly. Yato eyed the box, then had a  _ great _ idea. 

“Do you wanna take them all out and rate them?”

“Oh my god so much.” She dropped the underwear into the box and draped the wedding dress carefully over a chair before sitting in front of the coffee table and starting to make room for the love letters. Yato knelt beside her and started helping before they both reached for a coffee table book at the same time and met eyes. 

“The scrapbooks!” They exclaimed at the same time. Hiyori got to her feet and bolted around the furniture while Yato leapt over obstacles, racing her to the bookshelf. 

Yato reached it first, stopping just short of the shelf, waving his arms to keep his balance. Hiyori, however, was wearing only her socks and found herself unable to stop. She slid, flailing her arms and squealing, and collided with Yato, forcing him forward and into the bookshelf. He attempted to catch his balance on one of the shelves, but instead vaulted the books into the air and went crashing to the ground, taking Hiyori and half a dozen books with him. 

He landed on the ground and got hit in the face by several books as Hiyori fell gracelessly on top of him, elbow digging into his diaphragm, knocking the breath out of him. Hiyori laughed breathlessly as Yato coughed and wheezed, trying to catch his breath. 

“Oh my God I’m so sorry,” she laughed, climbing off him and covering her mouth as she tried- and failed- to conceal her laughter at his expense. 

“For the record I won, you cheated by trying to kill me.” Hiyori laughed again and picked a few of the books out from around his face. 

“I acknowledge your victory. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he took several long, painful breaths, trying to catch his breath. “You have very pointy elbows.” 

“All elbows are pointy!” Hiyori protested. “That’s just the way they are!”

“Yeah right! You’ve had yours filed down into a weapon or something!”

“Where in the hell would I even go to get that done?”

“Like you don’t already know!” Hiyori pushed him back down, laughing. 

“Whatever! You’re so weird!” 

“Am not!”

“Are so- hey what’s this?” One of the books had that nailed Yato in the face landed with its front cover open. “I don’t remember there being an inscription here.”

_ Dear Hiyori _ , it read, in sloppy handwriting. 

_ You’re the most beautiful and wonderful girl in the world! _

Hiyori turned narrowed eyes on Yato, who was looking at the inscription curiously. It was certainly  _ his  _ handwriting, but it was terrible, which was unusual for him. 

“I...don’t remember this.” Hiyori blinked. She flipped the front cover closed to see what book it was. 

“I’ve had this book since college, before I knew you. What is this?”

“I don’t know,” Yato said, taking the book and re opening it to the inscription. “I can tell the handwriting is mine but...was I drunk?” 

“Yato oh my God,” Hiyori said with dawning horror, “did you get drunk and write love notes in my books?” Yato looked from Hiyori to the bookshelf, horrified. Hiyori had  _ so many  _ books. 

“Hiyori… I don’t know which books I wrote in.”

* * *

 

“Hold on, hold on Hiyori,” Kofuku said, barely containing her laughter as she beckoned everyone to her desk. She knocked on the window that separated her from Tenjin and waved him out, putting her phone on speaker. “Okay, go now,” she said when everyone was huddled around curiously. 

“Tell Tenjin that Yato and I need more time for lunch!” She said, sounding furious. There was a strange thudding sound in the background of her call. 

“I already gave you an extra hour, why do you need more time?” Tenjin asked. 

“Because apparently at some point Yato got blackout drunk and broke into my apartment and wrote love notes on my books, but he doesn’t remember which ones so we have to check  _ all  _ of them!” She said. Another loud thud as Hiyori slammed a book on the ground. 

“I already said I was sorry!” Yato cried. 

“You are  _ unbelievable _ ! Why would you do something like this?”

“I told you I don’t know! I don’t even remember doing it! I’m sorry!” 

At this point Kofuku was silently laughing so hard her face was turning red and Yukine was worried she might pass out. Daikoku looked like he was regretting ever having known Yato and Kuin was looking absolutely delighted. He had his phone out texting Takemikazuchi about this as they spoke. 

“About how long do you think this will take?”

“At least another hour, we’re flipping through all the pages to be safe.”

“Hiyori you might want to take the rest of the day,” Kiun said, laughing, “Yato is crazy and you might want to do a deep search of your apartment.”

“Kiun is right, Yato’s obsessive pursuit of you could lead to  _ me  _ being yelled at by your mother, and I have no desire to relive that. Yato can do some unpaid overtime to make up for the lost man hours.” 

“Hey! I didn’t agree to that!” Yato said. 

“Well suck it up detective, this is  _ your  _ fault.” 

“I said I’m sorry!”

“Apologize with overtime!” Tenjin said, then terminated the call.

* * *

 

“Is Hiyori texting you about what’s going on with them?” Kazuma asked, looking at his phone, exasperated. 

“What an idiot,” she said by way of response.  _ So yes. _

“I can’t figure out when he might have done it, Hiyori had to have been away.”

“It must have been during a holiday when she stayed with her family, or maybe during that stakeout she did with me a few years ago? When else- Kazuma, there’s activity.”

Kazuma sat up and looked out the window, finger on the shutter button of the camera ready to capture photos. 

“It’s that same guy, Greg. Get the parabolic microphone, we need to hear this.”

_ “So I’ve asked around, and I found the leak on your end.” _

_ “What do you mean?” Jason asked, looking nervous.  _ Greg grabbed a handful of Jason’s shirt and slammed Jason against the wall.  _ Click click click _ . Kazuma took several pictures. 

_ “It seems you’ve been employing low level two bit thugs to push our products. One of them got picked up by the cops while he was holding some of  _ our  _ merchandise.”  _

_ “Oh no.” _

_ “Don’t worry, our people are took care of it. No witness no case.”  _ Bishamon and Kazuma glanced at each other grimly.  _ Click click click. _

* * *

 

The sounds of Bishamon groaning and then sighing as she woke up brought a fond smile to Kazuma’s face. He glanced over at her. Her long hair was pulled back into a single braid and she was wearing one of his shirts because she’d forgotten to pack pajamas. His face warmed slightly at the sight and he turned back to the window as she got to her feet and padded across the room to the table where their food was. 

“Mind if I have something from the care package Yato packed for you?”

“Help yourself.” She sat down at the table in front of the window and munched on a ham and cheese croissant. “You know you talk in your sleep,” Kazuma mentioned. 

“What?” 

“You talked in your sleep last night.”

“What did I say?”

“Die, Idiot.” Bishamon laughed. 

“Sounds about right.”

“You should get some sleep,” Bishamon said. “It’s my shift now.”

“I’ll wait until you finish your breakfast, then I want to brief you on what happened on my shift.”

“There was movement?” She asked, mouth full of croissant. “Why didn’t you wake me?” 

“The entire point of the shifts is so one of us could sleep while the other records any activity that might occur. Neither of us will be any good for the investigation if we don’t get some sleep. Besides, you push yourself too hard sometimes,” He added in a gentler tone. 

“Don’t worry so much.”

“Let me worry a little, otherwise you’ll run yourself into the ground.” 

“Fine. You are approved for mild worry.”

“I appreciate that.” 

“So tell me about the activity.” 

“I got photos of what appeared to be a shipment of illegal goods, I left the plates in a voicemail for Yato when he gets in today, and the precinct hasn’t been able to get into contact with their witness. It’s too early to know for sure, but I don’t think we’ll be hearing from them again.”

“How big is their operation exactly that their willing to kill for it?” Bishamon asked. 

“It must be big, these guys aren’t playing around. I’ve written my official report on last night, here it is, and all the photos are on the computer for you to review.”

“Of course, you always have everything under control.”

“Hardly,” Kazuma said, thinking of his reaction to her teasing yesterday. “I just like to be prepared.” 

“Now I’ve been briefed you should get some rest, Kazuma. I can handle taking some photos alone.” He observed her quietly for a moment before nodding and heading for bed.

 

Kazuma was cute when he slept. She’d never seen him rumpled and tired before, even during their drills at the academy he somehow managed to maintain an ere of composure, not that he’d never lost his cool. When he’d asked her to come with him on the raid of the home Yato had shared with that killer he looked close to insanity. “ _ It has to be us. It can’t be the others.” _ But that had been a grim occasion. He’d been grief stricken and guilt ridden. When he held Yato and Hiiro back while she cuffed Rabo might have been the only time she’d seen him cry. 

_ Sleeping  _ Kazuma, however, was cute. There was a small crease between his brows like he carried some of his cares with him even in his dreams. How very like him. Always calculating, always worrying. If he wasn’t careful he’d overload himself and  _ snap _ like a thread under too much tension. Not while she was around, anyway. She was always trying to get him relax, dragging him along with her when she bent the rules to remind him that if he did something wrong it wasn’t the end of the world; he had a propensity for blaming himself. He’d always looked out for her and Yato, and that was a lot of weight for any one person. She and Yato were each a handful on their own, but  _ combined _ , she sometimes wondered how Kazuma handled it. 

_ By losing lots of sleep to worry _ , she thought. 

That was exactly why she was standing by his bedside now, waiting for the alarm on his phone to count down to zero, when it would wake him up to start their joint attention shift. At least It  _ would  _ have if she weren’t going to silence it as soon as it started so Kazuma could get some more sleep. He’d be a little peeved when he eventually woke up, but she was kind of looking forward to being lectured by a sleep rumpled by Kazuma. It would be funny to watch him tell her to be more responsible while he was unaware of the drool dried on his chin. 

The phone dinged and she struck like a snake coiled for attack, silencing the alarm. Kazuma grumbled a little and rolled over in his sleep, but did not wake. Bishamon smiled. Mission accomplished. He almost certainly would  _ not  _ thank her for it later, but he’d be better off all the same. 

“Mmm. Viina.” Bishamon looked over her shoulder. It looked like Kazuma was waking up at last. He’d slept an extra three and a half hours after she’d silenced his alarm. She glanced between the window and Kazuma, watching him rub his eyes then stretch, hair everywhere and pajamas wrinkled.  _ Cute _ . Also she found it interesting how he said her name as soon as he woke up. She tucked that information away for later. 

“Viina,” he said again, sounding more awake this time. 

“Hey there,” she said gently. 

“What time is it?” He checked his phone and made an confused noise that was positively  _ adorable _ . “My alarm didn’t go off?”

“It did,” Bishamon replied, “I shut it off.”

“What?” He asked, expression telling her that he was reserving judgment on her until she explained herself. 

“You needed sleep, so I turned off your alarm.”

“Viina!” He scolded, judging her guilty. “You should have woken me? What if something had happened?”

“Then I would have gotten pictures of it and you still would have gotten the extra sleep you needed.” 

“You shouldn’t have done that! We had an agreed upon schedule!”

“And I broke it and nothing horrible happened. The sky didn’t fall and Yato didn’t dance naked through the streets. I  _ just  _ got my sleep, and I happened to believe you needed a little more. Turns out I was right. I’m sitting in front of a window with a camera, not single-handedly raiding a dangerous drug cartel base.” Kazuma gave her a stern look, but didn’t argue further because she was  _ right _ . She didn’t  _ need  _ him for taking pictures. The only reason this was a two body stakeout was so they could sleep in shifts. Which they had.

* * *

 

“Alright everyone!” Hiyori declared. “My mom is getting in town today and she is coming by the precinct which means: No one will refer to any of Yato’s marriage proposals, any of the things he has made for me, the fact that he is still my police partner, or that he has keys to my apartment. He will be working at Kazuma’s desk and none of you will act as if any of this is any different. Are we clear?” There was no response. 

“The lady asked you if that was clear!” Tenjin said loudly, “This is not a drill! Mrs. Iki is coming to this precinct and I do not intend to sit through another meeting like last time because you punks weren’t listening to directions!”

“Yes sir!” The precinct replied. 

“My mother is due at five o’clock this evening and her trip is just for the night, tomorrow evening she will head back home.”

“Is all this really necessary for a twenty four hour visit?” Yukine asked, looking at the grim expressions on Yato and Tenin’s faces. 

“Yes!” They both snapped. 

“Okay, geeze.” 

 

Five O’ clock came fast. It seemed the work day dragged on and on when Yato wanted to go home, but when he was dreading the arrival of Hiyori’s mother it clipped by at the speed of light. He jumped every time the elevator door opened. 

“You  _ have  _ to be over reacting,” Yukine said. 

“I’m not, she  _ scary  _ when she’s mad okay? She went on and on about decency and no-good members of society and how inappropriate it was that I’d asked her daughter to marry me, like  _ yeah _ I get it! Hiyori yelled at me enough!”

“Like mother like daughter.” 

“Never make an Iki angry Yukine, just don’t. It’s bad for your health.”

The elevator dinged and Yato jumped, his eyes widening in horror as Sayuri Iki stepped off the elevator and into the bullpen. 

“Mom!” Hiyori said, smiling, happy, despite all the trouble this visit caused, to see her mother. 

“Hiyori dear, how are you?” Sayuri asked. 

“I’m great mom.”

“How’s work?”

“It’s good, we’re onto something big right now.”

“And does that horrible man still work here?” Hiyori glanced over at Kazuma’s desk. 

“He’s not here today.”

“Huh?” Yukine asked, glancing from the two Iki women back to where Yato  _ had  _ been six seconds ago, now there was only an empty desk chair, still spinning slightly.  _ Where the hell did he go? _

“Let me get my coat and purse and we can go to dinner, there’s this really great new place just down the street I wanted to take you too.” 

“That sounds wonderful,” Sayuri replied. Hiyori walked arm in arm with her mother to the elevator and disappeared behind its sliding doors. Yato peeked out from the mens room. 

“Is she gone?”

“Man you  _ really  _ need to get ahold of yourself.”

* * *

 

“Help me braid my hair,” Bishamon said suddenly. 

“What?”

“Help me with my hair, I want to put it up but it takes forever.”

“Umm,” Kazuma replied, not sure if he could do as she asked safely. The number of times he’d thought about running his hands through her hair… now she was  _ asking  _ him to do it and he couldn’t be positive he wouldn’t do something weird and embarrassing. 

“Whatever, you’re helping me,” she insisted, dragging her chair around in front of him so they both still faced their target. 

“But- the stakeout.”

“It’s quiet and we’ve got lots of good information on them anyway.” She seperated her hair into two large sections and threw one at Kazuma. Deciding he had no choice he reached out and took it carefully. He made a small surprised sound when it touched his fingers. 

“What?”

“Sorry, just, it’s soft.” Bishamon chuckled. 

“Yeah, what do you think I spend all that money on conditioner for?” 

Kazuma laughed softly and got to work. It had been a long time since she’d taught him to braid, but he caught back on quickly. Even with the two of them it really  _ did _ take a long time to braid it all. The quiet as they worked felt so intimate Kazuma was almost tempted to say something to break the spell, but he didn’t. He even managed to not do anything weird. 

“Hold this mirror,” she said, pushing a hand held mirror into his hand and starting work coiling and tucking her two braids up so that all her hair was pulled up against her scalp and it’s length was hidden again. 

“Impressive,” Kazuma said involuntarily. 

“Thank you,” Bishamon replied. She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek as she dragged her chair back to where it belonged. Kazuma spluttered.

* * *

 

Twenty four hours later Kazuma collapsed into a chair at the precincts favorite bar next to Yato.

“I’ve got so much to tell you,” he said. 

“Me too,” Yato grumbled. They spoke at the same time. 

“Something happened with Viina.”

“Something happened with Hiyori,” the two said at the same time.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. It’s about damn time, you go first!” Yato said, perking up at once. 

“While we were on the stakeout she kissed me.”

“What?” Yato shouted, drawing the attention of half the bar. Kazuma shushed him frantically. “Relax, the girls went somewhere else tonight, now  _ spill the tea, sis _ .”

“Yukine has got to stop teaching you young people speak,” Kazuma said. 

“Just tell me!” 

“Okay well so it was really weird, she asked me to help her braid her hair-”

“You didn’t do anything creepy did you?”

“No!” Kazuma finished telling Yato all about what happened and Yato leaned back, looking smug. 

“She’s totally messing with you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean she likes you and she knows you like her so she’s teasing you because you’re so uptight.”

“You mean you think she  _ knows _ ?” Kazuma croaked, looking horrified. 

“Yes she  _ knows _ , I’m willing to bet you weren’t half as smooth as you think you were. She’s just teasing you, stop freaking out so much and just ask her out, she’ll say yes.” Kazuma looked like he did not love that plan. Yato sighed.

“Okay well what about you, you said something happened with Hiyori?” Deciding to ignore that Kazuma was deflecting, Yato nodded.

“Yeah, I think I’m going crazy. The other day we were talking and I said something about us belonging together like I always do but Hiyori didn’t do what she always did. This look she gave me it… it almost looked like she was into me. I got all choked up and flustered like I used too. Crazy right? It’s been happening again recently and I need to know if I’m imagining it like I was last time.”

“No, Yato, you’re not imagining it.” 


	6. Tactical Valentines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two best days of the year: Tactical Village day and Valentines day are here and Yukine’s suspension is finally up and he’s allowed to return to school.

Yato had never actually asked Hiyori out on a date. He always, without fail, asked her to marry him. After the third proposal she started to give up hope he would ever stop and by the sixth she almost enjoyed his displays, they were very well put together after all. They were all well and good when she had no interest in him romantically, but now that she was planning on asking him out herself, she was worried that he might have planned proposal number seven for this year’s holiday of love. 

Was there a waiting period that needed to be waited out before asking someone out after turning them down? If there was did she need to observe it in this case, because Yato didn’t genuinely expect her to say yes anymore, she knew perfectly well he just liked putting on the show and she was a victim of convenience. But still, if proposal number seven was coming soon it would make things more complicated, and she didn’t want that. 

Which is why her gut sank when she stepped off the elevator into the bullpen and noticed the dozen red roses sitting on her desk. 

“Yato, it isn’t until the day after tomorrow!” She said, glancing around the precinct to see if there were dancers hiding behind the filing cabinets. When she drew near her desk, however, she noticed Yato’s sullen demeanor and heard his teeth grinding as he played half heartedly with Mickey. She almost sagged with relief. 

“Oh, they’re not from you?” She set her things down and plucked the card from the stand and read it out loud. “To Hiyori, thinking of you and hoping that you have a happy Valentines Day, Love Manabu.” Yato huffed. 

“Hiyori, did you get a boyfriend?” Yukine asked, looking at her roses. 

“Don’t be silly, of course not. Manabu is someone that I went on a couple of dates-”

“Three dates,” Yato interjected. 

“ _ Three _ dates then, but I just wasn’t in to him so I broke it off. Yato  _ knows that _ and he’s just being a child.” 

“If you only went on three dates why is he sending you flowers now?” 

“He probably just doesn’t want to spend Valentine’s Day alone is all.” 

She shook her head and set the roses out of the way on a filing cabinet where they would be out of the way. She looked at Yato’s expression and prayed that this wouldn’t motivate him to propose again if he hadn’t already been planning to.

* * *

 

“Yato my stapler is jammed again,” Hiyori huffed. 

“I keep telling you, you staple to aggressively,” he said, picking up his stapler and trading it for hers. 

“I have a lot of paper that I want to attach to each other! I can’t finesse that kind of binding!” He chuckled as he used his pocket knife to pry the jam out of Hiyori’s stapler before passing it back to her. “Here you go my love.”

“Thanks.” He looked up as she took back her stapler and saw the nervous flit of her eyes to the elevator as it chimed and let someone off, then the visible relief as a uniformed officer entered the room. 

Curious he stopped working for a while to watch her. She jumped every time the elevator doors opened. What was that about? She cast him a suspicious glance when she thought he wasn’t looking and he realized, could she be nervous that he was planning some big display? Usually she didn’t mind- barring the first few- and she sat through his orchestrations with some good humor. What had changed?

He hadn’t planned anything anyway, in all honesty Kazuma had gotten to him and he was starting to feel nervous about the prospect of her turning him down. It seemed much more high stakes now that Kazuma was encouraging him. However, as she did another suspicious scan of the precinct he knew what he would do. The displays made him happy, but what was that worth if they made Hiyori unhappy? Yato pulled a scrap of colored paper from his desk and got to work. 

Once he finished his project he got to his feet and strode around their desks and extended his hand to Hiyori. 

“Hiyori, can we talk in private a minute?”

“Oh dear.” 

He smiled patiently at her as she took his hand like she expected him to bite her. He led her by the hand to the evidence room and closed the door behind them. 

“Usually I would do something loud and flashy and you would go along with it. I don’t know what’s changed this year, but you’re clearly dreading that. I don’t want to do something that will make you unhappy so here’s my Valentine’s Day gift to you this year-” he took her hands in his and leaned in close so he was murmuring in her ear, “I promise not to bother you this year, no flash mobs, or gifts, just some peace on a Hallmark holiday. He pressed a kiss to her temple and slipped the flower into her hand and then left her alone, heart pounding. 

The door shutting snapped her out of her shock and she looked down at the small purple lotus that he had probably only just made. Her face broke into a smile. 

“I love it.”

* * *

 

Hiyori tucked the flower gently into her purse, still smiling, while Yato watched her out of the corner of his eye. She had obviously liked it, she looked so relieved and happy. He smiled and went back to work.

* * *

 

“Don’t forget it’s may last full weekday here, I go back to school tomorrow,” Yukine reminded Yato as he handed him a file. 

“Remember not to vandalize anymore!” Hiyori suggested. 

“Or just get better at not getting caught!” Kofuku added. 

“No! No more vandalizing!” 

“Hiyori is right! We don’t want you ending up back here in the holding cell!” Yato interjected.

“Which isn’t to say we don’t want you to call us if you’re in trouble!” Hiyori added hurriedly. 

“That’s right! If you need bail money we want you to call us, but we don’t want you to need bail money!”

Kazuma looked at the two poor souls trying to find the right words to express their feelings to an increasingly embarrassed and annoyed Yukine and decided to have mercy on them. 

“They’re trying to tell you that you can count on them, and they want you to be good,” he said. 

“Yes!” The two of them exclaimed. 

“I’ll miss having you around!” Yato continued. 

“At least the first day Yukine is back at school is tactical village day. We won’t have to listen to Yato moaning about missing him.” Bishamon said. 

“What’s tactical village day?” Yukine asked. 

“It’s the best day of the year!” Yato exclaimed. “It’s a mandatory police training day where all the precincts go and test out cool new weapons and run through a training drill. Last year it was prison break and it got  _ pretty  _ messy.” 

“Bishamon and I have both won coolest kill! That’s all the cops from all the precincts sending around their footage and everybody voting on it,” Hiyori told him. 

“And Yato has never won?”

“Nope,” Bishamon said smugly. 

“I’ll win this year for sure!”

“Yeah right, coolest kill is mine!” Hiyori retorted. 

“Are you guys this competitive about everything?”

“Yes, they are,” Daikoku said. “The only reason I don’t tell them to knock it off is because it keeps their arrest numbers up and makes the precinct look good, and when the precinct looks good the brass stay off my back.”

* * *

 

Yato practically leapt out of his car, slamming the door and vibrating with excitement. 

“It’s tactical village day!”

“We know, Yato, we’re at the tactical village,” Kazuma replied, not looking up from his equipment. Yato spun grandly and extended a hand towards Hiyori, which she ignored. 

“Happy tactical village day, my love!”

“Happy tactical village day, Yato. Prepare to be destroyed.”

“You know you’re so attractive when you’re out for blood.” 

Hiyori snorted so hard she dropped her weapon. It went off and a paintball fired right into Kiun’s chest. 

“Oh my God I’m so sorry Kiun!” Hiyori called. He shot her a dirty look and left to get another vest. 

Yato, still laughing hysterically, picked the paintball gun up and returned it to her. She took it from him, glaring at him without malice. 

“Shut up.” 

“You’ve gotten off to a really great start already, Hiyori, too bad that wasn’t on video or you’d already be a contender for coolest kill.” 

“Alright guys, we’re fourth on the schedule to run the simulation today so until then roam the facility and feel free to try out new equipment,” Daikoku said, “and  _ behave. _ I don’t want any complaints against the nine-nine!”

“Yes sir!” The replied together. Bishamon and Kazuma left Hiyori and Yato behind to do whatever it was crazy ladies and their glasses wearing friends did. 

“So what’s first, crowd control or firearms?”

“Fire arms, duh!” 

“I knew you’d say that!”

* * *

 

“Kazuma stand over there!” Bishamon said. 

“No.”

“What do you mean no?”

“I mean you’re obviously holding a net launcher and you want to fire it at me.”

“I’ll let you fire it at me next!”

“That won’t change my mind. They literally have mannequins set up  _ right there  _ for you to fire at.”

“But that’s no fun!” 

“Daikoku asked us to behave, remember?” Kazuma asked sternly. Bishamon made a pouty face and fired at the mannequins. 

“You never let me shoot you,” She said. 

“And I never will.”

“Kill joy.”

“Why are you so determined to shoot me?”

“Maybe that’s how I flirt.” Kazuma choked.

“Come on, let’s try these,” he said, turning towards another table of tester weapons. Bishamon shook her head and followed.  _ If he keeps holding his emotions in eventually he’s going to break, _ she thought.

* * *

 

“So these are the service weapons they’ll be issuing to new recruits?” Yato asked, turning the pistol over in his hands. 

“Yes, and I think to any officers whose service weapons are damaged.” 

“Makes sense, I’m glad they aren’t replacing ours. I’d miss my gun, Tomone!” 

“Why did you name your gun after your ex girlfriend, Yato?”

“Because she’s loud and hurts people.” 

“Oh my God.”

“Also she’s got a nasty bite,” he added seriously.

“ _ WHAT _ ?” 

Yato turned away from her like he’d said nothing out of the ordinary, biting his lips to keep from smiling. Okay so Tomone had never actually bitten him, but Hiyori’s reaction was amazing. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, you can’t just  _ say  _ something like that! I need context!”

“Some things are best left unsaid.” 

“You never leave  _ anything  _ unsaid! That’s your whole thing!”

“Not my  _ whole  _ thing.” 

“Ninety percent of your thing!”

“Well this is the last ten percent.” Yato had to fight hard to keep the smile off his face because Hiyori’s expression was priceless. 

“You’re seriously not going to tell me?”

“Seriously,” he said, smiling mischievously at her gaping mouth. 

“You are unbelievable.” Yato fired three shots, each one landing square on the bullseye. Hiyori rolled her eyes and did the same, aim equally impeccable. 

* * *

Kazuma had disappeared to somewhere when Bishamon came across the sound canon on the second floor of the building, with poor innocent Yato standing alone downstairs looking closely at the net canon she’d already played with. 

Bishamon grinned as she flipped the sound on and directed it towards Yato, and turned the volume all the way up. She laughed maniacally as he hit the deck, shouting profanities and writhing around on the ground with nobody even looking his direction. 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO MEEE? I CAN TASTE MY THOUGHTS!”

“Viina!” Kazuma snapped, flipping the canon off. Below them Yato’s shouts stopped as Kazuma glared at her. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Just messing around!”

“You shouldn’t behave that way, it will look bad on the precinct!”

“Come on, no one was even looking, and Yato would have done the same to me!”

“That’s not the point, you shouldn’t abuse police resources to feed this childish rivalry you have with him. It’s not the proper way for a detective to behave!”

“Okay okay I get it!” She snapped. 

“Good! I’d hate to see you slander the good name you’ve accrued over the years by being petty.” 

“I said okay! You can stop it with the eyebrow crease of intense disapproval!” Kazuma sighed heavily. 

“What’s the eyebrow crease of intense disapproval, Viina?” 

“It’s the look you get when me or Yato does something you  _ really  _ don’t like. We named it in first grade.”

“It’s comforting that the two of you at least got along long enough to name an expression, I guess.” 

* * *

The one oh two exited the training course, grinning and high fiving as the nine nine prepared their weapons and equipment for their run through. When Manabu caught sight of Hiyori he split off from the group to greet her. 

“Hey, Hiyori!”

“Hey, Manabu, haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Yeah, it has been a while. Hey, did you get the roses I sent you?”

“I did, they were lovely. By the way, your precinct looks pretty happy, did you guys do a good job?”

“Oh yeah! We had a perfect run and I think we broke the course record!”

“What? That’s amazing!”

“Yeah! I gotta go, but I’ll call you later!” He jogged to catch up with his coworkers and Yato spun around to the nine nine. 

“Okay, new plan, we’re going for a perfect run and to break that course record!”

“Wow I wonder if that has anything to do with Manabu literally  _ just  _ telling you that he did that exact thing,” Kiun asked sarcastically. 

“Shut up Kiun, it’ll look good on the nine nine!”

“I’m not saying that I believe that this isn’t a jealous thing, but I think it’s a good idea,” Daikoku said. 

“I think it’s a good idea too,” said Kazuma.

“Alright then, nine nine on three! One, two, three!”

“Nine nine!” They broke out of their hype huddle and Daikoku left to be briefed on the simulation. 

Hiyori took in Yato’s determined expression and thought back to the little purple flower he had given her.  _ Maybe he really is ready.  _

“Hey, Yato,” Hiyori said, pulling him to the side. “How about a bet? Whoever gets the most kills wins and loser buys dinner.”

“Dinner? Like, tonight?” She nodded. He blinked a few times, then nodded slowly.  _ It’s probably just a bet, relax.  _ It was just one dinner. With Hiyori. 

“You’re on. Prepare for the most expensive date of your life!” He said, making an attempt at his usual bravado. 

“That’s fine, because I won’t be the one paying for it!” She quipped back. She hadn’t corrected him on the date thing.  _ She probably expected me to know it’s not a real date. _

* * *

“Okay I’ve got the details for this years simulation. A group of armed men have broken into the embassy and taken hostages.”

“Is the ambassador safe?” Kazuma asked. 

“Unknown. This is an active shooter situation, you are cleared for maximum engagement.”

“Bishamon and Kazuma you’re perimeter security. Yato and Hiyori you’re the assault team.” The two high fived. “I’ll be in the command center. Kiun, I want you escorting any hostages or civilians that the command and perimeter teams rescue.”

“Yes Sarge!”

“You’ve got eighteen minutes and forty one seconds to beat this course record starting now!” 

The five of them ran up the stairs on the balls of their feet to minimize noise and separated at the first intersection, Yato and Hiyori turning to head deeper into the ‘embassy.’ 

They walked single file down the hall, turning to face every room they passed, guns held out in front of them at the ready. They turned into another hallway and saw someone with their chest pressed up against a wall. 

“Turn around!” She commanded. The actor turned around and revealed a t shirt proclaiming him to be a bystander. 

“Kiun,” she said. He strode around her and approached the bystander. 

“Come with me, I’ll get you out of here.” 

Yato and Hiyori moved on, eventually coming upon two door right across from each other, Yato went left and Hiyori right, clearing the rooms at the same town. Hiyori took out two hostiles and returned to the hallway to be smug at Yato until he informed her that there had been  _ three  _ perps in his room. 

“Whatever, I’ll still win this,” Hiyori said. 

“You’re dreaming.”

“Yato, Hiyori, I’ve got intel that there is a room full of hostiles up ahead, no hostages.” 

They proceeded with much caution until they came to the last room in the hallway where the hostiles had to be. Yato held up his fingers, silently counting down. 

_ Three, two, one! _

Yato went high and Hiyori went low, her four fired paintballs splattered across four gunman shirts, leaving Yato with the last two.

“Tie,” she said simply before leaving the room. 

* * *

“Do you want to get some dinner with me after this?” Bishamon asked. Kazuma gave her a strange look. 

“You usually just tell me where we’re going.”

“Tonight I thought I’d let you choose.”

“I actually have some hamburger meat that’s about to spoil-”

“Kind of you to cook for me.” Kazuma smiled. 

“How is seven?”

“Sounds great.” She smiled.

“Kazuma gripped her arm and yanked her out of the way when a shooter came around the corner and fired at her. Kazuma shot him twice before scanning her quickly to be sure she hadn’t been hit. 

“Looks like you’re still in the game. The perfect run lives.”

“No thanks to me, what would I do without you?”

“I’m more worried about what I’d do without you,” he said, releasing her. She felt a faint heat grow in her cheeks. 

“Probably be fine.”

“I somehow don’t think so.” 

“Let’s just get back to the simulation then, and I’ll try to watch my back.”

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll do it for you.” She suppressed a smile. 

“Kazuma, Bishamon, your floor has been cleared, Yato and Hiyori have closed in on the location of the ambassador and have been instructed not to breech without backup.”

“Yes sir.” 

* * *

As soon as Yato laid eyes on Kazuma he briefed him. 

“At least eight hostiles in this room, four hostages, one is the ambassador. It’s unknown if there are any other points of entry.”

“Got it, ideally we would check for other entrances but we don’t have much time to beat the course record. We have to do a hard entry. Yato and I go low, Hiyori and Bishamon go high.”

“Got it.”

“Viina you’re first through the door.”

“Right.” 

Kazuma stood back, weapon at the ready, and counted down quietly. “One, two, three!” Bishamon charged in, followed by Yato and Hiyori, then himself, but all the perps were already paint splattered by the time he made it through the door. 

A door behind Kazuma creaked and all their heads snapped in that direction, but Hiyori reacted fastest, spinning and firing three shots before Kazuma had even lifted his weapon. 

“Yes!” She cried, “I win!” 

“Eighteen minutes and twenty seconds! You did it!” Daikoku said. The four of them cheered. 

“So where am I taking you tonight?” Yato asked bemused. Kazuma opened his mouth to reply that he already had plans when he realized Yato hadn’t been talking to him. 

“I’m thinking Italian.”

“Great, so Pizza Hut.”

“No! Good italian food! I seem to recall being promised the most expensive date of my life!”

“You remember that, huh?”

“What?” Bishamon asked. 

“A date?” Kazuma added. 

“Yato and I made a bet on who would kill more hostiles today, and  _ he  _ said it would be the most expensive date of my life.”

“You’re regretting that already.”

“To be fair I thought I would win.”

“That makes one of us.” Yato opened his mouth to retort, then closed it, the corners of his mouth pulling up into an evil smile. 

“What’s going on, why do you have mischief face?” 

“You know, I can pull a lot together with a big budget and a short time frame.”

“Wait- no! Remember your promise!”

“Damn! I wouldn’t have made that promise if I knew this bet was coming, I already had such good plans!”

“ _ How! _ You lost the bet sixteen seconds ago!”

“I always have good date ideas for a date with you!”

“Yeah that tracks.”

“I’ll pick you up at eight?”

“Seven is better!”

“Yeah you know where she lives,” Bishamon said, taking Hiyori by the arm and dragging her out of the room. She waited until they were out of earshot of the boys before asking. 

“Um? What happened to waiting for the right moment?”

“I think I found it.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, yesterday when he dragged me into the evidence room he gave me this little origami flower he said my gift this year was that he wouldn’t do anything outlandish and make me uncomfortable. And he was really nice to Manabu today and I really think he’s matured.”

“Can’t believe you’re finally dating him.”

“What about you and Kazuma?”

“He’s cooking for me tonight.” Hiyori raised her eyebrows in surprise. 

“Oh  _ really _ ? You’ll be in his apartment,” she said suggestively. 

“Shut up.” 

“Are you finally going to tell Kazuma that you’re dating?”

“Maybe.” Hiyori made a frustrated sighed and dragged Bishamon forward. 

“So do you think we should totally dress up and freak them out?” 

“Absolutely I do.” 

* * *

“Did I hear what I think I heard or did I have a small stroke? You got a date with Hiyori and didn’t  _ tell me _ ?”

“No! I’m not even sure it’s a real date.”

“She literally called it a date like two minutes ago you were standing right there.”

“Yeah, but it was the prize for a bet, I think she just called it a date because she expects me to know she doesn’t mean it.”

“You sound so stupid right now.” 

“That’s mean!”

“It’s true. Whose idea was the bet?”

“Hers.” Kazuma gave him a meaningful look. 

“Oh yeah well what about you and Bishamon?”

“She...decided she’s coming to my place tonight.”

“ _ WHAT? _ ” Yato cried. The girls turned around and gave them confused looks before returning to whatever evil they were plotting. 

“Yeah, I’m kinda freaked out.”

“You should have lead with that! What if she’s gaining access into your home to murder you?”

“She’s not going to kill me, Yato, be serious.”

“Okay, sorry. Maybe she’s planning to make her move tonight since you’re a scaredy cat piss baby.”

“Am not!”

“So we both have maybe dates tonight?”

“Maybe.”

* * *

 

Hiyori looked at herself in the mirror and spun around a little bit, biting her lip. Maybe she should change. She looked really nice, and she’d feel awkward if Yato wasn’t as dressed up as she was. She snapped a picture of her outfit and sent it to Bishamon. 

_ H: Too much? _

_ B: OH MY GOD KILL HIM _

_ H: Are you saying I look good or requesting that I murder him _

_ B: yes _

Hiyori sighed and put her phone away, yet again considering changing her outfit when a knock came at her door.  _ Since when does he knock? _

“Coming!”

* * *

 

Yato shifted from foot to foot while he waited for Hiyori to answer the door.  _ What if I’m too dressed up? What if she thinks I think it’s a date? _ Then the door opened and Yato stopped thinking all together.

“He-oooh Hiyori, holy shit.” She grinned, her cheeks heating up.

“You look nice too.” She closed the door behind herself and locked the door, then looked at the now red faced Yato. “Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah. Let’s go.” He seemed to come back to his senses. 

“So the best italian in town is booked, being that it’s the day before Valentine’s day.”

“Should have seen that one coming.”

“I got a reservation at a mid range restaurant that only takes walk ins by crying loudly and telling them it was my last chance to convince you not to dump me.”

“Oh my god.”

“So when we get there you have to be in character as my  _ almost had it _ girlfriend.” 

“An undercover mission, how exciting,” she joked. 

“Should we stage a big argument?”

“Can I throw my drink in your face?”

“White wine then, I think.”

“Good call.” 

“But maybe we shouldn’t ruin everyone else’s night?” Hiyori added thoughtfully as they waited for the elevator. 

“You’re right, fake fight is a bad idea,  _ unless  _ it just gives them a funny story to tell their future grandkids.”

“Oh you drive a hard bargain.” 

“We might just have to read the room.”

“Good plan.”

* * *

 

Kazuma was stirring his beef stroganoff when a knock came at his door. 

“It’s open,” He called. He didn’t turn as the door opened and closed again, or when he heard her pause at the door and take her shoes off. 

“It smells good.”

“You’re just in time, it’s almost done.”

“Perfect! Oh the table looks nice.”

“Yato is apparently an expert on formal table settings, he demanded pictures and then made me arrange it ‘properly’ whatever that means.” 

“He goes to too many of those classes at the community center.” Kazuma laughed. 

“He’s their best customer,” He turned finally to see her standing next to the counter, looking at the case file he’d had open and looking over while he cooked. Thankfully she was distracted and didn’t notice his reaction. He turned back to his cooking and hoped that if she noticed the heat in his face she’d attribute it to the heat from his stove. 

“I remember this case, you briefed us on it last week, Yato is your second on it, right?”

“Yeah,” he took the food off the heat and reached around her with his other hand to point to an image stapled in. “We think that this guy is the ring leader of this new drug ring, but we haven’t been able to get close to him. He seems to have come out of nowhere and this is the only picture of him we have.” 

“And none of the people you caught are willing to flip on him?”

“No, and anyone we get too close too disappears.”

“So he’s dangerous.” 

“Very.” 

“But he’s also another day’s problem,” She said, closing the case file. 

“Ah, right.” 

“You should feed me now.” He grinned and nodded before dishing out some beef stroganoff for the two of them. He handed her a plate and they sat across from each other at the table and started eating. 

“You look nice,” Kazuma ventured. 

“Thank you, you look nice too. The food is good, I never would have guessed that it was made with almost spoiled meat.” She beamed at him and he felt his chest swell. 

* * *

“Did you see the look she gave you when she realized you were the guy with the reservation?” Hiyori murmured as they were seated. 

“Yeah, remember you’re supposed to be mad at me, this is a begrudging dinner.”

“Of course, how’s my  face?” 

“As beautiful as all your other faces!” Hiyori giggled. 

“Don’t make me laugh I’m pretending to be mad!” The waitress came and took their drink orders, and Hiyori held herself appropriately away from him while they ordered. 

“I think it would be inappropriate to stage a big fight here, it looks like a bunch of people are here on dates.” 

“You’re probably right, that sucks, I was looking forward to throwing a drink in your face, I ordered water and everything.” 

“What a shame.”

“Actually I’m surprised that you didn’t drive up to Hiiro’s school after work to see her.”

“I wanted too but she said it’s lame to go out to eat with your brother on Valentine’s Day.”

“You better look out, she’s turning into a teenager.” Yato dragged his hands down his face in despair. 

“I  _ know  _ and I don’t want her too! I remember what I was like when I was a teenager! I was a  _ nightmare _ !” Hiyori giggled. 

“Oh don’t worry, I’m sure she won’t be nearly as bad as you, she’s got someone really great looking out for her, after all.” Yato beamed at her. 

“Besides, you already got through that whole cult thing.”

“God, don’t remind me.” Hiyori reached out and took Yato’s hand, smiling comfortingly. 

“Everything is going to be okay, she’s got a cop older brother who loves her and a whole precinct full of people who would do anything for her.” Yato squeezed her hand back and raised it to his lips to kiss her knuckles, surprised when she didn’t pull away. 

The waiter brought their food and set it in front of them before rushing off again, since the place was packed out he was probably feeling very overworked. 

“Her mandatory probation is up in a few months, and outside the one incident with the poster she’s been doing well and I haven’t said anything because I didn’t want to jinx it, but I think she might be home for the next semester of school.”

“Yato that’s great!” Hiyori cried, drawing the attention of a few nearby diners. She shrugged in apology before resuming more quietly. “I’m so happy for you! It’ll be great to get to see her more often!” Yato grinned brightly. 

“I didn’t want to get my hopes up but… she’s been on her best behaviour and, well, my hopes are up.”

“I don’t blame you, it’s been forever since the two of you were able to live under the same roof.” Yato nodded and squeezed Hiyori’s hand, he was glad that he had told her now.

* * *

 

As they began cleaning up their dinner Bishamon decided that it was time to deal with the elephant in the room, and to stop letting Kazuma run from his feelings. She stood beside him at the sink and helped him wash dishes.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, taking a plate from her and rinsing it off. 

“I mean earlier, when I said I was flirting, you ran away.” The plate in his hand slipped and he barely caught it before it crashed into the other dishes in the sink. 

“You know I can do this, you don’t have to-” He started. Bishamon, aggravated, decided that enough was enough and seized him by the shirt collar and dragged his face down to hers. He stiffened for a moment before reaching out slowly to rest his hands on her hips, the soapy dish water soaking into her dress. 

“You really need to stop running.” 


	7. Show Me Going

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiyori is involved in an active shooter situation and the rest are forced to stay back, terrified of her safety,

“ _ Be advised: we have a shooter or something going on in Edo Heights.”  _

“What’s going on?” Yato asked, approaching the solemn faced group listening to a police radio on Kofuku’s desk.

“There’s an active shooter in Edo Heights, multiple casualties,” Tenjin explained. The faces around him were grim.

_ “Requesting additional units, squad dispatch, _ ”said the radio. 

“ESU in en route and nearby officers are responding to the scene now,” Daikoku added, placing a hand on his wife’s shoulder. 

_ “We have people running saying six or seven shots fired.” _

_ “Kamiya, nine two three eight show me going.” _

_ “Nine two three eight I have you going.” _

Another. 

_ “Higurashi, nine two five two show me going.” _

_ “Nine two five two I have you going.” _

“What are they saying?” Yukine asked, looking up at Yato. 

“‘Show me going’ and their badge numbers, they’re telling dispatch that they’re nearby and responding to the call.” 

_ “Hatori, nine eight two five show me going.” _

_ “Nine eight two five I have you going.”  _

_ “Iki, three one one five show me going.” _ The group stirred in alarm and Yato’s eyes snapped onto Kazuma’s shocked face. 

“Iki, like Hiyori Iki?” Kofuku asked, voice pitching higher with worry.

“That’s her badge number,” Yato confirmed, gulping. “Hiyori is there.” 

All sound was muffled by the deafening silence.

* * *

 

Ten minutes later the restless detective squad were in the briefing room waiting to hear what Tenjin had managed to find out.

“We don’t know very much about the situation right now other than this: there are three dead and six wounded, all civilian.”

“Oh my God,” Kofuku said.

“How many shooters?” Yato asked. 

“Two, maybe three,” Tenjin said. “We can’t be sure.”

“Is Hiyori going to be okay?” Yukine asked, looking around with frightened eyes. 

All eyes turned to the pale faced and trembling Yato. 

“Of course she is,” he replied. “She’s Hiyori, she’s a total badass, and she’s saved my life plenty of times. Besides, we’re going in to help her, right?” Tenjin looked grim. 

“No, Yato. The Emergency Response Unit is there, SWAT will be arriving in moments, and the nine seven is locking down the scene. We’ve been ordered to go about with business as usual.” To everyone’s surprise it was Yukine, not Yato, who protested loudly. 

“But that’s crazy! They can’t really expect you guys to sit around and do nothing! Hiyori is there!”

Yato bit his lip hard in an effort to stay grounded. He agreed with Yukine, more than anything he wanted to charge down to the scene and do whatever it took to keep Hiyori safe. He’d talked a lot about his impulsiveness and recklessness in his court mandated therapy sessions. The very small and quiet rational part of his brain was telling him that he would be of no use to Hiyori as worried as he was, with his legs to weak to stand. His police training piped up and reminded him that having too many officers on the scene would only impede the operation, especially if one of those officers was worried out of his mind about the love of his life. 

Yato looked up from his internal battle and cursed, Yukine looked just as bad as Yato felt. His eyes were wide and watery and he was white as a sheet. He looked desperately to Yato, trying to gauge Yato’s reaction to this news. 

He took a quick look around and saw that every worried set of eyes was fixed on him, Bishamon even had her hands on her cuffs like she was ready to restrain him. Yato realized that he wasn’t the only person in the precinct who was worried about Hiyori, but he probably  _ was  _ the only person who hadn’t spent the past ten minutes also worried about how Yato was going to react to this news. His resolve solidified as he looked back to the terrified Yukine. He knew what he had to do. 

“It’s alright, Yukine, Hiyori’s got the ESU and tons of highly trained officers there to back her up. If we go down there right now we’d just be in the way. ESU can handle it.” He placed a comforting hand on Yukine’s shoulder and smiled weakly. 

Shocked silence resounded at his words. 

“I-Yato is right,” Tenjin said, not bothering to mask his surprise. “We need to let the nine seven handle things and try not to worry, Hiyori isn’t alone, she’s part of a massive response, and she’ll be fully equipped with the best protective gear available. In the meantime you all have jobs to be doing. Dismissed.” 

Yato got to his feet and stayed close to Yukine, throwing an arm around his shoulders. 

“Hey,” Kazuma said, tapping Yato on the shoulder. The two turned to look at him wearing matching expressions of poorly concealed fear. “You’re right, you know? She’s going to be fine.” Yato nodded silently, afraid to risk speaking. “Are you going to be okay?” Yato nodded tightly again and turned away, squeezing Yukine a bit tighter. 

Kazuma watched him go, both worried and impressed with how well he appeared to be taking this. Bishamon came up beside him and he turned, showing her the concern he hadn’t shown Yato.

“She will, right?” He asked.

“I hope so. I’m just glad that Yato isn’t going to pieces, I thought we were going to have to cuff him in the interrogation room to keep him from going after her.”

“Me too, but did you see how he reacted to Yukine? Hiyori is always saying that he’s a good dad, maybe having Yukine around is what’s steadying him,” he suggested.

“I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, but I think you might be right. We might only have the one big problem to deal with today. We should get back to work though.” She leaned forward and quickly kissed him before anyone could see and strode out of the room. Kazuma stood still in surprise for a few moments, fingers resting on his lips. Would he ever get used to that? After so long of being in love with her?

* * *

 

“Yato,” Yukine began tremulously, “how are you so calm? Hiyori could die today!” Yato flinched. An emotion that Yukine had no name for crossed Yato’s face, but his tone was steady when he spoke.

“We all risk death every day with this job.”

“That’s not helping!”

“What I’m saying is that nothing so far has managed to kill Hiyori, and this won’t either.”

“How can you be sure?”

“I can’t.  _ Anything _ could happen out there and there’s nothing that I could do to stop it, but I  _ have  _ to believe that Hiyori’s going to be okay because I can’t even imagine what happens if she isn’t.”

“You’re really scared too, aren’t you?” Yato nodded and exhaled slowly, massaging the bridge of his nose. 

“Yeah, I’m more scared than I’ve ever been in my life, which is saying something. I wish I had something to tell you to make you feel better, but the truth is there’s no telling what could happen today.”

“So what do we do now?”

“We try and keep it together. The last thing Hiyori needs is to be caught up in a shit storm over there only to walk back into another over here.” 

“Okay, so how do we do that?”

“Well, Take is still out, which means I’m still on housekeeping. You and I are going to clean the holding cell, which is miraculously empty. After that we’ll move on to the interrogation rooms and we’ll see what’s going on then.”

“So your plan is to scrub the pain away?”

“Yup.” Yukine shrugged. 

“Might as well try.”

* * *

 

“Kiun,” Take said, surprised to find him on the other side of his door in the middle of a work day. 

“Have you been watching the news?”

“You mean the Edo Heights shooting? Yeah, it’s just a precinct over too.”

“Hiyori is caught up in it.”

“What?” Take cried. 

“I wanted to tell you in person and, to be honest, I just had to get out of the precinct. The tension is high and Yato is trying to bleach the sins out of the holding cell.”

“Oh God, come in.” He stepped to the side and allowed Kiun to step inside. 

“Do you want to work on some case files?”

“God yes.”

* * *

 

“Holding criminals in this room should qualify as police brutality,” Yukine said, voice once again muffled by Hiyori’s scarf. “It’s worse than the mens room.”

“Let this serve as motivation for you to stay out of trouble, I bet other precincts don’t have cleaning wizard detectives that get benched and clean their holding cells.”

“I’ll never break the law again,” Yukine said, disgusted, as he scrubbed the floor.

“I’ll clean the bottom of the bench so that you don’t have to,” Yato offered, then regretted immediately as he turned the bench over and saw what was underneath it. 

“Holy fuck. This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen,” Yato gagged, eyes filling with tears at the sheer sight of it. “Let’s just burn down the precinct. There’s no redeeming this place, it must perish.” Yukine looked at the  _ layers and layers  _ of old chewing gum that had been pressed to the underside of the bench. 

“God, this stuff must date back to the cold war,” Yukine said, backing away. 

“I say we break the bench and blame a perp. We can tell the captain to put in for a new one.”

“Deal,” Yukine said. 

Yato’s phone rang and his heart soared, thinking for one golden second that Hiyori had gotten out and called him to let him know that she was safe. His heart sank, then twisted with worry again when he saw the name on the phone.

“Yato thank God!” Hiiro said, voice tight. 

“What? What’s going on, why aren’t you in class?”

“I saw the shooting on the news! That’s just a precinct over from you, I was worried you’d been caught up in it and they said there had been casualties!” Yato slapped his forehead.  _ Yato you idiot, of course it’s on the news.  _

“Hiiro, I’m so sorry, I should have called you first thing to let you know I was alright. I’ve just been so worried about Hiyori-”

“Hiyori is in there?” She interrupted. Yato slapped himself on the forehead again. 

“Yes, she is, but the police response to this is massive, and she’s got more backup than she’ll know what to do with. Don’t worry. I’ll call you as soon as we know anything else, alright?”

“Okay, but you had better not forget again!”

“I won’t, don’t worry!” He sighed when he hung up the phone, collapsing onto the floor. In an instant he shot back up, shouting. 

“What the hell is your problem?” Yukine asked. 

“I can feel the bacteria burrowing into my flesh!”

“Do you want me to splash you with bleach?”

“Yes!” Yukine shrugged and began to unscrew the cap on the bleach bottle. 

“No! No, no, no, no!” Kazuma cried, sprinting across the station and taking the bleach from Yukine, looking harried.

“Yato, you’ve already scrubbed the floor, you’re fine. Why don’t you two do something else? A uniformed officer just brought in someone and we need the holding cell.” He shepherded the two of them from the room and handed the bleach off to a uniformed officer. 

Kazuma gave Yato a disbelieving look and ushered him out of the holding cell.  _ Can I even leave these two alone together? _

Kiun stepped off the elevator, accompanied by Takemikazuchi who gagged as soon as the door opened. 

“You weren’t kidding about the bleach.” Kiun pressed a hand to his face and nodded. 

“Takemikazuchi, what are you doing back?” Tenjin asked, stepping out of his office. Yato turned at the sound of his name and his face lit up. 

“Does this mean I’m not benched anymore?”

“I’m back officially tomorrow, but Kiun told me about Hiyori and I wanted to be here for any updates,” Take explained. Tenjin nodded. 

“Normally I’d send you home, but considering the circumstances-”

“Shots fired, shots fired!” Kiun cried, eyes narrowing to read the font on the news website, his face mere inches from the screen. 

“Hand me that,” Yato growled, pushing the chair Kiun was in out of the way. “Several shots were fired and a few officers were carried away by ambulance, that’s all they know.” Yato said, gulping. 

Tenjin turned on his heel wordlessly and strode into his office. All eyes lingered on him while he dialed the phone and spoke briefly to the person on the other end of the line. 

“I don’t have the names of the injured parties, but both the officers were men.” Yato’s knees gave out and he collapsed right into Kiun’s lap. 

“Yato!” Kiun cried indignantly.

* * *

 

Kazuma sighed and watched Yato’s back through the window. He was certain Yato was out there knitting, which Yato had taken to doing when he was stressed after his therapist told him he needed healthier stress relief habits. 

Yato had discretely asked Kazuma to look after Yukine then slipped out onto the roof with a frankly alarmingly large ball of yarn. Kazuma was half worried Yato wouldn’t come back until he’d finished an entire sweater. The false alarm had really affected him.

* * *

 

Yato sighed and then took another long slow breath like his anger management classes had taught him too. He wasn’t angry, but the teacher had said that the technique could work for controlling other emotions as well. 

He was grateful that Kazuma had agreed to watch Yukine, he’d needed a few minutes to himself. The few minutes between finding out officers had been shot and finding out neither of them had been Hiyori had nearly killed him, so now he was out here trying to sort out and deal with all the different emotions he was feeling. 

He’d nearly gone to pieces, and he felt like he still might, but he knew he needed to keep it together for everyone else’s sake. It wouldn’t be fair of him to put even more weight on the other’s shoulders, not to mention Yukine was looking to him for comfort. As he added more and more rows to the mittens he was knitting for Hiyori he thought about the others. 

Yukine was pretty scared, this was the first time he’d gone through something like this so he had no idea how to handle it. The others were dealing with it, but not well. Daikoku was sitting still as a statue, listening to his police scanner. Kofuku had somehow managed to fry every outlet in the precinct, and Bishamon was already on her third anger outburst of the day. 

_ Is it possible that  _ I’m  _ the one handling this the best? What weird parallel universe have I landed in? _

The clicking of his knitting needles was soothing against the background of the city. He tried to focus on the yarn and not cloud of dread that hung over the precinct.  _ Hiyori will be okay. Hiyori will be okay.  _

Yato wanted to make Hiyori proud, so that  _ when  _ she came home she would see him handling the stress and not buckling under the pressure and be relieved.

* * *

 

Yato placed the finished mittens on Hiyori’s desk and looked around the precinct. The air was heavy with anxiety and things were much like he’d left them. As he watched the precinct operate like a clock that was missing a vital gear Kiun walked straight into Bishamon, who laid him out without hesitation. Yato winced, thinking it was good that Kiun was half blind so he couldn’t see what might have just been the most terrifying sight that Yato had ever beheld. Bishamon had gone full angry tiger mode, full on growling at Kiun. Even Kazuma was hanging back, wary of approaching her when she was like this. 

_ How is this my job _ ? Yato wondered, crossing the precinct and dragging Kiun to his feet. 

“Get some glasses man,” he said as he pushed Kiun in the direction of his desk. 

Yato then turned to Bishamon, meeting her most intimidating glare with an expression of all the anxiety and grief he’d been trying to hold back until now. She blinked at his raw expression of vulnerability, her scowl fading. 

“Come on, Bishamon, don’t scare the kid,” he said, indication where Yukine was hovering anxiously behind Kofuku. There was a long pause. 

“How are you the one keeping it together?” She asked eventually.

“I’m pretty far from together, I feel like I’m falling apart and I’m more terrified than I’ve ever been in my entire life but… I just let peeling me off the ground be another thing that Hiyori has to worry about today.” Silence followed his words. 

“Yato-” Daikoku said, with something like pride. 

Yato met Kazuma’s eyes and saw that same emotion there. Yato gave him a sad smile and strode to his side, throwing an arm around his shoulders. For once Kazuma didn’t roll his eyes, just returned the half-embrace. 

“I’m really scared for Hiyori too,” Kazuma said. 

“I can’t stop thinking about what if something bad happens to her,” Yukine put in, appearing at Yato’s side. 

“I wish there was something I could do. I’m not used to feeling helpless and I don’t like it.”

“Guys, guys, guys, guys!” Kiun cried out, “there’s an update, someone read this for me!” Take rounded the desks and leaned in to read over Kiun’s shoulders. 

“They’ve taken both the shooters into custody. A few officers were injured in the action but it doesn’t say names or what precinct they’re from.” 

“Call her cell!” Daikoku said. All eyes turned to Yato, who was already dialing. After the second ring Hiyori’s voicemail picked up and Yato swore under his breath. 

“It’s just going to voicemail.”

“Let’s not panic,” Tenjin reasoned, “they’ve just taken in two shooters and there were multiple casualties. It’s going to be a circus over there and if Hiyori is uninjured she probably still hasn’t had the chance to check her messages. If her phones dead she may even just show up here after a while. There’s nothing to do but wait.”

All they had done all day was wait.

* * *

 

“Hey everybody,” Hiyori said.

In an instant Yato had crossed the room and wrapped Hiyori in his arms. A sob rattled n his chest as he buried her face in her neck, drinking her in like the elixir of life. His body curled around hers like he could shield her from the dangers of the world even though he’d learned today that he couldn’t. 

A terrible sound caught in Hiyori’s throat. She clutched at him tightly, burying her face in his shoulder and pressing close, her arms wrapping around his neck. Her shaking breath flutters on his neck and his body is too busy shaking with his repressed panic to react to it. The two of them held each other for a long time, making quiet sounds of mixed relief and grief because they couldn’t speak. 

_ She’s really here. She’s alive. Thank God.  _ Yato took a deep breath of her scent and made another ugly noise that he couldn’t name. The shaking in his hands slowly subsided and he mastered his raging emotions enough to speak, though his voice still came out broken and raw. 

“Are you hurt?” She shook her head mutely. 

He pulled away just enough to scan her for injuries, just to check, and noticed a light splatter of blood across the right side of her face. He didn’t comment on it, just brushed the worst of it away under the pretense of caressing her cheek lovingly. To his surprise she leaned into his touch, closing her eyes and sighing. When he tried to draw away she caught his wrist and pressed a kiss to his palm. His arm tightened around her reflexively and she leaned into him, pressing her forehead to his.

“Please stay with me.” They were the first words she’d spoken since she’d greeted them. They sang to the most precious parts of his soul. 

“I could never leave,” he replied. 

A high keening wail that might have been her name when it started jolted them from their trance just before something small and blonde collided with their side, nearly knocking them off their feet. Yukine sobbed into Hiyori’s chest, clutching her tightly. She released one of the arms that was holding Yato and wrapped it around Yukine. Yato did the same. 

“I’m sorry, Yukine, were you worried?” He said something incoherent that served as confirmation. 

“Yato kept distracting me with cleaning and Bishamon beat Kiun up, but every time there was a new update I got so scared they’d say you were dead!” Hiyori stroked Yukine’s hair, murmuring comforting words. 

“It’s all over now, I’m safe. I’m not hurt. I’m right here.” 

Bishamon and Kofuku both joined the group hug, tired of waiting their turn, and they were closely followed by the rest. Daikoku joined last and wrapped his arms around the whole group, tears streaming down his face. 

“Yato, will you take me over when we’re done here?” Hiyori whispered, leaning into his ear. He’d calmed enough that her breath on his ear sent a shudder down his spine, but he nodded. 

“Of course I will, Hiyori,” he kissed her softly on the temple and squeezed her a little tighter around the waist.

* * *

 

By the time Yato opened the door to Hiyori’s apartment her relief and joy at seeing her friends again had worn off and the suppressed terror from her ordeal was manifesting. Yato swept her off her feet and carried her across the threshold, despite her protests that she could walk. He kicked the door shut and dropped her purse in the entryway before carrying her to the couch and wrapping her up snugly in their love quilt. 

“What do you need?” He asked, kneeling in front of her. 

“You.” He ignored the way his entire body ignited at her response and asked again. 

“What  _ else _ do you need?” He watched her carefully while she considered. 

“Food.”

“Soup?” She giggled and nodded. “I’m on it.” 

He got to his feet, kissing her on the forehead before heading to the kitchen to fill her request. Once it was on the stove, however, there was little to do but wait, so he returned to her side, a warm wet rag in hand. Yato knelt at Hiyori’s feet and took her face gently in his hands, wiping away the blood on half of her face. She closed her eyes and leaned to one side, pulling the love quilt down so that the could get to the blood that remained on her neck. 

“It isn’t mine,” she said softly, staring at nothing.

“You don’t have too, Hiyori.” She kept talking like she hadn’t heard him.

“He was right next to me when it happened. One second he was there, giving orders and the next he’s on the ground and I can feel his blood on my face and everyone is firing. The bullet got him right where is protective gear ended. Someone dragged him away and I don’t even know if he survived.”

“I’ll find out for you.”

“I never got his name.”

“I’ll still find out.” 

“Thank you.” 

He withdrew the washrag, now cold, and reluctantly got to his feet. He hated to leave her like this, vulnerable and scared, even to go as far as the kitchen, but she hadn’t eaten all day. 

“Yato- thank you for taking care of me.” 

“Of course.” 

He quickly checked the temperature of her soup and poured it into a bowl before returning to her side. He sat down beside her, one hand holding the bowl and the other pulling her so close she was practically in his lap. He placed the bowl gently in her hands and wrapped that arm around her too. She ate a few bites before foregoing the spoon and drinking the soup right from the bowl. She set the empty bowl on the coffee table and relaxed against Yato, burying her face in his chest, sliding her hand up so it rested on his heart, it beat wildly in response to her touch but she took comfort in the feel and sound of a heart that deeply loved her.

“Do you want to talk?” He murmured, his voice resonating in his chest. 

“I felt so helpless,” she replied, the memories clogging her throat. “I watched so many officers and civilians go down and there was nothing I could do for them. I never want to feel like that again.” 

“I’m so sorry, Hiyori, I wish I knew the right thing to say.” Hiyori turned her tearful eyes to his face. 

“Just say what you’re thinking.”

“I’m thinking that you’re the farthest thing from helpless I can imagine. When everything was so terrible after Rabo’s trial and I could hardly function it felt like the world moved under your fingertips and there was nothing that couldn’t do. It seemed like the whole world stopped to listen when you spoke.” He chuckled. “You were the most powerful thing I had ever seen and I was totally in awe of you.”

Hiyori gave him a look so full of molten hot  _ something _ that he didn’t dare name that his heart nearly stopped, then kicked right into overdrive. The thundering of his pulse nearly choked out his breathing but he couldn’t look away because  _ no one _ in his life had ever looked at him like that, with so much emotion that he felt like he’d been set on fire. He didn’t dare even let himself think what that look might be saying because he’d been wrong before and he couldn’t stand it to be wrong again. Hiyori needed him now, and he needed to forget about everything else and just support her the way she’d supported him. 

Hiyori had no idea how to communicate what she was feeling, though her hand on his heart and her ear on his chest was telling her he understood, she knew by his expression that he didn’t  _ believe _ . And why would he? Yato knew better than anyone the things that trauma could do to your mental state, and he would dismiss any signs that she loved him as a projection. She leaned forward and kissed him sweetly on the cheek, leaving her hand where it was so she could feel his heart damn near stop and his breathing hitch. 

The corners of her mouth pulled upwards as she returned her head to where it had been and listened to Yato trying furiously to regain control of his emotions.  _ I want to tell him _ , she thought, but the restraint veiling the longing in his eyes told her that any move she made tonight would just make Yato think her feelings weren’t real, and she’d have to spend months detangling that web. But she’d also learned today that waiting for the right time would only leave her with regrets.  _ Tomorrow _ , she decided,  _ I’ll tell him tomorrow.  _ In the meantime she snaked her arms around Yato’s waist and collapsed into an exhausted sleep. 


	8. PTO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiyori and Yato take some of their Paid Time Off while the rest of the precinct enters lockdown.

Yato faded into awareness so slowly he thought he was still dreaming until Hiyori shifted against his chest, snapping him back into reality so fast his teeth clicked together. Her fingers curled into his hair, her fingernails grazing his scalp. It raised gooseflesh along his entire body. His arms tightened involuntarily around her, his thumb tracing slow circles on her bare shoulder while his other hand toyed with the tips of her hair. He told himself a few times that he  _ wasn’t  _ being creepy while he watched her sleep because she was the one who had asked him to stay the night in the first place. 

Her brow furrowed in her sleep and Yato smiled softly. 

“Are you having a bad dream, Hiyori?” He murmured, voice thick with affection. “Don’t worry, I’m here.”

Despite himself, he couldn’t help imagining what it would feel like to wake up to this every day. His phone buzzed on the coffee table and he reached for it, straining to grab it without waking Hiyori. When he glanced back to check if she was still sleeping he was taken off guard by her alert eyes on his face and he shrieked in fright, jumping so hard he took both of them off the couch and crashing to the floor. 

“Fuck!” He shouted, crying out as her knee accidentally hit him right where it hurts. 

“I’m sorry!” She said, climbing off him while he winced and curled up, groaning loudly. “I’m sorry are you okay?”

“Holy shit,” he whispered by way of response. Hiyori knelt at his side, wincing sympathetically. 

“Do you need anything?” After a bit longer Yato sat up and shook his head. 

“I’m fine, but Jesus, you scared me.”

“Sorry! I heard you talking and woke up, I didn’t mean to scare you!”

“I didn’t mean to wake you up, I thought you were having a bad dream.” 

Her teasing smile sent sparks across his skin. “So I heard.” She climbed back onto the couch and he followed her. “Thanks for staying with me, by the way. You make me feel safe.” 

Warmth erupted in his chest and he had to look away to maintain some pretense of dignity.  _ God, I want to marry you _ , he thought. He took a beat to compose himself before shooting back a quip to break the tension.

“No problem. You know I’ve always wanted to sleep with you,” he winked suggestively and braced for a slap that never came. Instead she barked a surprised laugh. 

“Okay so  _ maybe  _ I knew you wouldn’t say no if I asked,” she said mischievously. 

Hiyori sighed and rested her cheek against his shoulder, he tentatively wrapped an arm around her waist, then relaxed slightly when she didn’t pull away. Yato, terrified by his own daring, slowly leaned back and pulled Hiyori with him so they were once again reclining together on the couch. Still, Hiyori didn’t protest and even snuggled closer.  _ Is this a dream? _ He half wondered. 

“How are you doing?” He asked. 

“Better. I’m not quite ready to go back to work yet.”

“Do you want me to stay?” 

Hiyori hesitated. That would be asking a lot. Yato hoarded all of his time off for visits with Hiiro, he rarely missed work, even for illness. 

“I - Hiiro -”

“She’ll understand. She saw the shooting on the news. She was really worried about you, she’d probably be mad if I didn’t take the day.”

“...alright, but just the one day,” she said eventually.

“I’ll email Tenjin and let him know, you should get some more sleep.” 

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” she murmured, tucking her head into his neck and closing her eyes. “You should sleep in too since you can.” She felt him press a kiss to the top of her head. 

“Will do.”

* * *

 

“Alright team, Hiyori is taking some leave time and Yato is taking the day off to spend with her so I expect you all to be picking up the slack,” Tenjin said from the door to his office. 

“The last thing she needs right now is that idiot proposing again while they’re alone,” Take said, shaking his head. 

“Hiyori asked him to stay, and Yato would never do anything to complicate her recovery,” Kazuma said flatly, though his eyes flashed with annoyance. 

“Right,” Take said, sensing a fight was imminent if he didn’t drop the subject. “Sorry.” 

He looked over at Kiun to make a face and made a horrified sound leaping across their desks, hands outstretched for the carton of egg whites that Take had mistaken for milk and was about to pour into his hot coffee. 

“What the hell?” Kiun asked indignantly. Heads turned all around the precinct as Take snatched the carton away.

“How many times do I have to tell you to get glasses? This is not milk!” There was some shaking of heads as Take snatched the egg whites and returned them to the refrigerator. 

“How the hell did you pass the physical in the academy if you can’t see?” Bishamon asked. 

“And why are you allowed to carry a gun?” Kazuma asked. 

“I can see just fine!”

“Package for you detective,” a uniformed officer said, dropping a box onto Kiun’s desk and walking away before Kiun could make out his face. If that had ever even been something he could do. 

He cut open the box and pulled out a bag of white powder. All the blood drained from his face and he slammed the box shut again. He dropped a file on top of it and sped into Tenjin’s office, bumping into no less than six people and a desk as he went. 

Take, concerned, rounded the desk, and peered into the box himself before going pale and approaching Bishamon. 

“Hey,” he said quietly, crouching at her side, “you’re on the team investigating those packages being sent to police precincts right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“They were all hoaxes, right?”

“Yeah, but we think they may be trying to gauge police reaction or build a false sense of security so when they send the real one it isn’t taken seriously. Why?”

“Because Yato and Hiyori dodged a bullet, and we’re in for a long day.” Together the three of them turned and looked at the package on Kiun’s desk dreading the rest of their day.

* * *

 

Hiyori was woken the next time by Yato trying to worm out from under her, which would have been quite the impressive feat if he’d managed it. She climbed off him and he rolled off the couch and zipped across the apartment into the bathroom, swinging the door closed behind him. Hiyori giggled.  _ How long has he needed to pee? _ While Yato was in the bathroom his phone buzzed and Hiyori checked it, jaw-dropping when she saw the message. 

“Yato! Pee faster you need to see this! But don’t forget to wash your hands!”

“Proper handwashing procedure is twenty seconds, Hiyori!” Hiyori groaned but supposed that she couldn’t complain that Yato insisted on washing his hands properly. 

“Alright, Alright, what is it?” He asked, then frowned when she held his phone out to him lips parting in shock when he read the messages. 

_ K: Going under lockdown, Kiun got one of those packages with the white powder _

_ K: Going to be a long day, hazmat is here and locking down the building _

_ K: are you trying to do something crazy? You only don’t reply when you’re doing something stupid _

_ K: It’s probably a hoax don’t do anything stupid _

_ K: I mean it if you try to break in I’ll shoot you no joke _

Yato took the phone from her and replied that he was fine and  _ not  _ doing something crazy and reckless. 

“What do you think? A hoax like the others?” Hiyori asked. 

“Probably. They will probably be out of lock down within the hour. You should get some more sleep. I was going to make breakfast.” 

“Breakfast sounds nice, but if I sleep anymore I won’t sleep tonight and I’ll be tired at work tomorrow.”

Yato looked horrified. “You’re not thinking of going into work tomorrow?”

“Of course I’m going to work tomorrow.” Yato shook his head. 

“You should take a few more days, Hiyori.”

“I wasn’t even hurt!”

“Physical injuries aren’t the only kind of hurt,” he said seriously. She sighed. 

“I know, Yato, but really, I’ll be fine to come in tomorrow.”

“No, you won’t! You think that now but you won’t once you get to work!  _ Please  _ take a few days?” 

Hiyori gave him a tired look as he batted his eyelashes, giving her with a wide-eyed pleading look he thought was convincing but was really just ridiculous. 

“Fine, I’ll take tomorrow off, but  _ just  _ tomorrow.” 

“We can come back to that,” Yato said, seeming satisfied. Hiyori rolled her eyes. 

“You don’t have to fuss over me, Yato. I’m a big girl I can handle myself.” 

“Those words sound weirdly familiar,” he said, getting to his feet and entering the kitchen. 

“Well at least let me help you make breakfast?” She asked, approaching his side. “I don’t need any more sleep.” 

“You could shower instead,” he suggested gently, leaning over and pecking her on the forehead.

She glanced down at herself and grimaced when she realized she was wearing the same clothes she’d worn yesterday, sweat soaked and complete with blood splattered across the collar.

“I’ll wash the clothes, I’m good at getting blood out.” 

The beat of silence that followed those words stabbed both of them as they remembered  _ why  _ he’d gotten so skilled with getting blood out of clothes. Hiyori nodded numbly and searched for a way to break tension. 

“You know girls are pretty good with blood stains too, what with all the bleeding we do,” she looked downward pointedly and he pressed his lips together, smiling. 

“Fair enough, maybe you can teach me sometime.”

“Head and Shoulders shampoo, it takes out even dried in blood stains,” she said airily, walking away. 

“There’s no way that’s right,” Yato replied. 

Hiyori chuckled and left the room for her shower, mind returning to her friends currently locked down in the precinct, hoping that they were alright. 

Yato watched Hiyori disapear into her bedroom and heard her rustling around in her bedroom for a change of clothes. A few minutes later he heard the shower turn on and he left his post in the kitchen to check the damage on her clothes. He chuckled when he saw a bottle of Head and Shoulders laying on top of her dirty clothes. He held the shirt up to the light and inspected it carefully. There was a light spray of blood across the collar, dried now, but there wasn’t much of it. It shouldn’t be too hard to get it out. He glanced back out the bedroom door to check on his food then gathered the rest of the dirty clothes. 

Something caught his eye on Hiyori’s nightstand and he turned to see the small purple flower he had made her sitting on her bedside table next to her alarm clock. His body temperature rose, his stomach swooping to see she’d kept it. Not only that but she’d kept it where she would see it every morning. There had to be something to that, right? He gulped and looked away, taking Hiyori’s clothes to the laundry room to work on getting the stains out.

* * *

 

“Kazuma, status?” Tenjin asked. 

All the working detectives were standing around Tenjin’s desk with Daikoku and Kofuku in company, faces grim. 

“Hazmat confirmed that the substance is not baking powder, but they will need the Emergency testing unit to verify that it is not harmful. We’re locked down with 42 civilians that can be divided into four groups. First, there are twelve perps in holding.”

“We can call them the dirty dozen!” Kofuku suggested. 

“Second we have the innocent people who just happened to be here: witnesses, people picking up loved ones, a couple of food delivery guys.”

“Normies,” Take suggested. 

“Next group is trouble, they’re snitches and suspects, with a couple of gang members here to pick up their friends.”

“Scumbags,” Daikoku said. 

“The next group is the worst: six lawyers.” The group made a collective sound of disgust. 

“They’re called the Dipshits,” Bishamon growled. No one argued. 

“Here’s the plan, we’re going to separate the groups and start rationing the food now. We might be in for a long night, the Emergency Testing Unit is off on training and it’s going to take them four hours to get here,” Tenjin said. 

“I feel like they should have a second team ready in case something like this happens,” Kiun said. “Especially with so many of these packages being mailed out recently.”

“Indeed,” Kazuma agreed. “Poor planning on their part.” 

“We have rights you know!” One of the lawyers protested. 

“You have the right to be forced into submission if I hear one more word out of your mouth,” Bishamon growled, fixed him with a look so terrifying that he physically retreated across the room and didn’t speak again. 

Bishamon  _ hated  _ lawyers.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Kiun was caught in a conversation with a prostitute and trying desperately not to be rude, but to end the conversation so he could get back to work. Take looked on and did nothing to help him. 

“Girl that  _ has  _ to be a weave! No one’s hair looks like that naturally!”

“It’s not! I just don’t use heat styling on it so it stays healthier!”

“Oh, now you’re trying to tell me your hair hangs that straight  _ without _ heat styling! I  _ knew  _ cops were full of shit!” 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Kiun asked. 

“You know what it means! You and your black-headed boyfriend are both full of it!”

“I didn’t do anything to you!” Take snapped, “keep me out of it!”

“How is that hair even police regulation?” A gang member added. 

“Bitch shut up,” the prostitute snapped. “You and your bald ass have no part in this conversation.” The gangster muttered something foul under his breath but the prostitute ignored him. 

“I bet you go around pretending that’s your real hair too!” She said as she resumed her tirade. 

“I take vitamins for it!” Take said, glaring at the woman through the bars of the holding cell. Take grabbed Kiun and dragged him away from holding irritably, the prostitute geering after them. 

“I keep telling you not to engage with the people in holding, Kiun!”

“I didn’t think she’d get so mad! She just asked about my hair!”

* * *

 

“Take, Kiun! Get your asses in here!” The two of them followed Bishamon’s voice into the conference room, where the civilians were being kept.

“What is it?” Take asked. 

“The two little girls are bored and getting cranky, so I told them they could braid your hair! Isn’t that fun?” She asked, looking down at the two girls. 

“Yeah!” They cheered. Take and Kiun both looked green, not keen on the idea of two little girls yanking and pulling at their hair. 

“No way! We’re police detectives, we’ve got work to do!” Take said. The two girls looked crestfallen and the youngest one started to wail. 

Tenjin entered the room just as the oldest girl started to cry also, looking harried. The girls father didn’t even attempt to calm them. 

“Detectives what is going on?” He asked. “I told you to keep the civilians in line.”

“Take and Kiun made these kids cry,” Bishamon said quickly, a glint of mischief in her eyes. Tenjin turned angry eyes on the duo now. 

“We did not! Bishamon promised them that they could braid our hair without asking! She has long hair too! Why can’t they braid her hair?” Tenjin gave him a flat look, indicating Bishamon’s already elaborately braided and pinned up hair. Take cursed his own simple ponytail. 

As the girls crying escalated Tenjin began looking more and more annoyed. 

“Detectives Takemikazuchi and Kiun, you will act like adults and let these two little girls braid your hair that is an  _ order _ .” 

“Yay! I call the black headed one!” The youngest girl asked, grabbing fistfuls of hair and yanking excitedly. Take yelped and glared at Bishamon angrily, swearing revenge as he was dragged away by the ponytail. Kiun was much more fortunate, the older girl was much gentler. 

“We’re two detectives down now but we don’t really need them anyway,” Tenjin said. “Daikoku is handling the scumbags and Kazuma is with the Dipshits, can you take care of this group? Kofuku is… playing with the dirty dozen. I have to call the police chief to update him on the situation. It’s still two hours until the emergency testing unit even gets here.”

* * *

 

_ Y: 911 I’M FREAKING OUT _

_ K: What?  _

_ Y: HIYORI KEPT THAT FLOWER I MADE HER NEXT TO HER BED! WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?? _

_ K: Yato I’m in the middle of a real emergency and Take and Kiun just got into an argument with a prostitute. There’s kind of a lot on my plate right now _

_ Y: those two are always idiots though. Why do you think she kept the flower? And next to her bed of all places? _

_ K: Take and Kiun aren’t the only idiots. I’ve told you before that Hiyori is into you. She kept the flower next to her bed because she likes you and your gift meant a lot _

_ Y: BUT HOW CAN YOU BE SURE _

_ K: JUST ASK FOR THE LOVE OF GOD _

_ K: YOUVE ASKED HER TO MARRY YOU SIX TIMES WHY CANT YOU JUST ASK HER IF SHE LIKES YOU _

_ Y: but that’s scary! What if she says no? _

_ K: then you’re literally in the same place you were fifteen minutes ago before you found the flower _

_ Y: Why wouldn’t she have just said something if she likes me, though? I tell her all the time! What if she likes it because I promised to leave her alone, or because pink is her favorite color? _

_ K: what if I died in this precinct because things got out of hand while I was trying to tell you to be less of an idiot?  _

_ Y: ...Kazuma it will hurt really bad if I let myself hope and she turns me down _

_ Y: I just don’t want to rock the boat when we’ve finally got something like a groove going on and we can just act normal around each other.  _

_ K: ...I’m sorry I was mean.  _

_ K: Look, I can’t make you believe Hiyori likes you but I can tell you it’s going to drive you crazy if you don’t ask. Remember how you told me it felt before you told her? It’ll be like that again. How’s that for a groove? _

_ Y: You’re right. I’ll ask. Not today, she just went through something bad, but I’ll ask once she’s feeling better _

_ K: atta boy _

* * *

 

Hiyori reentered the room just as Yato finished making breakfast. She sat at the kitchen table and smiled gratefully as he placed a plate with a bacon smile in front of her. He gave her a goofy grin and plopped down near him. She giggled. 

“What would I do without you?”

“Not spend hours flipping through all of your books looking for messages I wrote while drunk,” he joked. 

“Or contact Youtube regularly to have videos of you proposing taken down,” she added, shaking her head. “You keep things interesting, Yato, I’ll give you that.”

“I pride myself on being interesting! I’m the most interesting man in the world!”

“Do sharks have a week dedicated to you? If opportunity knocks and you’re not home, does opportunity wait? Do all your fortune cookies simply read ‘Congratulations?’” Yato looked bewildered for thirty solid seconds before he realized what she was talking about. 

“Hiyori we need to have a serious talk. Just how many Dos Equis commercials have you memorized, and have you considered seeing the department counselor about your obsession with them?” Hiyori snorted with laughter. 

“How was I not supposed to make that joke? You opened the door I just walked through it!” He shook his head and sat in front of his own plate and the two of them tucked into their food. 

“It’s been years since those aired!”

“I watched them again last week!”

“Why the hell are you watching old beer commercial compilations? Who are you?”

“I was watching wrestling and a Dos Equis commercial on and It reminded me of them! It was like a song stuck in my head!” 

Yato gaped at her but was distracted when his phone buzzed and the screen from a message from Kazuma. 

“Update on the situation at the precinct?” Hiyori asked, peering at the message. 

_ K: They stuck me with the lawyers and they keep complaining. Why did Viina get the civilians?  _

_ Y: That’s rough buddy _

“Is that an update on how things are going at the precinct?”

“Take and Kiun got into an argument about their hair with a prostitute in holding, Kazuma told me about it while you were in the shower.”

“So everything’s normal then.”

“Yeah pretty much.” 

“I don’t think anyone working is too worried, but the civilians are pretty freaked out.”

Hiyori’s opened an incoming message from Bishamon and snickered, holding it out to show Yato the image of Kiun and Take looking extraordinarily angry as their hair was braided by two little girls. Yato snorted into his omelet. 

“Now I’m almost sorry to have missed the lockdown, it seems like things are starting to get fun.”

“It would have been an interesting work day, to say the least.” They tucked into their breakfast silently then, Yato still thinking over what Kazuma had said before Hiyori had finished her shower. 

_ Remember how you told me it felt before you told her? It’ll be like that again. How’s that for a groove? _

* * *

 

“We want out of here!” A snitch shouted. Daikoku scowled. This guy had been shifting nervously for the last hour, getting more and more nervous to be a snitch in a room full of criminals. Nevermind that Daikoku, an absolutely massive and threatening presence, was there to keep the criminals in line. 

“You can’t legally keep us!”

“Yes. We can. We’re under quarantine which means you can’t legally leave.”

“Whatever! I’m outta here!” The man leapt to his feet and tried to dodge past Daikoku who snatched his arm and swung him around, slamming him into the wall single-handedly. 

“You can either sit here in our nice comfortable conference room or you can join the perps in the much  _ less  _ comfortable holding cell,” Daikoku growled. “What will it be?”

“You can’t do this to me!”

“Yes. I can. What will it be.” 

“Man let me go, I ain’t going to holding.” Daikoku released him and turned stern eyes on the rest of the scumbags. “Anyone else want to go?” When no one responded Daikoku took a seat facing the room and crossed his arms. 

What a bad way to spend a morning.

* * *

 

The rest of the precinct was faring the much the same way. Some of the people in holding had already been there all morning and were eager to be released, while the civilians who had come in on breaks or before work were upset at missing their prior engagements. They were nearing the three-hour mark and the Emergency Testing Unit was still an hour out, caught in a  _ very  _ inconvenient traffic jam. 

Kazuma had nearly reached hits wits end with the Dipshits,  _ the lawyers _ , he reminded himself, lest he call them dipshits to their faces and escalate the situation more. They were all on the phone, calling coworkers and clients and sounding angrier than was really necessary. Weren’t lawyers able to set their own schedules, as their clients were dependant on them to keep them out of jail so they were naturally more inclined to treat their lawyers well so they wouldn’t get on their bad side? 

That’s how Kazuma had always imagined it at least, but maybe that wasn’t the case. He wished that there was at least  _ one  _ ADA there to keep him company, someone sane that needed to keep a productive working relationship with him so he wasn’t a clownfish facing off against six barracuda. 

“Hey, you, Officer Four Eyes!” One lady snapped after she got off the phone. Kazuma turned cold eyes on her and wished desperately for the scary faces of his best friend and girlfriend, remembering how Viina had asserted her dominance over the lawyers without speaking a word and kept them in line. 

“That’s Detective Kazuma, Counselor.”

“Whatever. Do you know how much longer until we’re out of here?” 

“The Emergency Testing Unit is going to be here in a little over an hour. There was an accident on the highway and it’s taking a while to clear.”

“Well, what the hell am I supposed to do about the appointments I missed because you idiots can’t tell baking soda from anthrax?”

“Reschedule them?” Kazuma suggested. 

“Oh wow if only I had thought of that!” She snapped. 

_ K: I’ll pay money for you to switch with me. I can’t handle the lawyers anymore.  _

_ B: Sorry, no deal.  _

Shouting drew his attention to the bullpen and he stepped out of the interrogation room where the lawyers were being kept to see Kofuku grinning like a madwoman as three uniformed officers stormed into holding to break up a fight. Her eyes held the unmistakable satisfaction of a plan gone completely right and Kazuma frowned at her. Whatever she had purred into the ears of the people in holding had incited a riot. Tenjin should have known better to put her in charge of a group, she was too prone to causing disaster. 

“Whoopsie,” she trilled as Kazuma came closer. 

Kazuma ignored her. 

“What the hell is going on in there?” He called, drawing his weapon to be ready in case he needed it. 

“These two idiots started brawling for no reason!” One of the officers said. 

“Break it up or you’ll be cuffed to opposing walls,” Kazuma said. 

“What the hell is going on?” Someone shouted. Kazuma groaned. Of  _ course, _ the lawyers had followed him out of interrogation. 

Out of the kitchen came Bishamon, with the civilians on her heels. Take and Kiun appeared behind her, looking ridiculous with their hair in sloppy and knotted braids, but Kazuma couldn’t enjoy their misfortune right now. Daikoku’s group came down the hall. 

Slowly an angry mob was accumulating in the bullpen, which was exactly what they had been trying to avoid when they separated the groups. Kazuma shot Bishamon an alarmed look and saw that she was on the same train of thought as he was. If they didn’t get this situation under control right now then there would be a  _ real  _ riot, and people might get hurt.

* * *

 

“No! I hate you! You’re the worst person alive!” Hiyori complained loudly as she handed over her two, which she had been saving. 

“I told you, Hiyori, I’m the master at Go Fish.” 

“You’re a cheater! I don’t know how but you are! Is there something behind me that you’re seeing my cards on?” She turned around and looked over her shoulder, despite the fact they were in her apartment and she knew good and well that there was nothing like that behind her.

“You’re such a sore loser!” Yato said, laughing. It was their third game of Go Fish and Hiyori’s third loss. Yato delt the nest hand. 

“Do you have a queen?”

“Nope,” Hiyori replied. 

“Liar.” 

“I’m not lying!” She insisted, looking straight at her queen. 

“Prove it!” 

“No! I’m not showing you my cards! You’re trying to cheat!”

“You’re the cheater!” 

Yato leaned over the table and reached for her cards and Hiyori held them out of his reach, prompting him to climb over the table reaching for them. She scooted back as far as she could until she hit the sofa and was squirming to keep her cards away from them. Unfortunately, Yato had a longer reach than her and she was smushed between Yato and the couch so she had to resort to dirty tricks, like using her free hand to push his face to the side. When face pushing failed her she used her Forbidden Knowledge of his tickle spots. 

Yato squealed into her ear and shot away so hard his back hit slammed into the coffee table, knocking it back several inches. 

“Ow!” 

“I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said, leaning forward and rubbing his back painfully. Hiyori reached forward instinctively and Yato snatched the cards from her hand. “Ha! Fooled you!” He leapt to his feet and she followed. 

“Yato!”

“I  _ knew  _ you were lying!” 

He held the cards above her head in an attempt to get her to jump for them but she refused to give him the satisfaction. Instead, she stood toe to toe with him, arms crossed. His face broke into a mischievous grin that Hiyori didn’t like. He dropped the cards so they rained down over the two of them before wrapping Hiyori in a bone-crushing hug, pinning her arms to her sides. 

“Yato-AHH!” She squealed as Yato tickled her and she found herself unable to escape. She squirmed and writhed, emitting a high pitched half laugh half squeal. 

“Let me go! Please, oh my God, Stop!”

Yato went limp and dragged the two of them down onto the couch so she was pinned underneath him. At least he stopped tickling her.

His face was inches from hers, his bangs were just long enough to tickle her cheeks. His eyes glowed with a familiar affection, though much more intensely than usual. Something about the look combined with how he’d been testing her boundaries all day told her that he was ready to hear what she had to say. She smiled warmly, opening up her own expression to let him see what she was feeling and something like relief filtered into his eyes. Still, she worried he might think she was projecting.

Hiyori ran her hand through Yato’s hair, fingernails scraping his scalp, and he shuddered, closing his eyes. 

“You know there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time, Yato.” His breath caught and his eyes blinked open. Due to their close quarters, she could feel his heart rate picking up. 

His expression in this moment said all he needed was the right words, at least part of him knew already. 

“I should have told you sooner but I was waiting for the right time, and yesterday I thought I had waited too late.” Yato gulped. “I love you, Yato. I have for a long time, and I don’t want you to think that I’m projecting or that I don’t mean it, Because I do.” 

There was a long silence where he stared at her, searching for any signs of unsurety, but found none. 

“I believe you… the flower…” Hiyori felt heat rush to her face. She had forgotten she had left that next to her bed, and then Yato had been in her room and seen it. How embarrassing. Yato, too close to miss her blush, smirked. “Was that a secret?”

“No! I...meant for you to see that! It was all part of my master plan!” Yato barked a laugh. 

“You are  _ such  _ a bad liar! I love that about you.” His smile softened to something so warm and affectionate her heart melted and he closed the distance between them and finally, _ finally  _ kissed Hiyori.

* * *

 

The crowd was getting out of control, Kazuma was being buffeted about by the crowd, no one hearing a word he said. 

“Everyone calm down!” 

No one calmed down. 

No one calmed down until Bishamon lost her temper that is. She flipped Daikoku’s desk over and into the break room window, sending the desktop computer crashing to the ground and shattering the glass. The room went quiet. 

“ENOUGH!” Bishamon shouted, which stopped almost all of the commotion. “You’re all going to go sit quietly in your rooms until the Emergency Testing Unit gets here or I will  _ personally _ make you regret it.”

“Oh Yeah? And why should we be scared of you?” One of the gangsters asked, stepping forward. 

Bishamon laid him out so quickly that even Kazuma didn’t realize what was happening until the guy was on the ground whimpering with a bloody nose.

“Anyone else?” There was silence. “Good.” 

She glared the civilians back into their rooms then stood in the middle of the bullpen, pacing the perimeter occasionally like a lioness. 

_ She couldn’t have done that earlier? _ Kazuma wondered. 

Nevertheless, they didn’t have any more problems for the duration of the lockdown. The Emergency Testing Unit arrived and verified the substance was not harmful and everyone was allowed to leave. Finally Kazuma had the time to check his phone.

“Holy  _ shit _ .”

_ Y: Hiyori kissed me!!  _


End file.
